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I believe that foxx gave the right speech. I got whipped as a child and i believe that it is the only reason i turned out as a nice civilized human being who respects her elders and watches what she says. People who disagree with spanking obviously don't really know what it is. It is not abuse. It is love- teaching a child the way he/she should act and why they should not act a certain way. As a child, i was whipped myself and it taught me respect and humility. Because of those whippings, i don't curse at others, fight, or act barbaric. It is what kept me grounded.
I know of cases of children who weren't whipped as a child- who were told to do this and that, who were sent to 'time out', who were sent to their room. Many of those same kids have dropped out of school, been to jail, have kids before their 16, and much worse.
My point is whipping is a very effective way to discipline one's children and the sons and daughters who are deprived of this form of discipline are more likely to become our future criminals.

...Whipping is bad for children??!! There is a definite distinction between whipping a child for discipline, and BEATING or PHYSICALLY ABUSING a child. During his acceptance speech, Jamie Foxx wanted to be as sincere and humble as possible, and he only expressed how his life experiences have shaped him as the person his is today - how dare this author attempt to dilute and rearrange his speech to preach a message that Jamie himself doesn't even believe in! If you talk to adults who were disciplined by whipping as a child, the percentage of them who look back at their rearing as abusive is probably so small and insignificant that these activists wouldn't even have a half-decent argument to battle with anymore. Most people look back on their childhood whippings (if disciplinary and not abusive) as a positive impact in their life and a testimony to the strength of their character. Whipping is disciplining with love; beating is punishing without love... After all, those kids we see on reality TV who need "professional help" controlling their "unruly kids" are the same people who don't believe in beating. Coincidence? I think not...

An Open Letter to Jamie Foxx: It Wasn't the Whippings, Jamie, It was the Love, by Dr. Teresa Whitehurst
This letter can be found at the website NoSpank with the following link:
http://www.nospank.net/whthrst4.htm
This letter supports with scientific research that love is guidance without violence and degradation.
Sincerely, Barbara Rogers

It's an unfortunate fact of life that some people still believe in corporal punishment. However, I believe that instead of griping about it in this forum, or suggesting what Jamie Foxx should have said, write him a letter and express your concerns. Some time ago, I wrote to McDonald's about an inappropriate commercial advertising a parent unwilling to share her meal with her child or husband. Within days the commercial was removed. Perhaps many of us responded to that add and prompted McDonald's to remove it. So, I say, let Jamie Foxx know the inappropriateness of his comments.

In an ideal world both parents and children would be perfect. But that is NOT the case. How ridiculous to assume that what Jamie Foxx had to say about whipping was wrong and that he should have spoken out against it. Guess what............you weren't there, you did NOT walk in his shoes. You have no idea as to what kind of a child he was, or if the "whipping" was a swat, or whatever. Obviously, he knew without a doubt that his Grandmother loved him deeply, and he knew the boundaries and he knew what to expect if he crossed those boundaries. And obviously, he was not an easy child, and got what he needed to help him stay within the boundaries. He said so himself, so who are you to judge the rightness or wrongness of his life and how he grew up.
Discipline involves teaching, training, exhorting, encouraging, and correcting. And. when we get to the correcting, some kids actually do need to be spanked. When all else fails, and nothing else gets their attention, and they refuse to stay within the proper boundaries. I speak with 40 years of working with children, and although we puport to know more about raising children; based upon all of the disrectful teenagers and more kids on meds for poor behavior, etc. and permissive, inattentive. inconsistant parents that I have seen in the past 15 years, I am not so sure.
Nicki

My grandmother was English, and while I never ever remember her raising her hand to me, she always would shake it at us and remind us that she had a heavy hand and could use it if necessary. In my stressful growing up years, her love was sometimes the only unconditional love that I could count on. She always told me that I could do whatever I had to do to survive. To this day I am greatful for that love that still sustains me and allowed me to become the person that I am. I too understood that it was love that Jamie Foxx was talking about and his acceptance of how he got to be what he is. I also agree that while we know that there is much in this world that we wish to improve upon, we must be careful not to be judgemental about those memories that many of us cherish.

I too agree with many of the respondents that expressed concern about the judgements made about Jamie Foxx. The spirit of his message was that of love and care- "whipping" is a phrase used to describe an approach with which many of us "of color" are familiar. Although there are many more acceptable methods of discipline, it is sad that the focus was shifted to a negative rather than a celebration of love between a talented African American man and his caring grandmother. Kudos to Jamie for sharing his talent and life story with us! Bridget Ingram.

Why were some names who responded given and others omitted? Including mine! As a Caucasian female grandmother and ECE professional and historian in the field, it's useful to know who's saying what. Responses to Jamie Foxx's acceptance speech were great to read and it's important that the persons who wrote them were identified. PS I strongly suspect your headline was seriously flawed. Jame Foxx did not promote whipping or corporal punishment. ER

I was directed to your site by someone in my internet chat group and this is my first time. The reference of Ms Rogers to a speech at an award show that was not about education reveals to me that, obviously, she has some very deeply imbedded personal issues that she should be working on before she damages a child with her misplaced sense of protecting abused children.
I think SHE is the abused child and she needs PTSD counseling, possibly WITH meds, for depression, OCD, panic or anxiety and other mental problems of adults who are PTSD survivors.
Now,how does it feel, Ms Rogers, to have a complete stranger tell YOU what YOU are and what YOU should be doing, saying, AND implicating that someone close to you abused you as a child and should be shamed that you are now in such bad shape as an adult.
This is your whipping (with love). Maybe you weren't raised right and its not your fault

Although I am not of the African/American culture I thought your commentary was thoughtless. My mother and countless of her generation used corporol punishment, they did it out of love. I thank God my mother taught me right from wrong. I thought it was insulting to Mr. Foxx's grandmother and his entire family to insinuate her methods were wrong. What gives anyone the right to judge another person who truly is not hurting a child. I never felt hurt or abused when I got a spanking. I felt ashamed I had done something wrong, what a great method of teaching me something. Although corporol punishment has no place in a center it is totally a family decision at home. Children are growing up not knowing right from wrong it is very sad for society.

