ExchangeEveryDay Past Issues

Having worked in our public school system and childcare for many years ( yes licensed) it breaks my heart that in the classroom, the ratios are so wrong and ineffective for the well-being of these children, behavior issues or not, I have seen kids that literally acted like a different child in a much smaller group setting, public schools have limited monies, but daycares use the unfair ratios from state mandates, and hire only the teachers required, and worse, parents don't seem to be concerned that it's a puppy mill scenario, distressing so that I can't work in that anymore, when it's notated what the parents are paying ,it's even more distressing for the unfairness to the child

I've read many of the posts here and I'm blown away by the thought that preschool/early childhood has lost it's focus on what's expected of a 3 and or 4 year child.
First, and foremost, it is not the job of the ECC/preschool to raise someone's child. It is the parents responsibility...period.
We can come alongside the parents and "help" them but we are not responsible for their "raising." And, to be quite frank, I would be fit to be tied if someone other than me and my husband thought they were responsible for raising my own children. How absurd to think we must be the end all to a youngsters behavior and lack of discipline within the walls of a ECC/preschool.
The problem I see, and struggle with, in our own ECC, is that many of the children coming in the doors now are much more likely to be undisciplined, unruly and think they are not deserving of any sort of consequence for ill behavior. Well, let me back up. It's the parents that believe this about their children and the children pick up on that attitude and therefore, many times, we have no recourse when a behavior issue comes up. Why? Because many parents have the same attitude..." it's not my fault, no one told me, I've never heard of this, why do you have so many rules, I have a job and I cannot come pick up my sick or undisciplined child, this is stupid, you're mean, you're standards are too high, what did the other child do, does your staff come to work sick, why do I have to pay a late fee, can you not give me a break on tuition, I'm a single parent and there's nothing I can do, we don't have consequences in our house, I don't read thermometers and if you want to know if they have a temp you can take it yourself, I pay you good money to deal with my child, I'm going to report you, I'm going to smear you on social media" and the quotes go on and on.
Since when is the ECC/preschool business the dumping ground for everyone's problems and "issues?" Coud it be that many believe that ECC employees are uneducated and therefore unable to determine real issues and concerns when young children display nightmarish attitudes and behavior? Maybe people think that because child care is looked upon as "glorified babysitting" that we deserve what we get walking through our doors? We just need to "suck it up, Buttercup" and deal with the fact our job is nothing more than playing with children all day! :) Could it be that parents have the attitude that, "we pay you good money to take care of my child and that means dealing with their undisciplined, bad attitude, rude/disrespectful behavior!!" Or, perhaps, ECC has made it easier for parents to be part time parents and full time friends to their children because we have their children more waking hours than the parents do. Therefore, parents can pick their little ones up, after 10-12 hours of child care for the day and go home, fix dinner, or drop by McDonald's for dinner, bathe them-maybe, and send them to bed before the sun goes down because afterall, mommy and daddy have had a long day at work and they're pooped? All of these attitudes and beliefs are real and we in the ECC business hear it all day long...ok, maybe just weekly. Whatever!
Also, since when should it be okay for sick children to attend daycare? I don't know many owners that hire a medical team to determine illness nor do many have sick rooms where their ventilation system is seperate from the rest of the building. Also, few to none have a call in staff to run a sick room when parents decide to be honest and actually say their child is sick! Oh wait! They wouldn't need to be a "call in" staff because sick children walk in our doors all day, yes, all day every day! Sad thing is most are never reported as ill. And, you want to know what else? The children are rehearsed to not anwser questions in regards to taking medicine, vomiting, etc!! Parents have no idea how many children break a confidence and spill the beans about the "red medicine" mommy gave them before they got to "school" for the day. Oh, and don't tell them your vomited all night because mommy has an important meeting today and I can't miss work! Yes, litlte preschoolers spill the ugly truth all day long. And, then when we call the parents and ask them to come pick up their sick one, the parents actually have the gall to call their precious ones, "Liars!"
