ExchangeEveryDay Past Issues

Having worked in our public school system and childcare for many years ( yes licensed) it breaks my heart that in the classroom, the ratios are so wrong and ineffective for the well-being of these children, behavior issues or not, I have seen kids that literally acted like a different child in a much smaller group setting, public schools have limited monies, but daycares use the unfair ratios from state mandates, and hire only the teachers required, and worse, parents don't seem to be concerned that it's a puppy mill scenario, distressing so that I can't work in that anymore, when it's notated what the parents are paying ,it's even more distressing for the unfairness to the child

I've read many of the posts here and I'm blown away by the thought that preschool/early childhood has lost it's focus on what's expected of a 3 and or 4 year child.
First, and foremost, it is not the job of the ECC/preschool to raise someone's child. It is the parents responsibility...period.
We can come alongside the parents and "help" them but we are not responsible for their "raising." And, to be quite frank, I would be fit to be tied if someone other than me and my husband thought they were responsible for raising my own children. How absurd to think we must be the end all to a youngsters behavior and lack of discipline within the walls of a ECC/preschool.
The problem I see, and struggle with, in our own ECC, is that many of the children coming in the doors now are much more likely to be undisciplined, unruly and think they are not deserving of any sort of consequence for ill behavior. Well, let me back up. It's the parents that believe this about their children and the children pick up on that attitude and therefore, many times, we have no recourse when a behavior issue comes up. Why? Because many parents have the same attitude..." it's not my fault, no one told me, I've never heard of this, why do you have so many rules, I have a job and I cannot come pick up my sick or undisciplined child, this is stupid, you're mean, you're standards are too high, what did the other child do, does your staff come to work sick, why do I have to pay a late fee, can you not give me a break on tuition, I'm a single parent and there's nothing I can do, we don't have consequences in our house, I don't read thermometers and if you want to know if they have a temp you can take it yourself, I pay you good money to deal with my child, I'm going to report you, I'm going to smear you on social media" and the quotes go on and on.
Since when is the ECC/preschool business the dumping ground for everyone's problems and "issues?" Coud it be that many believe that ECC employees are uneducated and therefore unable to determine real issues and concerns when young children display nightmarish attitudes and behavior? Maybe people think that because child care is looked upon as "glorified babysitting" that we deserve what we get walking through our doors? We just need to "suck it up, Buttercup" and deal with the fact our job is nothing more than playing with children all day! :) Could it be that parents have the attitude that, "we pay you good money to take care of my child and that means dealing with their undisciplined, bad attitude, rude/disrespectful behavior!!" Or, perhaps, ECC has made it easier for parents to be part time parents and full time friends to their children because we have their children more waking hours than the parents do. Therefore, parents can pick their little ones up, after 10-12 hours of child care for the day and go home, fix dinner, or drop by McDonald's for dinner, bathe them-maybe, and send them to bed before the sun goes down because afterall, mommy and daddy have had a long day at work and they're pooped? All of these attitudes and beliefs are real and we in the ECC business hear it all day long...ok, maybe just weekly. Whatever!
Also, since when should it be okay for sick children to attend daycare? I don't know many owners that hire a medical team to determine illness nor do many have sick rooms where their ventilation system is seperate from the rest of the building. Also, few to none have a call in staff to run a sick room when parents decide to be honest and actually say their child is sick! Oh wait! They wouldn't need to be a "call in" staff because sick children walk in our doors all day, yes, all day every day! Sad thing is most are never reported as ill. And, you want to know what else? The children are rehearsed to not anwser questions in regards to taking medicine, vomiting, etc!! Parents have no idea how many children break a confidence and spill the beans about the "red medicine" mommy gave them before they got to "school" for the day. Oh, and don't tell them your vomited all night because mommy has an important meeting today and I can't miss work! Yes, litlte preschoolers spill the ugly truth all day long. And, then when we call the parents and ask them to come pick up their sick one, the parents actually have the gall to call their precious ones, "Liars!"
And, we advertise as a large group child care center. The definition of "large" is:on a great scale. The definition of "group" is: a number of persons. We don't hide the fact we offer group care. We don't pretend to offer one on one care-most parents couldn't afford that price tag! So, why do parents believe and insist that we spend one on one time with their one and only? Ya' know, the one that throws chairs, spits, screams cuss words, kicks/hits/scratches/bites, steals, breaks things, bolts out of classrooms, etc....ya' know...THAT CHILD? I don't have the answer but from some of the comments, some of you feel that we just need to "deal" and move along.
I was once told by a "friend" and I use that term loosly, she is a 4th grade GT teacher by the way, she says, "You just take your job too seriously and good grief, you're just a daycare. How hard can that be?" Easy for her to say because my goodness, those GT kids are not even in school for 8 hours a day and oh yeah, she gets 2-21/2 months off in the summer, 2 weeks off at Christmas, a week at Thanksgiving, a week of Spring Break and then there are all those random days in which school is not in session. She must be so overworked that she wasn't thinking straight when she shot me down, right?
Now, let's see: We are closed, other than weekends, 11 days out of the year. We are open for 12 hours a day, Monday through Friday and every one of those 12 hours are spent with 60-70% of children. Meaning that that many children stay from open to close!
No, sick children do not belong in child care. No, we cannot always accomdate a special need because sometimes we simply cannot meet the needs of that particular child and then if we try we are then robbing the rest of the children. I know that sounds cruel but it's not, It's just the truth. I'm very open about the fact we will try to accomodate but when the safety or care of the other children or even that particular child cannot be met, we are not doing our job. And, certainly not doing our job well. Plus, the sanity of our employees is also a huge consideration. They work hard, long hours and they are only human, not robots, and therefore can only take so much on within a given classroom of children.
No, it's not our job to change your child. No, it's not our job to 'suck it up and deal." No, it's not our job to raise both you and your children. No, it's not okay for you, parent, to not speak when spoken to. No, it's not okay for your to think you're above the standards and policies of my business.
All of this to say, I love what I do. I love that we can make a positive impact on the lives of many, both young and old. But, after 20 years of serving in this industry, my eyes are wide open to the fact that a huge population of parents and their children think the world literally revolves around them. Many do not believe in any form of discipline. Many believe we are here to serve and remain quiet. Many believe that being on gov't subsidy is a reward and not a priviledge-nor do many strive to make it on their own once they start receiving benefits. So, they lie and don't report second incomes or a marriage so that the gov't can continue to be responsible for their tuition, food, etc. Attitudes have changed and they have not changed for the better. It's very sad and yes, at times, very maddening.
If we're so important to the working parent, then act like it. Treat us with respect. Don't try and push sick germs off on everyone else because you're selfish. Don't ignore policies/rules. Don't sneak in the back door when tuition is owed. Please don't expect us to 'deal" with your unruly, undisciplined child because you're selfish and perhaps too lazy to send them well behaved from the get go. Don't expect special treatment when there is not one on one care offered- that only takes away from what we offer, group care. Don't not help us help you!
End of rant....

There are always two sides to every story.
My daughter is currently teaching 3-4 year olds in a state-run preschool and has a youngster (age 4) who is more than a "handful". This child spits, screams, bites, throws chairs, calls my daughter a "bitch" and tells her "f-you" on a daily basis. He's 4! She comes home each night not only frustrated with the slowness of the system, but with bite marks from this child. Her safety and the safety of the other children in class (who, by the way, are being denied their education because of this child's disruptive behavior) is apparently not enough to make the wheels turn any faster. I understand children may have unseen issues, but it is not fair to the teacher or the other students in the class to be faced with this every single day.

I have a three year old son that has some disabilities and they gave me two week to find another daycare to go just because they don't have enough learning to work with him he has adhd and autistic

my son's pre-school called me today and gave me a two week notice for my son. She stated that he is too hard to handle in a class with 20 other kids- He is not violent nor aggressive. His LCSW clinical impression is that he has Apergers Syndrome. Can they kick him out of school for that? and what are some advocate resources I can use?