Are you serious!!!! He talked about his grandmother with great pride. There is definitely a cultural aspect to this but what concerns me the most is that we are actually talking about this like it is a bad thing. Next thing you know we will start calling our grandparents terrorists. We need to relax as a society and stop interfering with EVERYTHING. I don't see Mr. Foxx as a bad role model even though his grandmother whipped him. His own parents probably whipped him too. Should not try and get to the bottom of the WHOLE story...NO!!! There are many different people out there with different cultures and different upbringings. The only ones we should try and police is our own. Compare American children with the rest of the world and then you will see what a horrible job we are doing here.

I am a 20 year veteran in the field of early education. I am also a preschool owner, African American, hold a Master's degree in Multicultural Education and am an well as an active NAEYC validator.
It is important to withhold cultural bias when evaluating Jamie Foxx's comments. His experiences are not unique and are shared by many African Americans but span ethnic and socioeconomic groups.
I do not agree with or endorse corporal punishment. At the same time I run an urban preschool that serves children who live in penthouses on the beach along with children who live in homeless shelters.
I choose not to respond to these matters. Instead I work to maintain educational integrity within a high quality that embraces diversity while promoting peace and kindness.
'nuff said-

What puzzles me about this whole issue is that where there is sexual abuse, we don't ban sex, where there is alcohol abuse we don't ban alcohol, where there is verbal abuse we don't ban speaking! Yet when there is physical abuse we condemn physical punishment in all its forms. We need to understand the difference and the need for effective discipline given in the context of loving and a supportive relationship. I would suggest that Jamie Foxx's Grandmother had it all together and that many parents would do well to follow her example.

What happen to "Respecting "Cultural differences? I am sure no African American (age thirty up) took offense. We know what he is talking about. Enough of the word games. A spanking is the same as a whipping.

Here we go again with generalizing a statement made by one person. I do agree that it was not the best idea to promote Jamie's grandmother's mode of discipline to a national audience. However, we should not attack the way this man was raised. With the knowledge that we now have of early childhood development, most of us realize that "whipping" children is not the most effective was of discipline.

Furthermore, Mr, Fox never promoted that others who are responsible for rearing their children should whip them. He just shared how he was raised. It is this man's right to believe that this was the best thing for him.

Personally, I do not believe that their should be no forms of corporal punishment. I believe that it has its place to a certain extent. I also do not believe that children who have been punished in this way will be permanently damaged for life even though there are some statistics that state otherwise. Most of these findings are... inconclusive.

But, this is my opinion, and as a american I believe that it is my right to believe this way. So please spare trying to horrify what Mr. Fox stated because I do see it causing any great damage, it's was just HIS testimony.

I have to agree with the majority of the postings that normal spanking/whipping in any culture was very common and most of us (including myself) seem to be the productive citizens of today. As an instructor in Early Childhood Education I definitely teach against the use of corporal punishment in disciplining our children but I don't think it was an issue from the speech of a celebrity who spoke of his grandmother with affection. However, I want to congratulate Exchange for printing these outspoken messages from readers. Thanks for your honesty.

Please do not judge Jamie Foxx for sharing his memories of his youth and his grandmother. Shame on you for trying to tell him how to word his feelings . I was raised by a german mother, she too believed in spanking etc.. That doesn't mean she was any less of a parent. I have her to thank for my morals and beliefs. Did I raise my children the same way. To a degree.BUT, I raised them with the thoughts of what worked for them. Mr.Foxx did use a teachable moment and include his young daughter in his success, how about giving him credit for that???

I was so offended by the article referring to Jamie Foxx that I sent my response to the author's website. This was Jamie Foxx’s moment to shine, not a time for him to represent any cause, especially when it is so rare for an African American actor to receive an Oscar. I feel that his speech was very honest and truthful and that he obviously had a very loving and kind grandmother who wanted to ensure that her grandchild knew how to behave properly in all situations. She obviously did a very good job and he obviously loves her very much. Leave the “making a stand” speeches for the White actors who so often receive this award. I am very aware that we all work with children and families, but I am also aware that we as African Americans have a very different perspective on how to raise our children. We were doing a much better job at it before others put their opinions and values on us as a people. Like Jamie, I too am thankful for a grandmother, grandfather, Father and Mother who “Whipped my butt” when I was wrong. He spoke from his heart. He was not promoting anything but love. Most of all, I thank God for Parents who still corrected me as an adult! Whipping me when I was young set the foundation for them to be able to talk to me, as an adult. My mother still corrects me when I am wrong and I feel she will always have that right. As a mother, I too have whipped my children when they were wrong. And now that they are young adults, we have a very close, loving and open relationship. The author should not have read more into Jamie's speech or feel that she needed to tell him "what he should have said". She had no right to say what or how he should discipline his daughter.

Jamie Foxx was making references on how his grandmother raised him during his childhood. He did not ask any parent to whip their child during his speech. So, why is this an issue? Jamie's grandmother use her own form of discipline that she was raised on. This happen to him only! We should not assumed that he was granting permission to all parents to whip thier child or children.

I am so glad that many people took the time to share their disappointment with the content of the March 8 newsletter. The first time I read the newsletter...I thought to myself....give me a break! If you really want to address abuse in the raising of children.....address those who abuse by FAILING TO USE ANY form of discipline in their homes. Jaimie Foxx's story came across to me as being full of respect for his grandmother. Obviously, the "whippin" he got wasn't out of rage and a power to abuse...but as others mentioned it was out of LOVE. Don't get so extreme that you fail to see the difference.

Our society's complulsion with norms, political correcteness and the quest to define 'the correct' everything (from weight to parenting to IQ) defies common sense. I am so glad the public responses reflect that common sense still lives!

As a Montessori teacher for over twenty years, I often think of Dr. Montessori's advocacy of freedom with responsibility. In my opinion, it is the last word, responsibility, that is so often lacking in our equation of child development. Our children need to learn and feel that they are responsible for the choices that they make. The fact that many children are no longer taught this is one of the reasons court dockets and jails are full to overflowing. Jamie Foxx's grandmother was disciplining him with love or he would never have such wonderful memories of her!

