"If you play around the beehive you must expect to be stung." - Greek
Proverb
Jamie Foxx Promotes Whipping
Jamie Foxx created a bit of controversy with his Oscar acceptance speech. Below
is a message (sent to us by Dale Wares) from Barbara Rogers (author of Screams
from Childhood at www.screamsfromchildhood.com)
sharing the acceptance speech she thinks Foxx should have given:
"What a unique opportunity to speak up for the human rights of children
did Jamie Foxx miss in his acceptance speech at Sunday night's 77th Academy
Awards. Talking about his grandmother, who raised him and who was his first
acting teacher, he said:
"'She told me, stand up straight, shoulders back. Act like you've got some
sense. We would go places and I was wild-eyed. She said act like you've been
someplace. And when I would act the fool, she would whip me. And she could get
an Oscar for the way she whipped me because she was great at it. And after she
would whip me she would talk to me and tell me why she whipped me, that `I want
you to be a Southern gentleman. And she still talks to me now, only now she
talks to me in my dreams (breaks down in tears), and I can't wait to go to sleep
tonight because we have a lot to talk about. I love you.'
"How sad and shocking it was to hear whipping being recommended for an
Oscar. Jamie Foxx could have spoken out in front of millions of people AGAINST
whipping children, against using violence to raise vulnerable human beings.
This is what he could have said:
"'And when I would act the fool, she would whip me, and I know that was
wrong. It hurt my body, my feelings and my pride. I don't and will never do
this to my daughter because I cannot hurt her the way I was hurt. Our children
must never learn that it is acceptable and human to resolve conflicts through
physical violence. But I am here today because my grandmother believed in me
and cared for me and about me. She was always there for me and supported me.
She was in other ways a great role model. She wanted me to be a Southern gentleman.
And she still talks to me now, only now she talks to me in my dreams, and I
can't wait to go to sleep tonight because we have a lot to talk about. I love
you.'"
For more ideas on disciplining
young children check out Exchange's Beginnings Workshop, "Perspectives
on Discipline" at http://mail.ccie.com/go/eed/0556
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Comments (82)
Displaying 5 of 82 Comments [ View all ]United States
I believe that foxx gave the right speech. I got whipped as a child and i believe that it is the only reason i turned out as a nice civilized human being who respects her elders and watches what she says. People who disagree with spanking obviously don't really know what it is. It is not abuse. It is love- teaching a child the way he/she should act and why they should not act a certain way. As a child, i was whipped myself and it taught me respect and humility. Because of those whippings, i don't curse at others, fight, or act barbaric. It is what kept me grounded.
I know of cases of children who weren't whipped as a child- who were told to do this and that, who were sent to 'time out', who were sent to their room. Many of those same kids have dropped out of school, been to jail, have kids before their 16, and much worse.
My point is whipping is a very effective way to discipline one's children and the sons and daughters who are deprived of this form of discipline are more likely to become our future criminals.
Baltimore, MD, United States
...Whipping is bad for children??!! There is a definite distinction between whipping a child for discipline, and BEATING or PHYSICALLY ABUSING a child. During his acceptance speech, Jamie Foxx wanted to be as sincere and humble as possible, and he only expressed how his life experiences have shaped him as the person his is today - how dare this author attempt to dilute and rearrange his speech to preach a message that Jamie himself doesn't even believe in! If you talk to adults who were disciplined by whipping as a child, the percentage of them who look back at their rearing as abusive is probably so small and insignificant that these activists wouldn't even have a half-decent argument to battle with anymore. Most people look back on their childhood whippings (if disciplinary and not abusive) as a positive impact in their life and a testimony to the strength of their character. Whipping is disciplining with love; beating is punishing without love... After all, those kids we see on reality TV who need "professional help" controlling their "unruly kids" are the same people who don't believe in beating. Coincidence? I think not...
United States
An Open Letter to Jamie Foxx: It Wasn't the Whippings, Jamie, It was the Love, by Dr. Teresa Whitehurst
This letter can be found at the website NoSpank with the following link:
http://www.nospank.net/whthrst4.htm
This letter supports with scientific research that love is guidance without violence and degradation.
Sincerely, Barbara Rogers
HHS
Crofton, MD, United States
It's an unfortunate fact of life that some people still believe in corporal punishment. However, I believe that instead of griping about it in this forum, or suggesting what Jamie Foxx should have said, write him a letter and express your concerns. Some time ago, I wrote to McDonald's about an inappropriate commercial advertising a parent unwilling to share her meal with her child or husband. Within days the commercial was removed. Perhaps many of us responded to that add and prompted McDonald's to remove it. So, I say, let Jamie Foxx know the inappropriateness of his comments.
Kindernastics Consulting
Carlsbad, CA, United States
In an ideal world both parents and children would be perfect. But that is NOT the case. How ridiculous to assume that what Jamie Foxx had to say about whipping was wrong and that he should have spoken out against it. Guess what............you weren't there, you did NOT walk in his shoes. You have no idea as to what kind of a child he was, or if the "whipping" was a swat, or whatever. Obviously, he knew without a doubt that his Grandmother loved him deeply, and he knew the boundaries and he knew what to expect if he crossed those boundaries. And obviously, he was not an easy child, and got what he needed to help him stay within the boundaries. He said so himself, so who are you to judge the rightness or wrongness of his life and how he grew up.
Discipline involves teaching, training, exhorting, encouraging, and correcting. And. when we get to the correcting, some kids actually do need to be spanked. When all else fails, and nothing else gets their attention, and they refuse to stay within the proper boundaries. I speak with 40 years of working with children, and although we puport to know more about raising children; based upon all of the disrectful teenagers and more kids on meds for poor behavior, etc. and permissive, inattentive. inconsistant parents that I have seen in the past 15 years, I am not so sure.
Nicki
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