I raised my eyebrow when i first heard of this issue but i've found its quite the popular issue and quite a few things to learn about it, including causes and what to do about it.
http://pre-kteachingtools.com/article2/?cat=4

I am a Preschool teacher in a large school district. Children who display "extreme" behavior and are chronically disruptive should be given a fair shot at being allowed to remain in the program. Working with parents on useful techniques and stratagies should be explored and given careful consideration. All efforts should be given a sincere attempt. I had a student who was so disruptive that he had to be asked to leave the program. He would growl like a bear at the top of his lungs at naptime, throw chairs across the classroom, headbut his mom, hit, punch, kick the teaching staff and use profanity. He would also run away from the teachers into the school parking lot. He, the other students and staff wer not safe as long as he remained in the program. We referred him to a program that was able to accomodate special needs students. I hope he will get the intervention and services he so despirately needs.

Being an Early Childhood Professional I made a decision to remove my son from a Metro Pre-k department and place him back in daycare. I felt as though the teachers were not equipped to handle this age group and lacked developmentally appropriate practices. I received a note stating my son had a bad day and I asked him why did he have a bad day and he stated "We have to sit on the carpet all day and that's not fun." I had a meeting with the teacher and she informed me that this was true. I could not believe it.

I do agree much with what Linda has posted. When a child has sudden outburst, throwing toys around the room and bully the other children in the classroom at 4 and 5 years old; this is not PERFECTLY NORMAL. There are some children with true behavorial issues and in the case that I had to encounter it was a mixture of the parents TOTALLY NOT DISCIPLING their child. This child had NO BOUNDARIES and had full run of his home. So, yes, I had to expell him until the parents had him evaluated. Even the child's grandmother told the parents that they (the entire family) needed couseling. However, I did not expell him without giving the parents resources and tools so that they can start doing what is best for their child. This child had been in my program 6 months and it wasn't getting any better.

I am shocked by some of the responses to this very important issue. "Hooray for Drugs" and "WAIT UNTIL THE LAW REQUIRES SCHOOLING" are you people for real? How do you expect children to learn appropriate behaviors if you drug them or keep them out of social learning situations? I have a M.A. in Developmental and Child Pschology and my doctoral work is in Behavior Analysis and Modification. It is apparent to me that both of you need more education on dealing with some of the chalenging behaviors children have that are PERFECTLY NORMAL!
Good luck to all those beautiful children that you reject, hopefully they find a soft place to fall.

We do need to consider whether we can give the individual child what he or she needs to succeed. A child who needs constant supervision may be beyond the school's ability to service. Unfortunately, we can't think just about what the individual child needs; we must be practical about whether we can provide it. The child should be able to be in a preschool program, but not every program is going to be able to support his or her development. We also need to look at what happens to the other children in the class, if one teacher must give all her time to one child. When we can do this, we should. But we need to acknowledge that we must be able to really give the services required.

We are seeing more and more children and families in need of extra services. Developmentally appropriate expectations and practice only go so far. Smaller group sizes and lower ratios help in many cases but not all. Many children, even with an ITA are not able to function in a group setting. For many it is nature and for many it is nurture.

Millions to study a couple hundred children is ok. But until we really invest in the children this will continue to become more of a problem.

The true cost of high quality Educational Child Care is about 3 times what the public or private payers are willing to spend.

We do not do this for the money, But we sure need the money in order to do this.

Funding direct service is the first and best choice. Give the money to the programs for group size and ratio reduction, staff retention, program enhancement and we will see a system better able to serve the children and families.

In reading the response swhere they state it's your "job". Keep in mind that raising your child to be successful in school and life begins prior to the age of 3 and 4. While parents quickly point the finger and say you should be qualified, you should know how to stop a behavior - what are they doing at home to build character and to curtail the behavior. For one the boundaries set at home is as long as Route 66. Problem #1 and most likely the root. They are your children, not your best friends. Teachers, providers and mentors are an extension of your family. Don't exhaust the heck out of them for a problem you allowed to get out of control. Expelling is a wake up call!

PRE-SCHOOL IS VOLUNTARY IN MY STATE, NOT MANDATORY. MANY 3 AND 4 YEAR OLDS ARE BEING TREATED LIKE INFANTS BY PARENTS, BUT WANT THEM IN A LEARNING ENVIRONMENT. PLACING YOUR CHILD IN A LEARNING ENVIRONMENT COMES WITH SOME EXPECTATIONS OF THE CHILD, NOT TO MENTION THE PARENTS. IF YOU AND YOUR CHILD ARE NOT READY FOR STRUCTURED GUIDELINES AND RULES. BOTH SHOULD WAIT UNTIL THE LAW REQUIRES SCHOOLING;ALLOWING BOTH THE PARENT AND CHILD TO RID THEMSELVES OF ATTACHMENT AND BEHAVIORAL ISSUES. I FIND THAT THE PARENTS ARE THE ROOT OF THE ISSUES NOT THE CHILD(REN).

To "PAT SMITH" who says "Hooray for Drugs" I really resent that. I also question your credibility. Obviously, you do not have "a lot of education" as you state. For an abundance of education would enlighten you enough to research as opposed to inquiring. I sincerely hope that you are not an educator. You obviously want a Stepford Wife lifestyle for children. It is impossible.
People like you are the reason that parents are so distressed. You should seriously reconsider your occupation if you are, in fact, a teacher or parent. I feel sorry for the children who encounter you. I will be on the look out for your name in the field. Trust me.

As a principal of a state-funded pre-K program I have come to believe that we must provide both teachers and parents of "behaviorally-challenged" children with "joint training". Both groups desperately need both child development and behavior change theory/strategies in order to hope to guide and change these children's behavior before they enter elementary school.

I just finished a research paper on this subject. It is very interesting to take apart the reasons for the expulsion rates. The biggest problem seems to be the lack of consistency in the content of training teachers receive and the level of access to mental health consultants.

Teachers in ECE just don't get paid enough to have to shoulder the burden of difficult children without adequate training and resources.

I am in the prosess of developing a curriculum that will help us solve this problem!

Appropriate expectations for child and teacher, documentation, observation, and consistent and constant parent/teacher communication can often lead to success when dealing with challenging behavior. Albeit, sometimes slow progress. We sure do expect a lot of our teachers that are typically underpaid, lacking professional education and experience, and stressed out! We have an obligation to offer a place that's safe for all kids. All kids have a right to be there, not just those with or even without behavior issues!

I have over 30 experience in the field, and I acknowledge that there are some children who need to be expelled from early learning settings for inappropriate behavior. Having said that, I also believe that this practice happens much, much too often, usually without any real effort to make it work for everyone involved. We are sending the message that we are giving up on very young children because they're not worth the effort. We are also sending the message that reasonable accomodations to help a child be successful are too much trouble. I often conduct classroom observations of children of concern, and I have seen teachers and directors behave in ways that I consider abusive towards children who challenge them. Children do not come into the world hardwired with impulse control, tolerance of frustration, social skills, etc., and yet they are expected to be able to behave appropriately with only a few years of life experience under their little belts. Children are being labeled, treated poorly and kicked out, but there is no accountability for the staff whose bad attitudes and poor behavior made the situation worse. When children are expelled from one program after another before they even start school, is it any wonder that some of them feel so helpless, hopeless and worthless that they pull out shotguns in the play yard when they are 12?

my pholosaphy use to be that you couldn't set a child up for success by expelling them from preschool, then I met a differnt kind of child. The family had done all they could and so had the teachers. I was finally at the point of loosing a teacher who was making positive impacts on so many children but being burnt out becasue of this one. I learned that we are not the center for every child. We can not fulfill every need. Government needs to intervien and finally open their eyes to the importance of E.C. Give the chidlren not only beutiful equipment but educated teachers and resouces for the social problems we are seeing more and more of. If a family is receiving social services make them take a parenting class in order to receive their services. In every government waiting room the T.V.'s with talk shows need to be turned off and parenting infromation needs to be turned on. Most people want more information they are just imbaresed to admit it and few really know where to go find what they need when it comes to parenting skills

I am a child and family mental health professional working in a day treatment program. With societies changes in parenting, socioeconomic challenges, and a decrease in services available, all children are becoming more at risk for presenting challenging behaviors. The increase of subtance abuse - drugs and alcohol while the child is in utero as well as the influence and role models children have as media and technology expression of violence and crude behaviors have increased have also taken great impact on our children. Children need good role models and positive healthy parents. The best time to develop good behavior is between the ages of Birth to age 7. Many services are funded from seven and up instead of looking at prevention in the early years. More group planning with the parents and a mental health specialists would be a good step to assisting existing problems with children acting out in harmful ways. Is there a mental health consultant available in your area to do some planning on parenting information or coming in to view the child? Many times meeting with the special education services in your area, a mental health agent, and the parent can be the best for making a plan to help the child make positive gains in healthy social behavioral development.