While I don't think Early (or later) childhood professionals should ever spank a child, I think in some circumstances it may be ok for a parent to. What is amazing to me is the number of parents who think spanking is cruel but who act as though degrading, belittling, and embarrassing a child are appropriate. I believe a swat on the behind is far less damaging than what I've overheard parents saying to their children at the grocery store or the movie theater.

Having been raised partially by a grandmother in the south too many years ago, I heard Jamie's comments on the news the next day. My first thought was "My, someone else who remembers their grandmother with consumate love for the discipline and director she administered." We in the education field sometimes go overboard in our zeal to make positive changes in young children's lives. The comments from Ms. Rodgers were exactly that. I have enjoyed the dialogue it has stirred up - and feel Childcare Exchange, while bearing the brunt of the volley, should be commended for the delivery of said comments. thanks,

I was quite pleased to hear of the responses to Jamie Foxx. I was raised by and wholeheartedly support the veiw of corporal punishment. My children were raised under the same veiw. We all come from a strong religious background. One has been married for 19 years and is a financial analyst, the other a coporate administrative director mother of 2, married 10 years to a security specialist with NSA. My other child is a long distance truck driver with 2 children. We all grew up in the (project). Drugs, unwanted pregnancies, prisons etc.were not a part of our home. My children and I today, (they've just entered their forties) all are part of a loving family. We believe coporal punshihment is a cultural thing and we are not ashamed to be a part of a culture that believes whipping for the right reasons is ok. This is not practiced nor approved of at my place of employment, but it's something I'm proud to have been raised on. To attempt to raise a child without understandable punismment for wrong doing is like sitting on a tight spring. One day you must get up, and when you do, you don't know where that spring is going to jump to. You just know it's going to jump.

My principles and ideas as an educator regarding Jamie Foxx speech will agree with all your reactions. I know how much damage we can cause a child when we hurt their little body in order to correct them from a bad choice. Personaly as a child I always prefered the one on one talking. When we think a bit deeper. We need all to agree that whipping may not have worked for a lot of children and is not a proper option of parents to correct their children. But we need all to understand that many other parents use it as a way to educate their children because they don't know a better way or were not expose to the other way of correcting a child. If he is reffering to his grandma this way that mean she was from the old school. Most of us also know that African American don't have that many options that we had. The only way to correct and control their child is by whipping because they are not aware of an other way to do so. As educator we should see it as a deeper problem not that I am supporting his speech. I am calling all educators to think and see what have we done for the African Amerian or other cultures that still believe that only by whipping their children they can save them from going to jail or adopt a drug habit and make them a respectful man. He in his speech reffer his grandmother as a teacher because maybe she was the only one who communicate to him share and set future dreams for him. Maybe the strategy was not approriate and still not the best but for him it work and cherish it and we need all to respect that and not react againts his words. Instead thinking on what can we do as educators to change this mentality in parents that we still have around in our center in our neigborhoods. Teaching them the best strategies to educate their children "our future leader".

When I read the blurb on Jamie Foxx and the whipping statement I closed the article and decided I would no longer subscribe to the online exchange. I have thought for a long time your spin on things of the day was outrageously "biased" and predictable and this proved it to me. Take me off your daily email list. The saving grace in all this was the flood of rational, well written responses from your readers. Way to speak up!

I am greatly concerned that a speech given to pay homage and respect to a grandmother who lovingly sacrificed to shape and mold his development was taken to the level of advocacy of physical discipline. It is clearly evident that we must broaden our cultural framework to include dialouge within our profession regarding appropriate discipline techniques. I was outraged that his acceptance speech was re-written in the article because he spoke from his unique experience and when has censorship become an acceptable strand in the fabric of American society. As an African American early childhood educator and administrator ,I strongly advocate for the use of positive guidance techniques for caregivers and parents. This is a clear case of comparing apples and oranges and it was neglectful for this depiction to occur in your well regarded publication. "Jamie Foxx is not an Early Childhood Professional

People go nuts reading too much into what is said . Give the guy the benefit of the doubt. How sad that sometimes everything is so picked apart. If you have nothing better to do with your self - get a life!!

As someone who works with "at-risk" teens, I begin to think that a slap somewhere in the youth that Foxx remembered saved heartache later on. We are a weird culture here in the U.S., so concerned with being "understanding" and "loving" of children that we end up being cruel to them. Hundreds of parents have lost control of their children and then turn to the courts asking for PINS petitions. A fine kettle of fish, if we need to use police force and judicial intervention to raise our own kids just because we thought disciplining them was cruel. Philosophy is great! It works on paper. What works on kids is something completely different. The proof: That Foxx felt the love of the one who disciplined him and never felt abused -- because discipline is not abuse. The proof: that today we have scores of teens, raised according to the best of your instructions, rebelling and being hauled into courts.

I, too, watched the Academy Awards night! My take on Jamie Foxx's reflection of childhood discipline methods used by his grandmother did not evoke angry feelings. I recall thinking that we should be grateful. We should be thankful for the "good news" at having been educated through decades of dealing with abusive discipline of a child, that "whipping", or any other form of corporal punishment, simply is not acceptable practice for disciplining a child. It would seem that Mr. Foxx is carrying with him the great love and nurturance that was provided him by his grandmother, in the absence of his own parents. In my opinion, this came across as the much stronger message. My interpretation of Mr. Foxx's statements were not that the Oscar should be awarded for whipping or any other form of physical punishment. I was left feeling comforted that most people no longer use physical force as a means to "teach" children! It is our job to continue to get the message out! Amen.

Jamie's speech, Ms. Rogers' response, and readers responses to both appears to have provided an opportunity for all of us to see the variety of cultural perspectives on spanking/whipping. Another reminder that we all come from so many viewpoints depending on our experience. Let's keep that in mind with any controversial topic. There is no one way to look on any event. 'Tis important to voice our differences. Namaste, an Irish Catholic female.

For crying out loud. More children should be so lucky to have a parent / grandparent who cared enough to do the hard work of properly raising a child. A "whipping" / spanking may not work for all parents, but it obviously worked for Jaimee Fox's family.

