Shop by Topic
Shop by Product
ExchangeEveryDay Past Issues
<< Previous Issue
| View Past Issues | | Next Issue >> 
Tiger Mom Controversy
February 10, 2011
Learning to eat well and develop a relationship with food is about much more than food.
-Carol Garboden Murray, Illuminating Care
-Carol Garboden Murray, Illuminating Care
Last week a reporter from Swiss TV called Exchange for an interview about American reactions to Yale Law School professor Amy Chua's new book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. So I decided I better do a bit of research. And indeed the reaction has been strong and varied. But to set the context for the debate, here are some excerpts from the book as published in the Wall Street Journal (January 8, 2011)
"A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it's like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I've done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:
"...Despite our squeamishness about cultural stereotypes, there are tons of studies out there showing marked and quantifiable differences between Chinese and Westerners when it comes to parenting. In one study of 50 Western American mothers and 48 Chinese immigrant mothers, almost 70% of the Western mothers said either that 'stressing academic success is not good for children' or that 'parents need to foster the idea that learning is fun.' By contrast, roughly 0% of the Chinese mothers felt the same way. Instead, the vast majority of the Chinese mothers said that they believe their children can be 'the best' students, that 'academic achievement reflects successful parenting,' and that if children did not excel at school then there was 'a problem' and parents 'were not doing their job.'
"...What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at it. To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences. This often requires fortitude on the part of the parents because the child will resist; things are always hardest at the beginning, which is where Western parents tend to give up. But if done properly, the Chinese strategy produces a virtuous circle. Tenacious practice, practice, practice is crucial for excellence; rote repetition is underrated in America. Once a child starts to excel at something — whether it's math, piano, pitching, or ballet — he or she gets praise, admiration, and satisfaction. This builds confidence and makes the once not-fun activity fun. This in turn makes it easier for the parent to get the child to work even more.
"...Chinese parents can order their kids to get straight As. Western parents can only ask their kids to try their best. Chinese parents can say, 'You're lazy. All your classmates are getting ahead of you.' By contrast, Western parents have to struggle with their own conflicted feelings about achievement, and try to persuade themselves that they're not disappointed about how their kids turned out."
A Personal Journey to save 20% on Teaching Four-Year-Olds |
|
|
What does every young child need to be a well-adjusted, happy person? From Carol Hillman's years of experience and wisdom comes the answer: Help each child discover a world where play, creative freedom, self trust, and personal responsibility open the child's mind and heart to the excitement of learning and the enjoyment of sharing it with others.|
Enter coupon code "FOUR" when at checkout.
 Offer valid through June 9, 2020 at 11:59 pm Pacific Time. |
ExchangeEveryDay
Delivered five days a week containing news, success stories, solutions, trend reports, and much more.
What is ExchangeEveryDay?
ExchangeEveryDay is the official electronic newsletter for Exchange Press. It is delivered five days a week containing news stories, success stories, solutions, trend reports, and much more.
Are you frustrated by your current childcare software vendor? Discover all the advantages of EZ-CARE2 and save up to 75%! Learn more by visiting:
Comments (23)
Displaying 5 of 23 Comments [ View all ]United States
I saw Amy Chua interviewed. She said that her philosophy worked fine with her first daughter who was complacent and followed rules. With her younger daughter she had to rethink and revamp her philosophy as her younger daughter did not follow rules, questioned everything and rebelled.
Having been raised by parents with a Western view of child-raising, I find Ms. Chua's methods harsh. Her outcomes may be "perfect" but the journey not at all enjoyable. I've been in the early education field for 30 years and have seen many theories come and go; each as a reaction to the previous one. I believe a balanced approach to work and play with a healthy dose of "time and place" learning achieves a life well-lived by both parent and child. Too much rigidity prevents the development of critical thinking skills, creativity, and problem solving skills.
As Vygotsky believed we are products of our culture, and each one is different with differing needs.
Orange county community college
middletown, ny, United States
I think I feel very sorry for Ms. Chua's children. Her description of teaching Lulu how to play a particular piano piece was very disturbing. Seemingly with pride she states that their house became "a war zone." Usually in a war zone their are casualities. Her treatment of her child boarders on being abusive. What she might have taught her daughter ( as they were in the same bed, hugging and snuggling) is that it's OK to love the people who abuse, demean, and torture you. That's not OK.
Anchorage, United States
"Nothing's fun unless you excel at it?" Really? My family agrees that I'm a lousy piano player, but I love music and love playing. True, it may not be fun for my listeners however...."
Palm Desert, United States
While I agree that perhaps we in the US don't push our children for academic success, it is not because we are confused or squeamish about doing so. At least not for me. I want my child to be successful in school and in life. But more than that, I want him to have a happy life and to enjoy his childhood. I don't want to ban school plays, sleep overs, play days in the park or even trying something and failing at it. He tried the violin for six months and even his teacher told me to let him give it up. So, if in order for him to be a "math whiz" I have to push him and hold him to unreachable standards and never praise his effort over his accomplishments, I don't want him to be a math whiz. I did not give him life to decide how he should live it. I gave him life so that he could enjoy what it means to be fully human.
Westchester Community College
Valhalla, NY, United States
I find it disturbing that you are supporting all the recent publicity that Ms. Chue has received. While it may be true that 0% of Chinese mothers ascribe to Western childrearing philosophy I would wonder if the majority of them interact with their children in this way or if Ms. Chue is idiosyncratic.
Your article suggests that these methods are OK because it is their cultre. Her children live in a bi-cultural environment and are exposed to diverse values. If they were in China and all children were reared in this manner perhaps there would be no conflict. I hope you do not want your readers to think it is acceptable to raise academic success by such measures.
Yesterday you documented a program in Florida that permits high school graduates to enter the child care profession as head teachers. Your use of quotations around the words "good news" implies that you are being facetious; however, some of my colleugues concluded that you were promoting this route. I certainly hope not. Child care is a demanding profession and even though I teach in a 2 yr. college I do not believe that students are adequately prepared for the complexities of the responsibilities they will encounter.
What is happening at Exchange? I am disappointed.
Post a Comment