Children thrive in some centers and others do not. We have students who have been to numerous other centers and did not do well, they come to ours and thrive. We also have had to request students to leave and in one case have found the child is doing great at another center. This particular child would hit teachers and fellow students, swear, expose himself, spit on people and run out of the center (he was 4 at the time). His mother finally realized there was a problem and enrolled him in another center where, she says, he is doing great. Sometimes its the atmosphere or the influence of other's negative behavior and not the child.

I have had two children in the recent weeks. Both school age. One threw chairs at my staff. The other just did not want to play at her center anymore and ripped up the teachers arms with her finger nails. Both have mental illness in the family, we only find out about that when this happens. Both children's mothers have bipolar disorder. Neither one believes in consistant corrections because they themselves are so emotional that they feel guilty and over compensate. Therefore we have spoiled, possible mental children. We are a child care that relies on CCMS to survive and both of these children are funded threw CCMS. State says we should kick out the children. But if we kicked out all the problem kids we would not survive. Unfortunely, the more we spend our time on the nutty children the less we do to educate the calm ones or do fun activities with the well behaved children. Then the benefit of preschool or child care is lost to the renegade who took over the day. Its a hard balance for those of us who are trying to serve those who really need the care & education. Somedays it is a war zone. A little support from the public school sector would be nice.

Sorry to repeat myself! Thought the first comment did not post.

After exhausting every approach to modifying a particular student's behavior (tantrums, refusing to co-operate with teachers and children, screaming, hitting), and asking for parental support and guidance with no response, they were asked to leave the center. That was the first time in 35 years of teaching that I did that, and it was not without sleepless nights and much prayer. There are just times when it is best to remove a child from the scene!

After trying every approach to changing a particular student's behavior (tantrums, refusing to co-operate with teachers and children, hitting, screaming), and asking for partent support and guidance without response, the student was asked to leave the center. That was the first time in 35 years of teaching that I have done that, and it was not without sleepless nights and much prayer. There are just times when it is best for everyone--teachers and students, to remove a child from the scene!

i think you might want to look at each individual case by keeping a log of antecedents, behaviors, and consequences, document frequency of incidents etc. recently I had a little one who was being tested on various medications and it truly left the poor kid in a totally different zone. I went to bat for her (with my fantastic assistant) to keep her enrolled even when some of the behaviors towards others escalated. The parent is young herself and we have had 2 sad opportunities to report the parent to social services--so while i am not going to bad mouth the young parent, I am going to ask myself what else i can do for THIS child. i hear the song about wages--heck i am half done with a Masters in ECC & Sp. Ed K-12 and my kids make more than I do...but does that make THIS child's situation any different? IN other words, if I made $100 per hour would I be a better provider for THIS kid? (Shame on any one who answered yes! Consider a different job!) There but for the grace of God go I or one of my own kids...teachers may not take an oath, but I think there is an unwritten law that we will go the distance even just for one child...I still advocate for smaller class size, better pay and benefits, but I don't take my frustration out on the kids by not providing them exceptional service every day...which brings me to the behavior...there is ALWAYS a reason for how they behave and there is ALWAYS a way to change it--some things need time, some need meds, some need a hug...act like that child is the oNLY one in your world or that they are the "golden"child--betcha you will find SOME way to deal effectively with him or her. Remember you may not FIX the kid; but you may be the catalyst for change later in their lives. Most importantly--NO ONE IS DISPOSABLE (regardless of what planned parenthood may advocate)

Have you noticed how many children have special needs, austism, ADD, ADHD don't you wonder why? And please do not tell me genetics. Genetically autism would not change from 1 - 10,000 to 1 - 300. And do not tell me we are just better at diagnosing. There is something wrong with this picture and care givers and teachers are getting the short end. Parents too. What in our world is causing this. Can it be shots, frankenfood, pollution? Something has to be done because I would want those children out of my classroom also and I have a lot of experience and education. Remember in the school they just drug them. Hooray for DRUGS.

On occasions where teachers have suggested that a child be transitioned to a program that is more “suitable”; I find it helpful to approach the subject by asking. “If you believe that you provide the highest quality early care and education experience for families; then how can we suggest that another “unknown” program/school could provide a better opportunity for the child who is apparently in great need of a high quality program?” If teachers reflect on their strengths and administrators provide support in accessing resources then every family can be served as they deserve.

HRS/DCF whatever it is called in each state need sto allow the good parents like me and others to raise our children similar to how we were raised and stay out of our lives and get the bad people whom can not raise children who are actually labeled all abusers need to be supervised until further notice (10 to 20 or more years). Example: a former parent of mine is a sexual offender, her child at the age of 1 rolled her eyes at me, spit in my face and turn away in a ver snobbish mannerism. This particular child not only did it to me, but other adults and children. Yet, as a good provider/teacher I am the one that received the bad report from a social worker. The parent was very bias and prejudice towards the other children in my care by making negative comments while threatening to spank them if they hit, bit and even thought of pushing her child. So, kicking out these children with bad behavior - yes I am in favor for it, beacuse they learned this behavior from the one closest to them.

My thoughts are just this: my son has a disability and has been kicked out of two preschools (LaPetite and YMCA programs) because ihe was picked upon by other children and he stood up for himself by hitting back. Today, I operate a licensed home child care and I was told exactly this from my licensing specialist she did not know how I managed or maintained my dignity with my children not taking naps, throw fits including hitting other children, bullying other children and while I stay up late every night until 12:00 midnight to clean and do my paperwork after i attend my evening classes for m bachelor's degree. I am exhausted. Do my childrne act this way at their houses, yes, they do and their parents ignore them when they do all the above. Teh parents today spend less time with their children while we providers/teachers are raising these children by teaching them to read, write and especially manners along with good behaviors. Yes! I tell the parents, when they act out good or bad, the parents need to know. The K-12 teachers tell it like it is good or bad, so we preschool teachers/providers need to tell it like it is. If not, our future children are going to go down the wrong path, not because of me, because of lack of good parenting skills and spending the quality time with their children. Parents are very selfish today and bring their chidlren to chidl care because they have headaches or hang overs or want to go out with their boyfirends or husbands some place during the day instead of spending a good soild quality day with their child, (this does not jsut include Monday through Friday, this also includes the weekends). Young children are being raised by us child care teachers/providers. Our pay needs to be that of the public school district teachers wages with union protection along with health benefits, etc.

This is an area that my staff and myself take very seriously. We do not release a child from our center unless several criteria are met. Many have stated the same things that we are concerned with such as where this child has been prior to our care.

I document, document, conference, recommend services, do all the proper "techniques, take classes, get mentoring, offer "special time", but when all this fails, we have to let the child go.

Usually the "release" comes, not from the child being out of control, but no backing from the parent. If the parent refuses to "get on board" and join the team effort, we cannot possibly help their child get ready for school. Many times we have seen changes in behavior when the child realizes that mom and dad are "respecting" the teachers and following up on appropriate or not appropriate behaviors at the center.