I think it is important to note that Jamie Fox's punishment came from a grandmother who sincerely loved him and wanted to help guide him -- who also told him exactly why she was punishing him and what she expected from him. I do not believe in the use of corporal punishment by ANY person who is not related to a child because as much as some people may think they truly love the child enough to punish him/her in this fashion I don't think most paid caregivers will actually be there for the child like Jamie Fox's grandmother 24/7 for the rest of his life (i.e. even in his dreams after her death).

I may be the first to bring this up and will boldly and proudly express my beliefs. Unfortunately society has strayed from the bibilical standpoint of discipline and I applaud parents (or grandparents) who stand on the firm foundation of godly discipline. As early childhood educators we also promote the importance of understanding cultural diversity and language differences. Whipping, spanking, whatever you want to call it, it seems clear to me that Mr. Foxx was grateful for his upbringing and the guidance he received as a child. Society has taken it to far, to accuse this grandmother of abuse without even knowing his entire story. We actually need more parents who will be bold enough to stand up for the needs of children and return to the biblical ways of discipline.

Though I do not condone spanking, give Jamie Foxx a break. He wasn't there as a representative of the early care and education field.He did not say "go whip your kids because they will be better off for it". I did not like his reference to whipping either, but I don't believe he was advocating for corporal punishment.

I understood the overall message he was trying to share. He thanked his grandmother for taking an interest in his life and wanted her to know that he made it.

It reminded me that children are influenced by many people in their families. As educators, we need to work with them to teach children.

We do not know if Jamie Foxx whips his children, but we do know that years ago many parents/grandparents thought that spanking a child was a way to discipline children. He could have said that his knuckles were cracked by some teacher in school who thought that was the best way to keep him in line.We know that happened in the past also. Today, we know that these methods may do more harm than good.

We understand that children need to be taught to live out life's lessons. It helps if we provide children with more guidance than punishment.

Jamie's grandmother may have spanked him ,but we also heard him say that she tried to teach him some of "life's lessons" about acting right.

With or without spanking, we have parents in all cultures who are struggling with raising respectful, kind and caring individual who as his grandmother said " know how to act right."

We have other celebrities out there that demonstrate negative behaviors. Charles Heston is a member of the NRA that advocates for assault weapons on the street. Because of his policies, ex-actor Arnold Schwartzenegger, governor of California,is doing more today to harm children and families than Jamie Foxx could ever do.

Let's focus on the real issues. The government is making policy and budget cuts in education, health and social programs that adversely affect children and families. Be outraged about that!


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Barbara Rogers' observations are absurd! I am a white woman (mother and grandmother) who understands that "whipping" refers to spanking not beating and/or abuse. There is a vast difference between spanking and abuse. Because most of today's parents "don't believe in spanking," we have far too many children growing up with no boundaries, no discipline, no guidelines and no understanding of taking responsibility for their behaviors or showing respect to their elders - or even to their peers. Jamie Foxx spoke from his heart and revealed a childhood of great love and sure guidance.

I grew up in middle America around people of all races. We were probably considered poor by most standards. I, too, experienced whippin's, beating, spankings, etc. We never used just one word for it. I also experienced discrimination because of my social status and the fact that I am a female. However, I have overcome and I am stronger for it. I am appalled that the “race card” is being played because Jamie happens to be a person of color. This forum, like many others, chooses to focus on things they believe “relevant” to their cause often times without the benefit of common sense – like looking at the entire context of a message/speech before nitpicking it to death.
I thought Jamie Fox’s speech was poignant and moving. I thought other speeches were inappropriate and vulgar. I do not seeing them being touted as improper and sending wrong messages to our children in this forum, even though they were. I belong to other forums (non-child related) and people are in “uproar” about other comments/slurs (from people of ALL races including white Americans and other nationalities) that they feel are “relevant” to them. Insensitivity abounds in our culture because we are free to speak our mind whether or not we use it first. It isn’t always about race. I agree this forum should concentrate on other issues.

I was too upset yesterday to write a response especially after reading the additional articles on the website of www.screamsfromchildhood.com.

These people including you (ChildCareExchange) have lost your minds – Jamie Foxx talked about HIS expereince and the VALUE he received from his grandmothers sheild of protection.
HE recognized HER love by establishing boundaries for HIM. NOT FOR ANYBODY ELSE! Jamie is one of the fortunate ones who had someone to care about WHO HE BECAME. And I'm very pissed that because he didn't SAY what other thought he should have said - has now has tarnished HIS character.

In case you are not aware of the difference - Disiplining and abuse are as opposite as water and dirt.

This article in particluar - Jamie Foxx remembers boyhood whippings, Correspondence between Donald T. and Jordan Riak re: Jamie Foxx's Oscar acceptance speech www.nospank.net - actually blames Jamie for the children that got abused following his speech.
How ridiculous is that!

I think that his speech showed love and respect for his grandmother. I didn't even see it as being cultural, that was the era. Children were taught to be respectful, yes children were spanked or whipped, but not in an abusive or violent way. I know that all corporal punishment such as spanking is abuse. But I think that you are reading way more into this and taking it literally to an extent.

I believe there is a difference in abusing your children and discipline them. I have spank my children or gave a whipping however I did not beat my children. And I only did this when nothing else work. My children know that I love them and if I had to spank them it was because it was needed. I was raised in south and I don't think I was abused by my mom. he I just knew if I didn't listen and I was warned by my mom I knew what would happen. Was I afraid of my mom. No way she had to do what needed to be done. She loved me.

How unfair for the author to criticize Jamie Foxx's remembrance of an obviously loving and beloved grandmother! The Southern culture, whether White or Black, has traditionally held much higher expectations for children's behavior, in public and private, than what it is generally seen on television or considered "PC" in today's world. Placing one's own value judgement on another culture is not only discriminatory, but one that educators worldwide talk a great deal about striving to prevent and overcome. Having been raised in that culture, I appalled today at how many families as well as professionals in the education field fail to provide basic discipline and firm boundaries for children to not only thrive and develop, but to also know that someone cares enough for them to hold them accountable for their actions. Discipline, including corporal punishment, does not equal abuse, and it is disheartening to see that so many prominent "experts" cannot see the difference.

