The Importance of Eye Contact

01/15/2008

The Importance of Eye Contact

A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.
Sir Francis Bacon

In an editorial, "Parent Eye Contact: How it Builds Children's Self Esteem," in Children's Voice (November 2007; www.cwla.org) the journal of the Child Welfare League of America, Patrick Mitchell shares the views of Ross Campbell from the University of Tennessee who contends that dads and moms who look lovingly upon their children enhance their self-worth. Here are some of his observations...

"Eye contact is one of the most powerful means we have to express our feelings to our children. But men aren't very good at it. Dads need to make a conscious effort to look at their children in a loving, positive way. Fathers tend to spend their day sort of gazing at nothing, almost looking through things....

"If the child receives pleasant eye contact only when he or she pleases the parents, that's conditional love, and that is very damaging to the child. That tells the child she isn't worth much in her own right, and she's only valued if she performs correctly. So that child will never develop the self-esteem and a jillion other things that a healthy child needs to have...

"Even if the child is in the midst of misbehavior, we can still make pleasant eye contact with that child. It's something we can do continuously. Eye contact is a way to keep your child's emotional tank full of unconditional love. The parent looks into the eyes of the child while the child is looking back. It's very simple, but boy is it complex in the child's brain."

Men in the Lives of Children

Women and men in the early childhood profession are invited to attend the first ever Working Forum on Men in Early Care and Education taking place on May 20 - 23, 2008 in Honolulu, Hawaii. Topics that will be addressed include the historical context for men in ECE, research on men in ECE, myths and stereotypes on men in ECE, constraints on achieving success in balancing gender, success stories and proven strategies for improving gender balance. More Information

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