The director that mentioned the grieving process after a child leaves. This is very true. Sometimes when we exhaust all we have, it is time to see if there is something better for the child.

Yesterday, a 15 year old that we "raised" stopped by the center. He was out riding his bicycle in the neighborhood. He wanted to say hello and let us know he is still around. Let me tell you, this guy kept us on our toes. He started as a very young child and he was enrolled in our after school program until 5th grade. We have stories!! He came up to me, put his arm around me, and said, Mrs. Marianne, I know I was the worst kid you ever had" and then he laughed, "but you and Mrs. Pam made me who I am today. I am doing good now!" Makes you want to cry--tears of joy!

All we can do is pray and use our God given talents!

I agree with comments made by Bonnie Becker and would like to add one more thought. It is also our job to let all the parents know that we provide an inclusive setting. It is our responsibility to educate parents of "non-problem" children and to provide a supportive environment where children can learn to accept classmate's shortcomings. Children learn to help each other and once the children are friends, the parents can also be supportive towards each other.

I did a search and located the article referenced and followed link from there to
Positive Education Program in Ohio
www.pepcleve.org
which offers consulants to child care programs experiencing children with challenging behaviors...not sure how they are funded, but would be a great help for child care programs who need help in helping the child and family.
Maybe someone knows more how the program works and how it could be duplicated throughout the country.

There are so many factors that can cause these situations but I think one of the most important factors a teacher & parent must consider...Is this child really ready for preschool yet?

Some 3 & 4 years are and some are simple not ready for preschool. It is wiser to reconsider staying in or out of preschool than to leave a child in a situation that is just not right for that child at this time than to keep the child in the situation and possibly create more problems that you have already.
Keeping a child in a program that he/she is not ready for, I fear the child would learn a negative attitude towards the environment that would flow into other grades in the future. I don't think it is worth the risk.

The first and most important thing to consider is..."Is the child really ready?"
Quite often, this is the underlying reason for the child's challenging behaviour.

Setting a time frame at the beginning of the children entry into preschool to determine if the child is ready for preschool can take the pressure of parent, teacher and most importantly the child. Sometimes waiting a few months or until next preschooll term begins can make all the difference.

Oh and lets lift the term "expelling" because it really isn't developmentally appropriate or at least I don't think so...not for preschool age children. While older children might be expelled, preschool children are really just little buds waiting to bloom and sometimes they just need the right elements at the right time to let them blossom...that is what developmentally appropriate practice is all about: all at the right time, in the right time for the right child.

Sincerely,
Deb Evans, Early Childhood Educator

I've been in education since 1972. I spent 21 years in special educational dealing with all types of academic, physical and behavioral issues. When starting this preschool I swore I'd never "dis-enroll" a child from my preschool thinking I could handle all preschool behavioral issues. I then found the reality that a 3 - 4 year old child comes to us with behavioral patterns that take time to reverse if inappropriate in a preschool situation. A child-expert said that a child learns how to manipulate the parent by the time s/he is one year old. Not this isn't inappropriate - this is a wonderfully, natural process. It only becomes a problem if the parent allows inappropriate demands to be reinforced continually. By the time the child is in preschool, those demands are now placed on us - and placed, by the child, above the needs of everyone in the center. If they've always had their way, were allowed to sass, swat, yell, tantrum, etc. they will believe that this behavior is an acceptable way to get what they want. We get to deal with it. Now, here at this center, we help the children take responsibility for their actions in a quiet manner, praise the child for making excellent choices and get excited over their growth. But back to the expulsions: 3 times I've had to send a child home because they absolutely would not mind....RESPECT...the needs of the other children, the teachers or the center itself. If after day after day we've tried and used all our most effective techniques, including many parent meetings with and without the child, the child disregards the words of the teacher and director and the rules of the school, the child must go for the good of all. And the director and teachers must remember that they did try everything. When the grieving process is over (and yes, we grieved) we spent time thinking of every possible way to avoid this in the future. However, it may happen again......after we've expended every creative way we know to reach children.

As a Director of a child care program serving at-risk, low income families, I too have struggled with balancing the needs of children who desparately need help, with those of other children and staff who are at risk of potential harm. Reaching the decision to 'exclude' these children in the past (a more comfortable term than 'expelled') was based on my desire to respond to the concern of the staff and the other parents. I was not looking at my ethical responsibility to the child. Nor was I looking at my responsibility to provide the necessary support and training to the staff to enable them to successfully respond to the needs of individual children. Since then I have given this a lot of thought, attended numerous workshops and read and re-read the NAEYC Code of Ethical Conduct to provide direction. This is what I have learned:

- Children that I would exclude from our program typically have already been or will be excluded from at least one other program by the time they reach kindergarten
- Parents hesitate to disclose information that would enable us to help their child out of fear of being kicked out.
- Our ethical obligation to other children does not preclude our obligation to help individual children.
- Teachers need to have a clear understanding of their expectations for meeting the needs of children.

I have now made the following changes and commitment
- We do not discriminate against children based on their individual needs or challenges.
- Parent orientation and our handbook clearly states that we will not exclude children with challenging behavior, but will work with the family to ensure that they receive the necessary services or referrals.
- Staff understand that they may in fact have a child or children with more challenging behaviors, but that the expectation is that they will make appropriate accomodations as needed.
- There are clear guidelines and procedures for determining the best way to meet the needs of the child and family.
- Additional staff is provided to ensure safety for all. This includes the Director being in the classroom as needed to observe, offer feedback and 'shadow' the child.
- We help the parent identify the appropriate setting for their child when they transition to another school or are dually enrolled and try tto develop a partnership with the staff.
- We use the NAEYC Code to help us reflect on our ethical responsibilities in the face of dilemmas.

There are still problems and I do not have a fool proof system of meeting everyone's needs, but this is what I do know and what I say to myself when faced with questions about why:

If I don't try and help this child, if we don't support this family now and try and make a difference, who will? I don't know if anyone will, so I must.

I worked with preschoolers in a daycare and we had some very challenging behaviors in the room. Tables, chairs shelves, toys, you name where being thrown, or tipped over because this child did not want to do what was going on. That becomes a huge concern as you know for the other children you care for (parents trust the staff and want their child(ren) safe - of course!), and staff get punched, hit, scrtached, bit, or spat at. It is not safe for anyone when a child's anger gets the best of them. The staff were wonderful, we had the two children assessed, working on calming strategies learning the words etc. and the parents were very well aware about the issues that we had, but at home nothing changes, they don't do the work. They are the parents, yes we are all tired after working all day, but as parents your job is never done.
SO, what I am saying that if all avenues have been addressed, documentation has happend(depending of the severity of the aggression), but parents are not on board then yes I agree that children should be removed - its for the saftey of the other children and staff (and for the wages they get, they don't deserve to be treated with such dis-respect from 2, 3, 4 yr olds and older, so to keep excellent staff, which is hard to find, operators need to find the best solution for the business they are in.) Sometimes that would be the best solution for the family, they can go to a smaller, less busy environment.
With this crazy world we're in, wouldn't we the parents want our children to vent their anger and frustration in a positive manner, so there are no more violence in this world? I don't know, but I definetely don't want my child to be known as the "crazy shooter" - Children's behaviors are learned,they are not born with them, unless it is a disorder, but majority of them are learned behaviors. So, if they kick and scream because they want that toy, and you give it to them, guess what? they are going to continue doing it for everything else, that is learned behavior!!!!! They are always watching the adults in their life....So be careful!!!!

I want to get the rest of the article to Strong reaction to 'Kicked out of preschool' and I could not see where you go to get the rest of it. Can you help me find it? I would like to use this to help train my teachers at our staff meeting in the Fall.

Thanks.

I am an experienced teacher/ director as well as a parent. I agree with all the comments regarding the lack ofavailable resources to deal with challenging behaivors. But I am also concerned with how much blame is being putting on parents for behaviors that are mental health based. Three of my five children were adopted form foster care. One has very challenging behaviors rooted in his early experiences, over which I obviously have no control. Why he has made tremendous progress in two years there are still major issues.