This whole concept of 'whipping' is taken out of context. We knew when Jamie spoke of his upbringing; someone would change the flavor of what he actually meant. We knew 'someone' would use his statements as a means to increase the media's bottom line. By this I mean, sparking the interest of viewers to write their views, add their name to a mailing list, and hopefully purchase something in the future.

I believe that there are successful alternatives to physical discipline most of the time. However; I believe that a parent has the right and responsibility to determine what is best for their child. As for Jamie's speech, I feel that every word was stated with love and respect and he was simply giving an account of others in his life who had been instrumental in his emotional, physical, and spiritual growth. The key words that he spoke were "after she whipped me, she would talk to me and tell me why". Let's be less critical and appreciate the differences and the likeness in all of us.

I was spanked when I was a child, I spanked my child too. The intent is not to hurt but to teach them so that they may learn from it. People always make issues out of little things. Slave masters whipped, spanked and killed us. And nobody making any noise about that. So if people decide to spank their children then allow them to do so. We as advocates for children must observe, offer other positive redirections, classes or even anger management. We don't know what people aer dealing with unless we walk or live in their shoes. Some people just don't know and haven't been taught that there are other wasy of discipline. we must try to understand the world is totally different from then and now. I'm a successful business owner, wife, mother and college graduated all with being spanked(whipped) placed in the corner as a child. But I learned when mom and dad said don't do it, we DIDN'T.

I read your reference to Jamie Foxx's acceptance speach and I watched it when it aired. It brought back a memory to a time when I was growing up and It made me think too about getting a whipping. No it was not abuse, but it taught me a lesson. However now I see that the Exchange has seen fit to throw the first punch out over a seemingly emotional acceptance speech by just another son for his grandmother. I thought his speech was touching and his gratefulness to his grandmother a good reminder to children who may not see the importance of our upbringing until we are farther down the road and our grandparents are gone. Jamie Foxx's speech touched me and reminded me to let my children know the value of their grandparents not for punishment but for what they have to give us, their knowledge. Your option to throw that perspective (and not even consider an opposing perspective) shows me that you're not in touch with your readers. Critical Thinking and judgement over moral dilemnas should be considered well before yelling that the sky is falling and we all just took a step backwards! Speak for All, not just your favored, flavor of the month author. I am disappointed.

Jamie Foxx is an actor. He is not an early childhood specialist. Why are we, as a society, so concerned with the comments of a celebrity. This is a description of his childhood and not advice on corporal punishment. Let's not waste our time on this nonsense.

Debating something from what an actor(ress) said from Oscar night is unproductive and pretty much cover up on real issues. Debating issues from child rearing practices, punishment, discipline, and abuse (drug, physical, psychological) is something we should discuss. Where's the forum on that?

Unlike the author of the article, I heard reverence, humor, and respect for one's elder in Jammie's acceptance speech. It's limits, high expectations, and respect for self and family that helped Jammie get to this moment, and his thoughts touched my heart, as well as my children, who have also been raised with those values.

As a white child reared in the North, I was also whipped. I don't believe this is a cultural issue, as some of the readers have stated. I just believe that most children who grew up those years were whipped. I also realize that some 'professionals' don't believe in corporal punishment. I would challenge them to look at the lack of respect that we see in today's society and rethink their stand. While I do not believe in abusing a child, sometimes we do need to make them understand that certain things cause a punishment that is extremely uncomfortable.

Give me a break! Jamie Fox obviously adored his grandmother and never felt abused. There is a huge difference between spanking and child abuse. In the South, we call a spanking a 'whippin' and as a child from a family who 'whipped', I never felt anything but love from my parents, grandparents and aunts & uncles. Now, of course, as child care providers, we may not discipline with corporal punishment and as a parent and grandparent, I don't want teachers to do that part of my job, but please don't think it's anyone's business to tell me how to lovingly discipline my child!

I do believe that the speech was taken totally out of context. Being an black woman, I understand the notion of "home training", "acting right", "knowing how to act in the presence of white folk". I believe Foxx's grandmother was trying to teach him about life in the real world beyond his neigborhood and about the attitudes that others hold about people of different races. As far as corporal punishment, "spankings", "whippings". I personally do not believe in it but was myself "whipped" when I was younger. I believe in earlier years it was an acceptable way of punishment. Many people take a line out of the bible and misinterpret it. (Spare the rod, spoil the child). The "rod" I believe represents redirection. When we see our children heading down the wrong road it is our respnsibility to redirect them not hurt then physically or emotionally.

There is a great need in Early Childhood education to bring awareness of cultural differences. Different cultures have different expectations and ways of raising children. In all cultures parents, grandparents and guardians want what is best for their children. Jamie Foxx was raised by someone who truly loved him and wanted him to be the best person possible. There is a huge difference between being abused and spanking. The commentary on the previous post indicated to me that the person who wrote it has no idea of cultural differences and is not tolerant of diversity in education or "how to raise a child." Therefore, I believe that more training should become available to educators so that they can learn to respect and appreciate cultural differences.

Give me a break..let us think ..people starving all over the world..people dying in war..and we are putting emphasis on this..holy cow..take a look at respect levels and manners 50 years ago and todays child..now think who was right?!

I don't presume to judge Jamie Fox's "whipping" by his Grandmother, but as a child who was whipped with a belt I can only say that besides feeling humiliating, corporal punishment has the opposite of the desired effect; I was being taught to be more devious in not getting caught. It did not engender warm feelings toward my parents: it made me assume they thought angry physical acts were a way to solve certain problems. I am proud to say I didn't pass that legacy on to my children. I never hit them; All 3 turned out to be outstanding adults and parents who don't resort to whipping their children. I believe it will be a better world when children are not whipped and always know they are loved.

A parent spanking his/her child, no matter the culture, does deserve an Oscar. Mr. Foxx obviously has a great deal of respect for his grandmother. Too many children today are "spared the rod" by their parents who have in turn "spoiled the child." We wonder why children do not have respect for authority. The greatest authority figure in a child's life is the parent(s). If our society continues to denigrate that authority and shun spanking, we will continue to raise children with no respect for authority. I would dare say Mr. Foxx's grandmother taught him respect which kept him from experiencing real physical violence in the streets.

