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I saw Amy Chua interviewed. She said that her philosophy worked fine with her first daughter who was complacent and followed rules. With her younger daughter she had to rethink and revamp her philosophy as her younger daughter did not follow rules, questioned everything and rebelled.

Having been raised by parents with a Western view of child-raising, I find Ms. Chua's methods harsh. Her outcomes may be "perfect" but the journey not at all enjoyable. I've been in the early education field for 30 years and have seen many theories come and go; each as a reaction to the previous one. I believe a balanced approach to work and play with a healthy dose of "time and place" learning achieves a life well-lived by both parent and child. Too much rigidity prevents the development of critical thinking skills, creativity, and problem solving skills.

As Vygotsky believed we are products of our culture, and each one is different with differing needs.

I think I feel very sorry for Ms. Chua's children. Her description of teaching Lulu how to play a particular piano piece was very disturbing. Seemingly with pride she states that their house became "a war zone." Usually in a war zone their are casualities. Her treatment of her child boarders on being abusive. What she might have taught her daughter ( as they were in the same bed, hugging and snuggling) is that it's OK to love the people who abuse, demean, and torture you. That's not OK.

"Nothing's fun unless you excel at it?" Really? My family agrees that I'm a lousy piano player, but I love music and love playing. True, it may not be fun for my listeners however...."

While I agree that perhaps we in the US don't push our children for academic success, it is not because we are confused or squeamish about doing so. At least not for me. I want my child to be successful in school and in life. But more than that, I want him to have a happy life and to enjoy his childhood. I don't want to ban school plays, sleep overs, play days in the park or even trying something and failing at it. He tried the violin for six months and even his teacher told me to let him give it up. So, if in order for him to be a "math whiz" I have to push him and hold him to unreachable standards and never praise his effort over his accomplishments, I don't want him to be a math whiz. I did not give him life to decide how he should live it. I gave him life so that he could enjoy what it means to be fully human.

I find it disturbing that you are supporting all the recent publicity that Ms. Chue has received. While it may be true that 0% of Chinese mothers ascribe to Western childrearing philosophy I would wonder if the majority of them interact with their children in this way or if Ms. Chue is idiosyncratic.
Your article suggests that these methods are OK because it is their cultre. Her children live in a bi-cultural environment and are exposed to diverse values. If they were in China and all children were reared in this manner perhaps there would be no conflict. I hope you do not want your readers to think it is acceptable to raise academic success by such measures.
Yesterday you documented a program in Florida that permits high school graduates to enter the child care profession as head teachers. Your use of quotations around the words "good news" implies that you are being facetious; however, some of my colleugues concluded that you were promoting this route. I certainly hope not. Child care is a demanding profession and even though I teach in a 2 yr. college I do not believe that students are adequately prepared for the complexities of the responsibilities they will encounter.
What is happening at Exchange? I am disappointed.

There are some great political and cultural differences between China and the US. China has had a totalitarian government for many decades. They have been told what to do, to think, and to believe. Being a controlling parent fits into that philosophy. In the US we have a history and a philosophy of individual choice and personal independence. The idea of not giving my children choices is unacceptable to me. What if her children were gifted in dance or theater? She would never know that - or care, apparently. We raise children to think for themselves. Teachers often refer to children making "good choices." Is she going to make choices for hers all their lives? How will they ever learn to make them for themselves?

There is a reason I was not a "tiger mom." I am a human, not a tiger.

@Naomi - I think you may have a misunderstanding of the "fun" thing. How about we use words like "stimulating", "exploratory", and "playful"?

Your statement makes the assumption that anything "fun" must be easy. This is certainly not the case. Furthermore, research has shown that when children play and explore on their own, they are more likely to stick to something than if they are just "told" how to or even worse, just "told" to.

Yes, we can have expectations of behavior, like being respectful, and giving of effort. But the expectation of results tends alternatingly breed short term success, futility, and disaster. Quite often, the kids who succeed under the iron fist, would have succeeded ANYWAY, in ANY system. We must keep this in mind.

I think it shows a gross misunderstanding of play when we assume that it means "frivolous" and "fleeting".

Finally, I will add that the inclusion of SOME part of a child's day involving just that, frivolous and fleeting, can be extremely beneficial, especially for the so-called ADHD epidemic.

Although I do not believe that parents should make demeaning remarks to their children, I do believe we, as a society, have gotten way off base with wanting everything our children do to be fun. I have been teaching since 1963 and have seen many changes in education over the years. However, the constant is that the children who do best in school are the children whose parents value education and hard work and have high (though not unrealistic) expectations of their children. We do our children a great disservice when we let them grow up thinking that everything must be fun and if they don't enjoy it they can quit.