It is hard enough to be his parent. Dealing with the judgment of others (including professional eductors who should know better) and regularly being blamed for his behavior is putting me over the edge myself. I think many people overestimate the amount and type of help that is available to parents of challenging children. A diagnosis is not a cure. Understanding the "whys" of his behavior doesn't change it. Stronger " discipline" is not the answer. He has issues that NO ONE has been able to give us any real help with - including physicians, thearapists, TSS's, etc. 95% of his progress has been due to what his father and I have done, but we are not typical parents education-wise. Parents are being required by sheer necessity to do what the mental health community should be doing but isn't. For the vast majority of parents this is on top of a full-time job and caring for other children.

I completely understand the ocasional need to discharge a student - in 25 years I've done it three times myself. But please be careful about blaming parents. If you haven't been there you have no idea how difficult it is to be the parent of that discharged child (mine never has been and there are still days when I'm ready to institutionalize him - but can't because he hasn't done anything drastic enough....)

Discharge if you need to - but please have some empathy for the parent who deals with this child 24 hours a day in one way or another, and whose lives are controlled by it, through no fault of their own. Blaming and judging parents only makes the situation worse because the added stress it causes.

I run an in-home daycare. I do not
believe in "giving up" on a child but you
have to take a close look at their home
circumstances. Children act out for many
different reasons. I recently terminated
a child from my program because I personally do not want the fall out of
what can come from an emotionally
disturbed child. I have children in my
program who have bit, kicked, slapped
and spit on me. I still have them. I stand
firm in time-out's and do not waver for
any reason. I do believe that children
need to taught discipline at home but,
they also need patience,love,kindness and
understanding. Maybe they didn't sleep
well. Maybe they're hungry. Maybe they
heard mom & dad argue -again-. Maybe
they simply need a hug. In time, my methods have proven effective. Through
many, many hours of prayer I felt that I
was missing the big picture. Obviously,
I was. My emotionally disturbed child
suffered from a wide range of - I can't
even explain it-. Constant tatteling,
crazy lies,extreme manipulation, nervous
twitches and when all else fails "let's have
a 6 hour meltdown". After discussing all
of the issues with the parent's and many
I don't know why she does that - she
doesn't do that to her grandparents!?! to
every imaginable excuse I decided I had
to let the child go. I am not trained in the
field of phsycology so I decided that by,
keeping her in my program I was putting
all of us at risk for a potentially dangerous
situation. Since I cut the strings a few
weeks ago amazingly enough I have not
used the time-out chair once and have
had no violent outburst from anyone. I
do however still feel responsible for the
one I let go. The poor child is dropped
on anyone who will say yes and is in the
care of an emotionally disturbed mom. I can only pray for the Lord's hand to
comfort and give the dad strength
to keep on smiling and playing the role of
both parents when mom "checks out" for
a while. When these are the home
circumstances you can only step back,
take a breath, Pray for God's guidance and reccomend professional help.....

I am glad this topic resurfaced, as it bothered me when I read it initially. Unfortunately, as director of a center that spends a great deal of time on the floor supporting my staff when they are dealing with challeging children, I didn't take the time to respond until now.

I doubt there are many chidlren who are asked to leave a program because they couldn't sit still for circle time and some of the other things mentioned in the article. Those comments sound more like parental observations than staff reasons. In 6 years as director of this center I have asked only 2 children to leave. The behavior in both cases posed a danger to the child himself and to the other children in the center. In both cases the dismissal prompted parents to seek further evaluations of their children and in both cases the children were diagnosed with less common conditions within the autism spectrum. I have a well trained and experienced staff, but none of us has the knowledge or expertise to handle those kinds of issues. Over the years we have worked with children with challenged by Autism, Aspberger's, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Physical Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Bipolar, Extreme Anxiety, serious developmental delay, deafness, severely delayed speech, gross and fine motor delay and depression, to name a few. That on top of living in poverty or struggling through angry divorces and custody battles. We deal with young, single moms, parents who don't have a clue what they are doing and some who really don't care. To suggest that we are "kicking children out" on a regular basis because we have unrealistic expectations is grossly unfair. It is my reponsibility to run a safe, developlentally appropriate program that benefits all the children in our care. When one child injures several children and teachers on a daily basis, the responsible and caring decision is to admit that our program is not the right fit for the child and give the parent a 2 week notice. The decision is never made lightly and any suggestion that it is simply reinforces the lack of understand and regard for the very important job we are all doing.

I think these comments speak for themselves. The Early Childhood field would be well advised to include all information possible on the laws and resources available for children who are suspected of developing differently and who are suspected of having any special needs that require special education. The earlier this is done, the fewer services that will be needed when children enter the K or public school. Pay now or pay later.

I own and operate a small inclusive preschool/child care program and have am 0-5, K-8 certified special and general education. While it's easy to be appalled with the notion and stats regarding preschool expulsion, the practice of expelling young children must be viewed as a cry for help by the early childhood field. The laws, the techniques, the developmental appropriateness and most of all, the working with parents must be addressed as a matter of fact in ongoing training and education of those in the field. There IS only so much an average preschool can do, and parents are the key to getting their child help (by law and by fact) and through getting the help a child needs, by default so does the early childhood program/teacher.

I am a developmental therapist, contracted with our early childhood system to provide services, and have yet to be offered ANY training or access to meeting the IDEA 2004 requirements. It's no wonder that regular preschool programs are in no position to adequately service children who are not able to participate and access what is available in their program.

Sometimes the early childhood professional has to be a cog in the wheel and part of the process that the parents will go through to get their child the help that they need.

Every training I teach to those in the field, I share info on inclusion, special education policy and DAP as the best way to include most children and run a top notch program.

I am a caregiver with a diffecult child in the clssroom. The teachers that have to deal with this in their classroom have a hard time focusing on what their objective is for the day the behavior child takes all the focus and put it on them ,the other childern in the classroom get the rawn end of the deal of their education as well.Thay get bite, kicked, scrached to the point that thay do not wont to come to school. I fell this is the early stages of bulling and it will only get worse in time. For the parents of the childern thay need to relize to get help for their child due to the simple fact that it is not getting any better. As a teacher of a diffcult child in the classroom you seem to get burned out alot quicker. I fell as an educator if the school and teacher has done every thing possible it is time for the parent to do something and quick ignoring the fact that there is a promble. That is what is worng with the system today. Look at the rate of childern growing up and geting into crimes and going to prison. If the parents have to deal with their child sent home for the behavior issue maybe thay will spend time with them.

Over the years, our program has had to ask just a handful of children to leave the program because we could not meet their needs. In reading the other responses to this article, it is nice to know we're not the only ones who have had to do this. We have seen parents bring us children with the symptoms of severe autism, ADHD and a host of other possible diagnoses. The staff does not have the training to diagnose or to provide the therapy needed to help these children and the county does. We work with the parents to get their child in the system that can best help them. But - if a parent doesn't want to listen or accept that our program is not the right fit, there's not much we can do - and that means that the child's opportunity for intervention is lost until school age. I don't think many schools are going to release a child because he can't sit for circle time. Now if he takes a chair or toy and tries to crack it over the head of another child during said circle time, that's a whole different issue. Schools as a rule bend over backwards to accommodate indivdual needs and I think that the article was very judgmental -

Definitely it is a bad idea to kick a child out of pre school because he asks too many questions, wants to touch everything and "participates" a bit too much in class, but we are probably not talking about those children anyway. There does exist a number of people who begin to show at a very early age, i.e. pre-school, signs of violent tendencies and untreated ADHD! Not all parents know what they are doing and send their ill raised children to school hoping the teachers will handle it. Parents need to be held accountable and responsible for the actions of these few but potentially harmful citizens. I have had two children in pre-school and believe me there is such a thing as a bully in pre K! Teacher's and care givers are given too much of the responsibility over their students upbringing and it is not their job, it is that of the parents.