I think it's too bad that in a free country a person would be expected to "white wash" his history lest someone be offended. I am a white woman raised in the civil rights era and I, too, as a child was as Jamie Foxx described it "whipped" although we called it spanking. I never felt abused and did not abuse my own children. I am not an advocate of corporal punishment but I cannot change my own history by saying my father disciplined me with whatever the politically correct language is. No, he spanked me and I knew he loved me and only wanted the best for me and my life. Give Jamie a break and let him be who he is.

As a new parent, I observed that those children who
received consistency in terms of schedule, routine, and time outs for
unacceptable behavior were pleasures to be around - those who received
inconsistent begs to 'please behave' with no consequences, or who received
nothing but 'natural consequences for their behavior' which are far too
obscure for young children to comprehend, were unhappy, frustrated children
who seemed to delight in terrorizing both adults and other children. So I used time outs, followed by a long, cuddly discussion about exactly what
happened and why and that I love her very
much. I made sure that it ultimately turned into a
bonding moment for us.
Then, we hit about 2 1/2..... and tantrums.
A friend who raised
a particularly mature, pleasant and loving then-10-year-old suggested to me that
a swat or two on the bottom, when used very rarelyand
followed up with love and re-bonding gives children, as he put it, something new
to evaluate, and allows them to know that
you, in fact, are still and always in charge.
So, I tried it, and boy did that get
her attention! When she calmed down, we had a long conversation, and I think we really
bonded more in that moment than we perhaps ever had before that.

She is now 5 1/2 and I have given her bottom a spanking probably no more than 6
or 7 times total. I believe that all kids come out of the womb differently. Some are 'mellow' enough by nature that they'll never get to
that point that they need that. I have a kid who, I firmly believe, needed a few swats on the bottom as a young
child to bring her around, let her know her limits, and help allow her to become
the very self-confident, empathetic, benevolent, fair-minded, comical,
intelligent and loving child that she now is. If I hadn't, she and I would be spending a lot more
time in struggle and conflict than we now do.

Susan

I heard Jamie Foxx's speech. I thought it was one of the most sincere Oscar acceptance speeches I've heard - it came from the heart. As he spoke, I could certainly feel how much he love his grandmother and he thanked her for teaching him how to be a man. The comments that "whipping" is in humane - give me a break. Who the heck do they think they are? Those parents that do not believe in corporal punishment and use other methods of discipline, more power to you - but it doesn't work with ALL children. Some children need a "spanking" or "whipping" to get the message - this does not mean they have been abused. Anything carried too far - even time-out can be viewed as cruel and inhumane.

I agree with what others are saying. This was the fastest I've ever deleted anything from Child Care Exchange.com. When did our society lose our common sense? Initially I was disgusted by nitpicking someone's speech to death. Jamie Foxx did not condone child abuse. He was speaking his heart and talking about his loving experience with his grandma. Although I don't condone spanking, that was a part of his experience. It was not like he was saying, "Hey everyone! Go and beat your children!" And to interpret it in that was is absolutely absurd!

After further thought, I saw that what people are saying about this being another way to put African Americans at a disadvantage, I agree. As a white woman I can see how people in the right wing and elsewhere can use this as another way to squash people of color.

While Child Care Exchange is claiming no association with what was posted on the daily exchange, I find that this is just a poor excuse. I'm sure that they would not submit something about a controversial stance on politics or criticize the war, so why post this one? To bring about an exchange of ideas or to further themselves in this pro-racist mentality? Kudos for backtracking on the issue and encouraging people to read the backlash. But really, it is too little, too late.

Re: Jamie Foxx "controversy," as a parent of 3 children who have never been spanked and a pre-school teacher, I also watched Foxx's speech, with my 9-year-old, and we were EXTREMELY moved by his heart-felt words. NEVER did it cross my mind that he was alluding to child abuse. In the southern black dialect, a "whippin'" most likely means an old-fashioned spanking--the kind MOST our grandma's occasionally used!! I think people that have been offended by the use of the word "whipping" ought to see the bigger picture. He was talking about LOVE and APPRECIATION!! Sometimes being politically correct can go a little too far, for crying out loud!! And speaking of being politically correct, these people complaining about his speech ought to be careful of their assumption that Foxx was abused. Hmm. . .a black man from the South, NOT middle-American, wins an Oscar and gets picked apart by seemingly moral and good people for talking about how he was raised. Food for thought. If your organization intends on being PC and fair, please make sure you're examining the racial slant here. And by the way, my 9-year-old and 14-year-old were appalled by the hype over Foxx's speech. My 9-year-old said, "He won best actor AND best speech." LIGHTEN UP and celebrate the love in this man's heart. PLEASE don't distribute anymore theories of promoting child abuse against him. Wow, what a judgement call!

How dare you criticize that man's experience and upbrining. I have not heard you are any other European American take this stand when it comes to speaking out about the brutal beatings and murder of millions of African's (slaves) at the hands of men. Never once have you written articles about how appauled you are about the unfair way racism (today) affects children's identity and leads to poor self-images and self esteem CRITICAL ELEMENTS OF DEVELOPMENT. I was spanked as a child too! I am a productive Administrator that provides early childhood providers and families with information to guide children but I would never tell them that culturally they are wrong to spank their child.

His Grandmother did what she knew to do! She knew that in order to survive in this country she had to mold her grandson into the an image (standard) that "white folks" deemed as civil and not savage. How dare you criticize either of them for that. He loved her and she him, he turned out to be a wonderful productive citizen isn't that enough for you. How many more hoops does he or (African Americans) need to jump through for you to accept them as whole/complete individuals? Couldn't you have been happy for him and his accomplishments without finding a way to undermine him/them? Is he not good enough yet to play in your yard? YOU NEED TO SERIOUSLY EXAMINE YOUR OWN BIASES THAT CAUSED YOU TO PUT OUT THIS EMAIL!