I am so thankful to read the comments to this article, because otherwise I might have had a brief period of doubting what I have promoted during over 30 years of teaching and nurturing both young children and other adults who teach and nurture the children. Play is the young child's work - it builds curiosity, creativity and a zeal for learning that can last a lifetime. Play can definitely help to build resilience at an early age and strengthen the protective factors that give the child the motivation to press on through difficulties (be it at school, home, or other environment. Those who guide children through their play experiences, help them learn to "whistle while they work" and take a "spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down." They do that by modeling that role and inspiring children in a positive way. Yes, they set limits and give children the security of abiding by those limits so that children have a better sense of safety to take the "safe risks" needed in learning and applying oneself.
I still remember the words of an early childhood professional from China who said she always loved coming to the United States because we provided a great variety of preschool settings to help meet the needs of the many varieties of children, as opposed to her own country, where the early childhood environment was much more regimented.

@Gina:

I am sure your children are successful and also happy and well adjusted - so this is not a personal attack. But we also have to look at the fact that straight A's are not necessarily a reliable predictor of career success. Things like resilience, adaptability, and persistence are. These qualities are better, it would seem from the available research, built from opportunities for play, not just "expectations" and "work ethic". Certainly some ability to regiment oneself is part of the equation, but it is certainly not the whole picture. And expectations do not always yield results. The fact is that many parents expect straight A's and are very strict with their children - but those children do not get straight A's.

Western parents don't have to be Chinese to insist their children try their hardest in school. They need to be diligent. It can be done. Our kids all made straight A's all the way through school, because we made homework and school, reading and math a PRIORITY in our home, not TV and Computer games.

We are all different and does thinks diffrently. I live in USA but came from Denmark and our look on things are so comeplete oppesites. One is no better than the other but you go with what you know. My thoughts about the chinese culture are that they take honor, not to think of oneself and responcibility for your community and the part you play in it very seriously.
We westerners put "I" first and respect the indevidual - The right to say NO.
But somewhere we lost our parental skills. Our children became our friends that we talk to about thing - ask their opinion, we want them to like us (all the time) because we want the short time we are together to be positive. Oh! TIME..... I think thats our problem.
We need to go back and spend more qualified time with our children and be "The Parent". Have a little more structure in our lifes, set down some guidlines for ourself and our children. Homework time, dinner time, time for chores, time for family fun. We need to strees education and be avalible to help and guide our children through the school system. WE need to teach our children basic manners, the basic of ethics, streets smarts - the way of the world with out using fear tactics and they need to know basic social skills - they need to know the importance of treating all people with respect and ask for the same in return.

My Dad sent me this article when it first came out along with WSJ's follow up article with some of the many comments received. We lived in Hong Hong for many years and were very familiar with this Chinese example of education expectations. It sometimes clashed for my friends attending the International School. Very sadly, one of my classmates ended his life when he went to college in the US.

The updated article said the Tiger Mom article has received the most responses ever in the history of the WSJ - at that time 4,000 comments on wsj.com and around 100,000 on facebook. Ms Chua responded to the questions http://blogs.wsj.com/ideas-market/2011/01/13/the-tiger-mother-responds-to-readers

There have been numerous other interviews and articles, and if you google "wall street journal tiger mom" you can read some of them.

Chinese suicide rates are among the highest in the world, followed by Japan.

Asian-American women ages 15-24 have the highest suicide rate of women in any race or ethnic group in that age group. Resource: Push to achieve tied to suicide in Asian-American women

From article:
"Push to Achieve Tied to Suicide in Asian-American Women"
May 16, 2007|By Elizabeth Cohen CNN

Well, first let me say that her purported approach flies in the face of ALL credible research on optimal conditions for children. Centuries of research, and mounds of data, speak to the need for play in children's lives. And she justifies this by comparing it to the opposite extreme? I notice that she shied away from comparisons to balanced parenting - this is telling.

I have a Ph.D. from Georgetown and run a large national project. I was also allowed playtime and got plenty of affection that was NOT tied to my performance - my parents made it a point when I messed up to let me know that they loved me regardless but just thought I could do better. I also had expectations based on me as an individual. They also worked toward helping me find strategies to become more successful on my own.

Secondly, she ignores the fact that affluence (which she has in spades) also breeds opportunity. Furthermore, affluent educated parents confer upon a child a myriad of factors that influence later performance.

