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"Good is not good where better is expected." - Thomas Fuller

Talking about Special Needs

In the Exchange Articles on CD collection, "Children with Differing Abilities," the article, "Every Body's Different: Talking about Special Schoolmates," Carol Stock Kranowitz offers this advice to parents:

"As children with differing abilities interact, how do parents answer inevitable questions about other children's conditions?  Your naturally inquisitive child may ask, 'What's wrong with Bobby?'  Answer factually:  'Bobby has a condition called cerebral palsy.  He was born that way.  Cerebral palsy means that his muscles don't move smoothly, so he works extra hard to control the way he walks and draws.'

"A simple answer is suitable, but you may wish to go further.  Like all issues that provoke children's curiosity, such as sex, death, and religion, the subject of differing abilities makes a child think.  Because observing a special playmate alters a child's perception of an orderly, predictable world, it can prompt uncertainty and fear.  Your child may wonder, 'Will Bobby be like that forever?'  'Was he bad?'  'Will I become like him?'

"Take the opportunity to address your child's concerns, assuring her that Bobby's differences are not his fault but are a fact of his life, just as curly hair is a fact of hers.  Say, 'Everybody's different.  Nothing's wrong with Bobby, because having differing abilities is all right.  Let's think of all the things that are right about him.'

"Focusing on the right things about a special schoolmate is positive and constructive.  The first thing is that Bobby is a child like her, with more similarities than differences.  Talk about his strengths rather than his weaknesses.  Maybe Bobby tells great jokes.  Maybe he is a math wizard or a dinosaur expert.  Maybe he's the best friend a kid could ever have.

Bobby's special condition is secondary.  Reinforce the idea that a single identifying term, like cerebral palsy or birth trauma, or brown eyes or freckles, does not define a whole person.  A single term merely provides one fact about a person with many qualities and abilities."

The Exchange Articles on CD collection, "Children with Differing Abilities" contains 19 other Exchange articles on the topic.  This collection, and the other 7 Articles on CD collections are on sale this week at a 20% discount.  For details, go to: http://mail.ccie.com/go/eed/0544

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