I did not like the Jamie Foxx commentary. Corporal punishment, or whipping as it's referred to in some cultures, is not inhumane. It is not physical abuse in the context that he referred to it. It is discipline and it is supported in the bible and by many people as an appropriate form of discipline when used in that context.

Though corporal punishment is definitely not the preferred method, Jamie Foxx has every right to speak honestly from his past without being PC'd to death. And, he doesn't look the worse for wear....

I expect part your today's message was intended to provoke readers to reply. I do not hold actors to the standard that their acceptance speech must be driven by high social conscience I think it is culturally insensitive to criticize Jamie's speech in any way. I would guess a white person wrote that article. Black people have used "whipping" to discipline. It is a cultural belief. I think we can assume Jamie does not nor would whip his daughter. What about the fact a grandmother raised him? He could also have spewed on about how this country ignores the challenges grandmothers face raising grandchildren.

Could have. Should have.

Jamie's speech was tender, personal, and appropriate. His performance and his talents deserve to be recognized. His contribution toward improving the self-image of black people can not be measured.

Although I do not condone the speech made by Jamie Foxx, nor do I concern myself with the mindless rambling of a celebrity. Please don't waste my time discussing what a celebrity should or should not have said during a speech that I really wasn't interested in watching in the first place. Use the daily exchange to discuss important topics related to early childhood.

When I heard his acceptance speech, I did not think that he was advocating whipping children. He was recalling the road he took to get him to the place where he is now and how his grandmother played such an important part of his life. It would be nice for every person who is on TV to advocate against physical violence against humans and even animals but realistically, that doesn't happen and only when the situation present itself do people speak out against violence. It would be great for every athlete, actor, politician and so on to speak up against violence every time they are in front of a camera but it just doesn't happen. Are you targeting one actor who at an awards ceremony while accepting his award did not advocate against physical violence?

Great response to the irresponsible remarks of Jamie Foxx. I would hope you would send that excellent reply to every newspaper and have it put on Letters to the Editor - especially to the New York Times, Washington Post etc. That work needs to follow on the heels of his reprehensible remarks. It would also help to get to folks on the air like O-Reilly or others on Fox who so the
news well.

I would appreciate it if you would share the following extract from a proposed reader for high school graduates (Caribbean examinations Council) which gives a Caribbean perspective on discipline. It is as follows:

”My father never beat me unless you could call once with a popsicle stick beating when my sister howled. My mother only beat me but four times, quite cruelly - fainting the last time with me uttering not a whimper. I attended a pre-school or Froebel early childhood education sister where the Principal was committed to play, self-discipline and low ratios adult to children. At the play school of Winnie Hunter, daughter of an Englishwomen and coloured Guyanese scholar, the then Governor asked for the privilege of taking a picture with children of all six races registered in this school. At our primary school where there was no such commitment, I was only beaten once when my eight year old eyes worn out by reading surreptitiously "Lady Chatterley's lover" and the "Kaywana Trilogy", from grandmother's books in grandfather's cabinet, my grades fell because I needed spectacles. Our Secondary School, founded by English tutors who sat 500 girls down in Hindu fashion in a large wooden hall for assembly, too, was committed to self-discipline as the only form of discipline. So my only memories of discipline there was standing maybe twice one hour facing the wall silently or twice copying lines. Up to adulthood, I never had a friend, except for one or two cousins (who were beaten irregularly) from my family, who was beaten at home except on one or two occasions if ever, except for one (also beaten irregularly).”

To add on to the above, what I understand from the slave, colonial and post colonial history and society of the African Americans where Blacks would forever function as a demographic minority, like all Africans in the New World, they had to be "broken" if not they could not survive much less develop. The Times they are a'changing but like for my mom, referred to above, who I cherish and adore, although I forgave her beatings around age 40 - even if I say she was wrong to have beaten me for just those four times, I know that community pressure and her own fears and in one instance, I seem to remember, her anger at my truthfulness and the shame it caused her forced her into beating me for these minimum of times and I was one of the best of children.

Why do people always read something else into what is said? Mr. Foxx neither recommended nor condemned whipping--he just related how he was raised! Stop making mountains out of molehills!

I rarely ever reply to messages -- but somehow this one struck a chord and since this listserv is goes to hundreds of folk around the country, I really did feel it important to offer additional perspective. I think the subject-line of the email and the inferences that have been drawn about "whipping being promoted" is misleading. In reflecting on the speech (I saw it), it was clear to me that Jamie was reflecting on how he interpreted the meaning of how his grandmother showed her love/concern for him. Many people don't fully understand the sternness of the how some African Americans approach parenting because they have not had to live with the challenges that confront parenting African American children -- especially those who parent boys. Absent having lived this experience, I can appreciate that it would be hard to understand the fondness that Jamie Foxx used (as opposed to in the moment talking about what she did as wrong) to talk about how much it meant to him to have someone in his life who wanted to make sure he became something that countered what many people thought possible for young Black man.

I value and appreciate the importance of thinking about positive approaches to discipline. I am challenged by the fact that this statement has been taken out of context and that others are being judgmental without seeking to understand the full context of the message he rendered. This approach shuts down, as opposed to opens up, opportunities for dialogue on an issue where there are many strong feelings.

It's too bad that people just don't understand cultures. What Jamie Foxx shared during the Oscar was from his heart and it was a part of his cultural upbringing. Why should he be criticized for expressing who he is/was (culturally)? I really don't think that his speech is against children. There are so many children who are getting spanked for bad behaviors. White people use the term spank and we use the word whipping - okay - there is no difference. If a certain culture chooses to discipline their children with spanking/whipping and you choose not to, does that mean that you are right? You really have to learn about cultural competency and being culturally sensitive. The "When" of culture is so deep that it influences the "Why", "How", and "What" of culture. Jamie's family was more than likely raised in the South where they had to not speak up to White's who were in authority. So to save her children/grandchildren, she did what needed to be done so that the Whites wouldn't beat or kill them. (Same today with the police.) This could be an era that you or your family are not familiar with. You have to know or at least be knowledgeable of the history (WHEN) of culture for the African Americans/Blacks/Negro.... Nevertheless, I love Jamie's honesty and his relationship with his grandmother. I don't think what he said affected children who are being abused today. His speech did not reflect an abusive situation, but a form of discipline - depending upon your culture. I would love to debate this into further details. It's so sad that when an African American/Black brother arise, he has to deal with American politics which is only Institutionalized Racism.