And, we advertise as a large group child care center. The definition of "large" is:on a great scale. The definition of "group" is: a number of persons. We don't hide the fact we offer group care. We don't pretend to offer one on one care-most parents couldn't afford that price tag! So, why do parents believe and insist that we spend one on one time with their one and only? Ya' know, the one that throws chairs, spits, screams cuss words, kicks/hits/scratches/bites, steals, breaks things, bolts out of classrooms, etc....ya' know...THAT CHILD? I don't have the answer but from some of the comments, some of you feel that we just need to "deal" and move along.
I was once told by a "friend" and I use that term loosly, she is a 4th grade GT teacher by the way, she says, "You just take your job too seriously and good grief, you're just a daycare. How hard can that be?" Easy for her to say because my goodness, those GT kids are not even in school for 8 hours a day and oh yeah, she gets 2-21/2 months off in the summer, 2 weeks off at Christmas, a week at Thanksgiving, a week of Spring Break and then there are all those random days in which school is not in session. She must be so overworked that she wasn't thinking straight when she shot me down, right?
Now, let's see: We are closed, other than weekends, 11 days out of the year. We are open for 12 hours a day, Monday through Friday and every one of those 12 hours are spent with 60-70% of children. Meaning that that many children stay from open to close!
No, sick children do not belong in child care. No, we cannot always accomdate a special need because sometimes we simply cannot meet the needs of that particular child and then if we try we are then robbing the rest of the children. I know that sounds cruel but it's not, It's just the truth. I'm very open about the fact we will try to accomodate but when the safety or care of the other children or even that particular child cannot be met, we are not doing our job. And, certainly not doing our job well. Plus, the sanity of our employees is also a huge consideration. They work hard, long hours and they are only human, not robots, and therefore can only take so much on within a given classroom of children.
No, it's not our job to change your child. No, it's not our job to 'suck it up and deal." No, it's not our job to raise both you and your children. No, it's not okay for you, parent, to not speak when spoken to. No, it's not okay for your to think you're above the standards and policies of my business.
All of this to say, I love what I do. I love that we can make a positive impact on the lives of many, both young and old. But, after 20 years of serving in this industry, my eyes are wide open to the fact that a huge population of parents and their children think the world literally revolves around them. Many do not believe in any form of discipline. Many believe we are here to serve and remain quiet. Many believe that being on gov't subsidy is a reward and not a priviledge-nor do many strive to make it on their own once they start receiving benefits. So, they lie and don't report second incomes or a marriage so that the gov't can continue to be responsible for their tuition, food, etc. Attitudes have changed and they have not changed for the better. It's very sad and yes, at times, very maddening.
If we're so important to the working parent, then act like it. Treat us with respect. Don't try and push sick germs off on everyone else because you're selfish. Don't ignore policies/rules. Don't sneak in the back door when tuition is owed. Please don't expect us to 'deal" with your unruly, undisciplined child because you're selfish and perhaps too lazy to send them well behaved from the get go. Don't expect special treatment when there is not one on one care offered- that only takes away from what we offer, group care. Don't not help us help you!
End of rant....

There are always two sides to every story.
My daughter is currently teaching 3-4 year olds in a state-run preschool and has a youngster (age 4) who is more than a "handful". This child spits, screams, bites, throws chairs, calls my daughter a "bitch" and tells her "f-you" on a daily basis. He's 4! She comes home each night not only frustrated with the slowness of the system, but with bite marks from this child. Her safety and the safety of the other children in class (who, by the way, are being denied their education because of this child's disruptive behavior) is apparently not enough to make the wheels turn any faster. I understand children may have unseen issues, but it is not fair to the teacher or the other students in the class to be faced with this every single day.

I have a three year old son that has some disabilities and they gave me two week to find another daycare to go just because they don't have enough learning to work with him he has adhd and autistic

my son's pre-school called me today and gave me a two week notice for my son. She stated that he is too hard to handle in a class with 20 other kids- He is not violent nor aggressive. His LCSW clinical impression is that he has Apergers Syndrome. Can they kick him out of school for that? and what are some advocate resources I can use?