As a preschool teacher I agree that children should not be asked to leave a school. However, preschools that are small do not always have the professional support needed to successfully teach children with severe behavioral problems. Children who cannot sit for even one minute at the age of four, are disruptive, even during play, etc. It takes months from request for evaluation by a school district to the evaluation and CSE and then services cannot always be provided because the district cannot find a professional to come to the child's school
for recommended services.

I own and run a home daycare for 1 to 5yr olds. It's 8 children with myself and my daughter as my assistant. I had to remove a 3 yr old male from my daycare because as he gotten older his behavior became violent. For example, it started with saying no and shut-up at me and the children for 8 hours straight. The parents were informed all the time. Then he started throwing furniture and toys over the children's heads. This also was told to his parents. The parents reaction was, he doesn't act like that at home. I took action finally and had him terminated. After several attemts with his parents to work with me. It hurts to let a child go because of behavior problems but nothing seemed to work.

I agree with Nancy Anersons comments. I am presently a director of a child development center for the military. I have also been a training and curriculum specialist for the military child development centers and a kindergarten/special education teacher. In my experience we pay the care providers very well, provide them free training and educational assistance. On occasion we have children that come to our facilities demonstrating aggressive behaviors towards teachers and other children. We try to work very closely with the families to create a behavior modification plan, however when the parents refuse to cooperate by following the plan that everyone has agreed upon than the last resort is to remove the child from the program. There are some children that can not "handle" themselves in a large environment and we can not provide one-on-one for these children. We also have to think about the safety of the other children in our care. We do offer alternatives to parents that will allow their child to still develop the social, emotional, physical, cognitive skills they will need as they grow, however it is done in a smaller environment. We have even gone as far as to work with external programs to provide evaluations and informal to formal observations on children. Of course this formal are done with the parents concent. If they are ready to come back then we do offer that option. The point is to work with the families and the child, but when all attempts have been made then the contract is cancelled and the child removed.

Each child has the ability to grow through the learning environment developing themselves through purposeful and meaningful activities.Their physical, emotional, and intellectual development are interrelated to every experience they encounter in their young lives.

When children encounter behaviours from other preschool children that are alarming,or frightening: Preschool programs usually have 17/2 ratio. When prolonged postive discipline techniques are practiced and teachers don't see the results that are needed for a safe nuturing enviroment. I feel that the child needs to be placed in other more appropriate programs. The government needs to provide more funding, so preschools are able to have more staff to allow children to get the help , so they can develop the kindness, courtesy and self-discipline that will allow them to become a full member of society.

Over the 30 years I have taught/directed in preschools, children's and families' needs have increased exponentially while early childhood educators have applied the most current understanding of child development to create childcare environments that are significantly more appropriate than they were. I agree with the comments from practitioners that describe challenges to creating such a safe, caring and appropriate setting for young children -- high child to teacher ratios, underpaid and undertrained staff, and children who have suffered trauma in their lives leading to behaviors difficult to manage are all common and valid reasons for a school finally and regretfully having to make the decision that it cannot meet a child's needs well enough to keep everyone safe. An equally important reason, I think, is that for private, non-profit preschools there are few resources to assist in supporting a child and family, the group of other children and staff. We do not have social workers, behavioral specialists or therapists available to us except at private expense from the community. Public school systems do their best when we refer a child, but special education costs have gone through the roof and tax dollars will go only so far. Even if school systems can help, it often takes so long to access it that we risk everyone's well-being. Perhaps it might help to solve these very real problems rather than making a blanket assessment of unreasonable preschool expectations.

Based on my observations, it is my belief that some of the kicking out of preschools goes far beyond inappropriate expectations of this age group. When children's basic needs are not met at home, for whatever reason, acting out in preschool is a cry for help that may be a child's desparate effort to get his or her needs met. Children of deployed parents are one example of this. Administrators refer to the "new norm" of behavior in centers serving large numbers of such children who act out at an unprecedented level. It is my belief that much research is needed in this area to determine better ways of working with such children and to establish policies that better meet the needs of military families.

Attn: Mr. Walter S. Gilliam
In regards to your research regarding "kicking preschoolers out of school" - I have a class of 19 Preschoolers ages three to four years old. Another class of 20 PreK children four to five years of age. There are two assigned teachers for each classroom and an Alternate Teacher who teaches in the a.m. with the Preschool classroom, and the p.m. with PreK. This gives more 1-on-1 teacher attention for our children. Throughout our 24 years in Early Childhood, we have enrolled some extremely physically aggressive children. They have displayed unprovoked explosive anger towards both their classmates and teachers. We work closely with the parents as well as have Behavorial Consultants observe and consult with the child's parents and our team of teachers. After extensive intervention meansures and continue to see that we cannot meet the needs of this child, while keeping the other children safe and maintain our quality classroom for all the children; it is in the best interest of the aggressive child that we terminate his/her enrollmemt. This child needs to be possibly be in a smaller classroom and/or in a center that has a Behavior Consultant on staff. Private centers cannot afford to hire a consultant on an on-going basis, or an extra teacher to "shadow" this child. So, all-in-all, we only terminate a child's enrollment after itensive measures and still see that we cannot meet their needs. It is imperative that the other 18 children be part of a safe and academically challenging environment.
Thank you for taking the time to read my comments.
Nancy Anderson, Director
Greater Quincy Child Care Center
Quincy, MA

As a College Professor, a former Early Childhood Director and Consultant I see the alarming rate of children being kicked out of preschools. But I also see teachers who are not qualified; who are overworked and underpaid, and an expectation that a ratio of 2 teachers to 20 preschoolers is acceptable. Ridiculous!!!!
We need to hire more qualified teachers, (of course that means we have to pay them more than workers at McDonalds) Things have to change.

I have heard stories about a few young children in preschools who have had personal situations and come to the preschool swearing, telling other children and staff they would kill them. Or, they would repeat situations that they had been involved in to scare the other children. Professional help was taken, however; what about the other children that are easily influenced. What is suggested?? As a parent it is hard enough to direct your child through life. We send our children to a "SAFE" environment or do we?? I believe there is a time and a place for "kicking " a child out of preschool, if the cause is just.

If a child is not sitting that is no reason to kick them out. But, extreme verbal and physical abusive by a preschooler needs strong, consistant help from many outside professionals (doctor, etc.)

Rachel

I understand the thought that children are being asked to leave programs because the program is not a quality program that understands young children.
But I have also had several children leave our center because even with a 1:6 ratio in preschool, the child did not fit into the program. Their past included abuse and many other problems. These children were served better in other programs set up to help children with emotional problems.
We have also worked with many children who have been asked to leave 2 or 3 other programs before they ended up with us and they actually blossomed in our program. I think quality programs need to know their limitations too. We all have to look at what is best for the child. If the child can be better served in another environment than isn't it our job as educators to help parents understand their child's needs and help them find the appropriate educational experience?

I think the topic is timely and worthy of discussion. There are preschool personnel who have inappropriate expectations of children. These educators need more training in child development to hone their expectations.
On the other side, however, are the children with special needs who are better served in programs with staff educated in how to work with them.
The article does not indicate whether children referred for testing are included in the statistics of children expelled from preschool.

Should we be concerned about young children being kicked out of preschool? Yes, we should. Is the problem merely that preschool staff are unrealistic in their expectations of young children? I think not. For the most part I believe preschool educators have training and experience that makes them familiar with developmental appropirate practices and expectations. I agree with the comment made that sometimes the standards put upon early educators by state and national organizations like NAEYC places undue stress and expectations on educators and children. When the children do not meet expectations the school is blamed, instead of looking at the expectations and standards which come from local and national associations. Children need to be allowed to be children without constantly being viewed under state mandated microscopes. On another note;
I have been an early childhood educator for almost 20 years and I continue to see a downward spiral in the behavoir of young children. I assure you it is not always the fault of the school's program. Many children come to school without knowledge of healthy boundries, respect of self and others. They have been allowed to use violent behavoir to get what they want. Their home lives are chaotic and lack decent food and an appropriate schedule for children. They watch TV, play video games or are allowed to play unsupervised. They are not read to, they don't get taken to museums or parks, etc... How are edcuators supposed to handle this? We have them for a limited period of time and cannot undo what gets done at home. This is not just an urban, poverty level problem. Many well-to-do parents are just as guilty and do not bother to teach their children the meaning of the word no.
Another problem is that many centers just are not equipped to handle the special needs of many children, they do not have the money or the staff people they need.
To flipantly state that children get kicked out of preschool because the staff has unrealistic expectations of young children is irresponsible. The problem has many layers and deserves a more open-minded approach.

