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The Importance of Eye Contact
January 15, 2008
A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.
-Sir Francis Bacon
-Sir Francis Bacon
"Eye contact is one of the most powerful means we have to express our feelings to our children. But men aren't very good at it. Dads need to make a conscious effort to look at their children in a loving, positive way. Fathers tend to spend their day sort of gazing at nothing, almost looking through things....
"If the child receives pleasant eye contact only when he or she pleases the parents, that's conditional love, and that is very damaging to the child. That tells the child she isn't worth much in her own right, and she's only valued if she performs correctly. So that child will never develop the self-esteem and a jillion other things that a healthy child needs to have...
"Even if the child is in the midst of misbehavior, we can still make pleasant eye contact with that child. It's something we can do continuously. Eye contact is a way to keep your child's emotional tank full of unconditional love. The parent looks into the eyes of the child while the child is looking back. It's very simple, but boy is it complex in the child's brain."
Women and men in the early childhood profession are invited to attend the first ever Working Forum on Men in Early Care and Education taking place on May 20 - 23, 2008 in Honolulu, Hawaii. Topics that will be addressed include the historical context for men in ECE, research on men in ECE, myths and stereotypes on men in ECE, constraints on achieving success in balancing gender, success stories and proven strategies for improving gender balance. More Information
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GOOGLE HIRING EARLY CHILDHOOD EDUCATORS:
Google has expanded its employee child development program by opening a world-class children's center in Mountain View, Calif. and is now hiring teachers.
Comments (3)
Displaying All 3 CommentsSystem 1-2-3/Cal. Univ.PA
Greensburg, PA, United States
This article may be what we as adults helping children think is the "nice" thing to do but it represents a critical flaw in our quest to help children learn. The literature for many years is clear. In order to help children learn to discriminate right from wrong, they need to receive feedback that says exactly that. A warm expression when misbehaving may make us feel good, but unfortunately may confuse the child..."was what I did OK or not?" As a professor(36 years) and co-founder of T-BASE(a positive behavior professional development [email protected]), I teach parents and teachers to be very positive when a child's behavior is appropriate and "neutral" when not. 50 years of behavioral research supports this...we just have not been (as a profession)paying attention to it.
United States
While eye contact is viewed as desirable in our culture, NOT making eye contact is a sign of respect in some cultures. We must be sensitive to family customs while helping children acclimate.
Education Development Center
Newton, MA, United States
This is an important and loving way for parents to connect with their baby, and it does so much to promote attachment, social-emotional development, and healthy parent-child relationships!
However, there are many families whose children who are not able to tolerate and/or respond to loving eye contact. Please consider a future posting, maybe a follow up to this one, that would be helpful and supportive to those families (and educators who work with them) who find themselves in this situation.
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