I was one of the millions who was thrilled that Jamie Foxx won the Oscar for Best Actor for his portrayal of Ray Charles. I cheered when Julia Roberts called his name and watched his face when he gave his acceptance speech. I also saw his face when he talked about his grandmother and her whippings. That he spoke of it before family, friends and a huge portion of the world, means he remembers it very clearly and that he sees it now as a way to get him to be that gentleman. The interview with Barbara Walters showed him as a gentle and caring dad and person.

Before we get all bothered about his choice of words, however, I think we should be clear (ask Mr. Foxx) about what he means by whipping. He was from the south and the term whipping may not be as brutal and painful as it sounds to us today. As a New Englander whose correction
experiences tended toward silence and denial rather than physical punishment and who lived in the south from age 11 to 22, I recall that what I would call a spanking was referred to as a whipping by some of my friends. We can't be sure what Jamie experienced unless someone asks him to explain.

Far more terrible and something that should be said about "Ray" is not only Jamie Foxx's experiences as a child in Florida in the 1970s, but also the experiences of Ray Charles in the years of Jim Crow - that is what educators should remember and comment on as well. In this 50th anniversary of Brown v. Board of Education (which I remember clearly on May 17, 1954 in Florida), I also remember the violence of those who spit on little children only because they were walking to a school that had previously served only white children.

When I read Barbara Rodger's clip on what Jamie Foxx said about "whipping,” it made me furious. Not of his content but of Barbara’s. She completely took everything out of context and only heard what she wanted to, and it was an insult to Jamie. She doesn't understand that our parents, long ago, raised their children the best they knew how. There wasn't parenting classes or books that they had time to read. Times were different and hard, but look at the achievement Jamie has made. And where in his speech did he say, "Whip your kids cause it is right". NOWHERE! I can't believe Child Care Exchange would have this in your magazine. And you
promote world forums on early education and parent advocacy? When someone (Barbara Rodgers) has something to say, you need to hear what her words are saying to everyone, from all cultures and eras. I do not promote spanking (another word for whipping depending on the hand or switch) and I try to present to our parents that discipline is teaching , a new way to respond to a behavior, action, and how to redirect etc. but I don't criticize them for the way their parents raised them and if they use punitive punishment I try to help them see a better way.

Get real. Jamie Foxx described a grandmother who showered him with love and attention. Many of us come from cultures where a child got an occasional spanking. Let's not confuse this with abuse and violence. Can we do better? Sure. But thank G-d for those parents who love(d) their kids enough to set firm limits.

Child abuse is certainly an important topic, worthy of our attention. Regardless of the issue at hand, however, let's not put celebrities in the role of spokesperson for any topic that they may inadvertently cross. To rewrite Mr. Foxx's comments, and say what he should have expressed really doesn't help prevent child abuse. It only serves to pass judgment on the loving relationship he was trying to convey. He was spanked by his grandmother, but she cared enough to talk to him. That's what I heard. Certainly, no one could reasonably conclude that he was promoting abuse. A poor choice of words on his part? Perhaps, but it was an emotional moment relating to his acting career, not a planned statement to a group of parents on appropriate discipline techniques.

Our culture believes in whipping and so does yours. You just call it spanking! I too was raised like this. I think because your culture is different doesn't mean that you are the expert. It shows that you are not culturally sensitive to other cultures values and beliefs. This can be a great controversy!

Thank you for speaking up. I do hope that someone will forward this to Jamie Foxx. I do not think he thought about the implications, nor do I think (I certainly do not want to believe) he was consciously advocating whipping.

As an African American woman and one who was similarly both loved and disciplined by a grandmother who was much like Jamie Foxx's, please do not use your cultural lens and frame of reference to distort his memories or his message. WE know, even if you don't, that our grandmother's NEVER, EVER, tried to hurt us or abuse us. The word whipping is akin to spanking and even if that's not your approach please do not dare try to take away from his glory by making this a cause or an issue for him.

This message disturbs me greatly. It is taken out the context of his life. When did advice about raising children matter from an actor's point of view? I take issue with your discussing this. And, having grown up with parents that 'whipped,' I felt more cared for and loved and understood that I see many children who come to school with tremendous scars from emotional abuse. Maybe you should give a caveat to some things shared via this method, and not make assumptions in this
manner.

Oh please...who takes these COMEDIANS seriously anyway? If you are going to make a big deal out of this statement, let’s talk about how Chris Rock disrespected our President of the United States. Just for the record, my dad "whipped" me plenty of times and I’m a fine adult. Have I used corporal punishment on my child? No. I expect more from Child Care Exchange than this ridiculous editorial on what a comedian would say during the academy awards!

I strongly disagree with this person's response to Jamie Foxx's speech. While spanking should not be an option nor promoted in any way by responsible childcare professionals, it is this reactionary stance that calls our profession into suspicion. That an educated professional cannot tell the difference between an abused child and a child who was simply spanked is ridiculous.

Spanking is silly. It demonstrates that an adult lacks the skills to apply better methods to assist children to develop self-control. But the effort to criminalize it is ridiculous, harmful and unconscionable. It has put a wall between caregivers and their clients, as parents can hardly trust in their provider relationship to ASK for help crafting new and better strategies, as this may result in judgment and a call to CPS (which can ruin a family if the investigator is not discreet and reasonable). Removing a child from a trusted and loving parent is simply not better than the occasional smack on the butt.

I also believe emotional neglect can be more harmful that a spank. A whuppin' is generational. Parents had larger families, less safeguards, and did not have the support of childcare for respite. The main objective was to keep a child alive and out of prison until adulthood. By any means necessary.

Mr. Foxx is an outstanding talent and appears to be a quality person. His grandmother's method is not my choice for my children or any children. It may not have felt like a choice to her, either. She is not present to defend herself. Let's remember we are educators. We exist to support families. When people make a mistake, let's help them up and dust them off, and praise them for all they do that is right.