I am a bit concerned with the statement in the article "Slager goes on to talk about parents and experts who see a preschool system that has lost sight of what's appropriate to expect of a 3- or 4-year-old." I believe that it is these very same parents and experts that have been driving hard on the early education field to establish standards and a "school-like" environment in the preschool years so that the children will be able to compete in the ever increasing world of early primary. Who looses? The children who are kicked out - the parents who have to send their chidren to under-resourced early education - society as we continue to look for someone to blame when we know the answer to the problem.

Yes, we must debate and develop clear principles about developmentally appropriate practice for young children, and we must do it in language that the lay community and education community understands. We must simultaneously demand the level of funding necessary to produce the results that we expect. It is totally unfair of us as a society to set these high standards and then leave it to the center/home staff to impliment. Of course they will kick out the difficult children, how else would they make sense of an impossibly difficult job?

Is that fair or healty for children? NO! But this situation will continue on forever if we do not align principles with expectations with funding. Twenty+ years ago, when I was a preschool teacher with 12 children to care for; I made $6 per hour. I was excited about the movement that linked Quality, Compensation, and Affordability (QCA). That conversation is as relevant today as it was then.

The comments are mixing apples and oranges--some children are appropriately asked to wait to begin preschool, although not all families can afford to do that, sometimes program ask a child to leave as a "wake-up call" to parents who are in denial about their child's needs, however many children are asked to leave "state-funded preschools" because the center does not have the resources and supports to meet the needs of all the children. Many state-funded preschools are being nickled and dimed to death with states' low reimbursement rates. The teachers are neither adequately trained nor adequately compensated, as a preschool teacher's aide said to me "I'm not paid enough to deal with this kind of behavior." The child care (non-)system needs comprehensive support for mental health and behavioral issues. The children that I am most concerned about are the ones who families have few or no options when expelled. The children, who without appropriate intervention, enter schools extremely disadvantaged.

I read with interest your article regarding expelling children from the public preschool program and thought that you might be interested in the story of our daycare. Our county's state preschool initiative is located in our private non-profit. Although we conform to all of the requirements of a public school program, we must also conform to state daycare licensing regulations and local DSS overview. Ten years ago, a mother charged an aide with child abuse, hired an injury lawyer, 'goin" to make big bucks,' but when it took too long, charged the director with hurting her child. The director was removed from the program while the investigation went forward. The director's name appeared on the front page of the local newspaper, made the 6 0'clock news on the TV. The director appeared in court 7 times, and incurred more than $30,000 worth of debts before her good name was cleared and she was restored to her rightful place. Do we put children out???You better believe it! Are there children who can curse like sailors at age four? Who refuse to stay in the building? Are there parents who accuse staff of hurting their children when no such thing has occurred? Are there parents who tolerate all sorts of unacceptable behavior in their children? Are there children who bite and kick and spit? Yes, I am sorry to tell you that there are. We continue to love them and care for them and provide a quality program but sometimes we simply can not handle a child and they must leave -for our safety and for the safety of the other children.

This research points to the real concern I have with our headlong march into standards. And I am afraid that the new NAEYC DAP document will only make matters worse. Much of it focuses on "emotional regulation", which for me is a euphemism for sitting still and paying attention.

This is a critical issue that we must debate and face head-on.

If my son had not been disenrolled from several preschools, I would never have got the message that he needed help with his behavior. Okay, yes, I am hard to convince about the other-than-perfection of my children.

Now, he's a wonderful man (and earns about five times what I do).

There comes a time . . .

My son, who is now 27 years old, was kicked out of preschool.
He was 3 years old, this was a Christian Preschool with a wonderful teacher whom my daughter had . My son was afaid to be away from me. He cried alot, and the teacher after a few days suggested Josh not come to preschool anymore. She thought he needed to wait. She was right, we waited until he was four and he did GREAT!
I know what your article is saying, but in some cases I believe if a parent can hold off, then this child will not act out and get into trouble and start being labeled.
I also think the world, daycares and churchs need to offer more parenting classes. Unfortunatly the classes are only good if the parents follow the advice.
By the way, I am a mother of three and my son from above, married at 22, no children, is buying his second home, has a GREAT job with a Bachlors Degree and moved the farrest from home. But YES was kicked out of Preschool.

The most important factor any director has to examine is, what is best for this child and the other children in my center. Sometimes, it is impossible to meet both needs. The few times I have had to ask a family to remove their child it was because either the family refused to see that the behavior was dangerous to the child and the group or because our county early intervention unit refused to classify the child as needing help. An early childhood care and education facility does not normally have the personnel resources to deal with a troubled child on a consistent one to one ratio. We have tried it at our center and it greatly harmed our budget.
Mental health and behavior issues in very young children are just now receiving badly needed attention. Sometimes "expulsion" from a preschool setting is the wake-up call for families, pediatricians and early intervention units. It is sad that it has to be such a negative thing for the child and family, but if that is what I have to do to get a child help, then I will do it.

I am the program director for a center based child care center. Our learning is based on play. We do very little writing. All of our activites are age appropriate and cover all domains. And I have had to terminate children. All of the expulsions (if you will)generate from parents who refuse to take any responsiblity for how they are raising their children. The biggest problem that I encounter is constant biting, punching and kicking. Parents must understand that these behaviors are symptommatic of what is taking place in the home. If parents can not take the time to deal with inappropriate behavior at the pre-school level then when? I am on director who refuses to let one child terrorize the other children in the group. If parents refuse to teach their children how to behave appropriately in public then they should stay at home with them.

While the author Melissa Slager covered the topic in a non-provocative manner, I feel that the article bashed an already bashed industry that is often at the end of a pointed finger.

It is unfortunate that only one side of the issue is covered in the article. Yes, she does mention that Yale researcher, Walter S. Gilliam did not look into the reasons for expulsions, which I find rather amusing. How do you research a topic and not investigate the reason why the issue exists. What good is an article that just reports a statistics? It is easy to identify and document a problem, the challenge is to identify the causes and plan for remedy.

Yet again, the child care industry is blamed for inappropriate expectations. This explanation of inappropriate expectation never seems to apply in the opposite direction! Let us face it many child care programs have been developed to respond to the desires and whims of parents and higher educators. Pressure to prepare children for Kindergarten has some how been translated into pushing academics instead of communication and social skills.

Many national early childhood associations have been striving to educate and create programs that meet the true needs of young children. However, you never hear about them in the media.

Having administrator's experience in a state funded child care program, teaching experience in a public preschool and many years of providing onsite technical assistance to the child care programs, I understand that this topic is multi faceted. The reasons for expulsion are many and not all unfunded or inappropriate.

Let us first think about the parent’s role in this process. Did the parent do their homework and select a setting and program that matches the needs of their child? Money of course plays a role in this, you get what you pay for. Programs that have trained and certified staff members often have a higher price tag. In addition, with the large number of child care programs competing for the same parents, a child care program can not risk losing three unhappy families to keep one. Basic business says that is stupid! Director often decide to do as much as you can, offer referrals and cut your losses.

Yes, one would expect public schools to have a lower expulsion rate than preschools. That would make sense since preschool programs are often the first to identify developmental delays and help parents seek services. Services that are often in place before children arrive to public school. When child care programs can not afford to pay staff a self sufficiency wage or health benefits, they most certainly can not afford the cost personal aids.