Third, her talks all but ignore the fact that her husband feels differently - so it's not like her daughters received ONLY tiger parenting. So I find her "proof" a bit disingenuous

Fourth, we have to look at the higher suicide rates in Asia, especially among girls, that appears to be associated with this type of pressure on children.

This reminds me a great deal of the tennis world, where parents hold up "success stories" of grand slam winners as an excuse to browbeat children in to "becoming" prodigies (as if this should be our goal), while they ignore the thousand burnout cases for every champion.

The fact is, this is a highly driven, psychologically damaged woman engaging in practices that were born of a pathologically disparate society should be recognized. Extreme parenting in any direction is by definition a pathology, and should not be tolerated as any benchmark for success - because en masse, it is NOT. Finally, we MUST come to the realization that superficial benchmarks for success do not mean that a person is wholly happy or even productive. Creativity and flexibility are integral parts of innovation as well as social responsibility and meaningful relationships. Regimentation and rigidity are benchmarks of people that can produce a ton of widgets when told to, and also individuals who cannot cope with loss or failure (both of which are impossible to avoid during a lifetime). Which do we want our society to be made up of?

I would be curious to see how the overall picture pans out for the Western and Chinese cultures... besides just work and acheivement, how happy and content are children, and eventually adults, of both groups? This article only tells half the story and I wonder how the 'entire self' grows up and thinks for both cultures? I believe that happiness is more important than being "successful" (as there are various ways to describe the term 'success'), and if the Chinese are both very smart, successful and happy, then maybe Westerners do need to re-evalutate the way children are raised.

While much of what Tiger Mom says goes against my grain, I do agree with one particular premise she offers. Many parents in the American culture appear almost afraid to place expectations upon their children. I am speaking of basic skills, such as dressing one self, eating with utensils or using the toilet. I have had 5 year old children (without development delays) wearing pullups because they didn't want to use the toilet and the parent did not want to upset them. Parents are surprised when they learn their three year old child is capable of using the spoon and fork. Unless we set a legitimate level of expectations for children we cheat them out of the opportunity to grow.

What a condescending article! Your assumption is by having children take responibility for themselves they will fail and we are bad parents. I have fun at many things I am not good at! If we must stress "work" then I contend that play is a child's work. Let's discuss suicide rates and the una- bomber who was an A student who was very disciplined. Let's see if any one culture (Chinese, American, or any other one) is void of alcoholism, learning disabilities, mental illness etc. One size fits all parenting and teaching makes children into assembly line cars. Many of our politicians think this way and that is why education change is so slow. I am disappointed that this was presented this way.

Judy Metzger
Fredonia, NY

The author and her husband are both academically successful, highly educated professionals. She doesn't even think about the idea that not every child is capable of earning As in every subject. By definition, not every child can get the highest grade in the class. Whether she likes it or not, there is differentiation in ability among children. Putting such pressure on children who cannot deliver the expected results is not only unfair, it is cruel.

That having been said, many parents have diminished expectations and allow their children to make many decisions that should be made by adults - for example, whether or not to do homework. If our profession more widely shared developmental milestones and the need for play with the general population, more people would have more realistic expectations for their children.

This lady is the Asian version of the helicopter mom - always hovering - not allowing children to learn to negotiate, solve problems, make choices. Children need a middle ground between total permissiveness and overparenting.

(Personal note - My four children were raised with the expectations of earning a college degree, and they all did; one of them is actually using it sort of close to the field in which it was earned. If any of them had shown signs of not being able to achieve this, the expecations would have been altered to fit the ability of the child.)

There is so much in this excerpt that contradicts what I have learned and observed over 23 years at an early childhood educator and mother of two young adults (who certainly worked hard to achieve what they have accomplished) that I am literally gasping for air. The fact this particular mother's approach is given so much publicity will encourage parents who aren't well versed in child development to embrace the same style of parenting. Where is the social development in this style, compassionfor others, interpersonal problem solving and ability to work cooperatively?

I saw the tiger mom on television a few weeks ago and what she said to a very broad audience contradicted the value of play in early childhood and all of its benefits in becoming a successful,inquisitive and compassionate adult.
Scary!!!

I am an Asian Mom and I think my kids excel by being the best that they can be. I encourage each child to compete with himself and not with others as the latter can lead to unhealthy feelings e.g envy. It seems to be working.

This article will certainly bring out the conflicted and antagonist attitudes held by advocates of cultural diversity and support. Time to walk the talk?