It would be wonderful if the Exchange would take a current look at the topic. Dedicate an entire issue as a follow up. I would also recommend that when and if they do they send a copy of it to both Walter S. Gilliam and Melissa Slager.

It seems that our industry continues to take three steps forward and two back every time the media gets involved. In the end, it is what it is, the media does what it does best and we will continue to care for the countries most vulnerable population.

I'm not sure what state-funded programs the author was referring to, nor what the exact causes for expulsion were in the study cases...she states "even with problem behavior"...., but there is no reference to problem behavior in the cited study.
As a Head Start employee, I can say that most expulsions do not come because of behavioral problems with the child, but because of parental non-compliance with program requirements. It could be that there is such a high incidence of expulsion with the Sate-funded programs because we have a higher standard to which we are required to hold the parent accountable.

I agree with Lisa's comments in this article. Some programs have inappropriate expectations for young children and I would add, "caregivers who lack the skills to support challenging behaviors." However, I have a problem with the statistics. Who are these children that are being counted? Are we considering all children who change programs due to incapatability? Personally, I do not like and refuse to use the term, "kicked out." I have been in the field for 30 years, and I have learned that all programs are not right for all children. Sometimes administrators have to make tough (yet concerned) decisions to see that the child is placed in a program where she or he can succeed. Let's remember that quality programs focus on the needs of individual children, and it is their job to keep all the children in the program safe . This balancing act happens through collaboration with families and other agencies, and often results in making approppriate "referrals," not "kicking children out."

As the owner/director of a preschool, I agree that it is my responsibility to do all that I can to keep children in school.
But what are we supposed to do when we have a child who is so disruptive(fighting, screaming, cursing, throwing furniture) that he is a danger to himself and others? What would the author suggest I we do when the parents refuse to cooperate with the school in seeking assistance from therapist and/or outside agencies?

Although I don't agree with the premise of expelling preschoolers, I believe this statement is inaccurate.

"It's like taking sick people out of the hospital."

Technically, wouldn't it be- like taking sick, disruptive people that are hampering the ability of the doctors to help the progress of other patients out of the hospital.

In some cases the author is correct that more is expected than ability of preschooler. But there are cases where preschoolers have to be expelled to protect the rest of the class. I have had young children who were violent and even vicious. Yes, I am sure it is the parents fault but without something concrete, CPS will not get involved.

We have been in business for 32 years and over that period of time I have had to let some children go because of very disruptive behavior. We try to have the children evaluated by the Early Childhood Intervention Center in our area which requires the consent of the parents. Most of the time we are successful and can work with the families and school district, but when a family is in denial and won't work with the teachers, there is no other choice for the safety of the children and the teachers. Sometimes it is too overwhelming for these children to be in a normal classroom of 15-20 children. I have reccommended home day care as another alternative. It would be nice if we could afford an aide just for that child, but it is not possible.

You don't expell a 4 year old. Period.
A family has brought them to you because you are an established school setting.
An established school setting is a knowledgeable, committed resource and support for a young child and their family.
Do your job.

As I read the article I started wondering, what do people expect preschools to do when they have a challenging child? Our teachers barely get paid above minumum wage, they have little formal training, unlike their counterparts in the K-12 system and no special education resources like in K12. When you have a child enrolled who acts out violently, or runs out of the center everytime they get angry, there is only so much a program can handle before your state license is endangered. I am not talking about mild behavior problems, I am talking about children who have diagnosed or undiagnosed ED, or SPED. One state licensor told me, "I know you have a good heart but you cannot keep children in your program who will endanger the program."

One statistic that is missing in this article, is the percentage of these children who are boys. I work with many, many programs and many mental health consultation projects and I find that many times, the issue is that boys are acting like boys. And we are a field of women, raising boys. I think it is our responsibility to take a close look at what types of behavior we are comfortable with as women, and if we are treating boys and girls equally and appropriately. There are some differences in what boys and girls need in a group care setting. Are we meeting the needs of highly physical, hands-on boys? Or are we kicking them out without considering their particular needs? Just a thought!

There may be occasions where expulsion is a great tool for enlisting the parents help in developing the childs behavior.

I do think that we need to make a distinction between dismissing families due to lack of payment, and dismissing families due to behavioral or medical reasons. I find it much easier to dismiss a family for financial reasons (although it's still not easy and I do so only after trying to find other ways of helping the family).
Dismissing a family due to behavioral concerns is something I do only after we've tried a number of different things to reach the child, and the parents. I've hated every time I had to do it, but sometimes it is the only way to get a parent to realize that there really is a problem that needs fixing. After a family has had to go through the trouble of finding a new child care arrangement (sometimes two or three times) they find it much harder to say, "it's not my child, it's you."

I have alot of behavior problem children- I get the kids that other centers dont want - I find it easy to establish a Discipline Plan in which the parent and myself come to an agreement - dismissing the child does not solve the problem - but parents realize that they actually have a Dennis the Menance on their hands - lol

I agree with this article to a certain extent. I am an early childhood educator and when you have a child with mild behavior problems we do have a responsibility to train them to handle situations in a more positive way, however, when you have a child with severe behavior issues that constantly lashes out at other students then the responsibility is to protect the students in your class that suffer at the hands of this other child. Disenrollment of a preschooler is always sad but sometimes it can also be necessary.

As a director I wish I could say I had never had to dismiss a child from our program, however I live in the real world. In the real world, I can't afford enough help in every class. In the real world all parents will not partner with you. They want you to raise their child and then criticize what you do. We do not look for a way to "kick a child out of preschool." but the truth is, it is not our child. The child belongs to the parent, and our job is to assist the parents in the rearing of their child. I have changed children to different classes because parents have said their child had a personality conflict with the teacher and basically stood on my head to make them happy. But this is a not a perfect world, and when I release a child I know I have done everything within my power to make it work out.

Any time we place children in an environment with adults who have not received a level of training and education that covers the developmental stage of the children for whom they are responsible, we can see this type of disparity. Our expectations as adults are built around our own personal experiences and educational knowledge, and we have accepted for years that a degree in education and/or our own experience as parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc. will suffice. That is not necessarily so.

This is a very myopic view of why a child would be requested to be removed from a preschool classroom. As a preschool teacher myself, I am accutely aware of how a child's learned behavior (from family/home) forms their social/classroom behavior. There are occasions when a three-year-old's inapproriate use of language and unacceptable social interaction, which have been demonstrated in the home and are ignorned by the primary caregivers, carry-over into our classroom environment. I view my first responsibility as protector of the children in my charge. It would be irresponsible of me to knowingly continue to expose the other children to repeatedly unacceptable behavior.

Most of the time when a child is released from a program....it is after much, much, considereation and several, no many, attempts at trying to manage the child.

We have to remember that this is group care. And if you have a child that is out of bounds (I mean not the normal) and you try very hard to manage the child...but at the expense of the other children....then you can't always keep the child.

Sometimes...preschool is not what a particular child needs at the time. Sometimes they need a school that is not mainstream.

Also most parents are paying for preschool....not K-12. So when you have a parent, who is paying $500 a month for childcare and their child is being bit everyday. Despite the best enivronment, good curriculum and teachers, a quality center certified as quality, centers being updated and changed, transition tools being used, speech therapist invovled, and several attempts and strategies at managing the situation.... sometimes you have to make hard choices....because either way you are going to lose a child.

Most of the time, a child is released because of the parents. Parents are not paying their bill, Parents expectations are too high, Parents are overprotective, etc.

Releasing a child is never easy, the school gets very attached to the children and parents and usually invest much time into the child and want to see their success. Most of the time...it's a decision that just has to be made. And it's hard on everyone....especially the director.

The article makes it sounds like it's just an afterthought to let a child go..and it's done all the time without care.

This just goes to show the need for better quality Early Childhood programs - better trained teachers, better teacher to child ratio, and more supports for teachers.