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Embracing Instructive Discipline
May 19, 2021
There are those who give with joy, and that joy is their reward.
-Khalil Gibran
-Khalil Gibran
An Out of the Box kit, “Instructive Discipline is Built on Understanding — Choosing Time In,” is based on an article by child psychologist, David Elkind, author of such groundbreaking books as The Hurried Child, The Power of Play and Miseducation.
Elkind asks educators to think carefully about the concept and purpose of discipline. He writes:
“My dictionary gives two major definitions for the term discipline. One of these is ‘training that develops self control, character or orderliness, and efficiency.’ The other is, ‘treatment that corrects and punishes.’ These definitions start from two quite different conceptions of the child and of childrearing. The first begins with the idea that children are born neither social nor anti-social and have to be trained to acquire the rules and routines of healthy interpersonal exchange. In contrast, the other definition starts off with the idea that children come into the world with anti-social pre-dispositions (original sin, if you will) that have to be extinquished. One idea of childrearing and discipline is, therefore, instructive; it is a matter of teaching children social skills and attitudes. The other conception of childrearing and discipline is punitive, a matter of stamping out misbehavior through punishment.
The difference in our starting conceptions of discipline is important because it determines how we look at, and treat, what we as adults label misbehavior. First of all, and most importantly, when we view discipline as a learning experience we will look at so-called misbehavior as an opportunity for instruction.”
Elkind asks educators to think carefully about the concept and purpose of discipline. He writes:
“My dictionary gives two major definitions for the term discipline. One of these is ‘training that develops self control, character or orderliness, and efficiency.’ The other is, ‘treatment that corrects and punishes.’ These definitions start from two quite different conceptions of the child and of childrearing. The first begins with the idea that children are born neither social nor anti-social and have to be trained to acquire the rules and routines of healthy interpersonal exchange. In contrast, the other definition starts off with the idea that children come into the world with anti-social pre-dispositions (original sin, if you will) that have to be extinquished. One idea of childrearing and discipline is, therefore, instructive; it is a matter of teaching children social skills and attitudes. The other conception of childrearing and discipline is punitive, a matter of stamping out misbehavior through punishment.
The difference in our starting conceptions of discipline is important because it determines how we look at, and treat, what we as adults label misbehavior. First of all, and most importantly, when we view discipline as a learning experience we will look at so-called misbehavior as an opportunity for instruction.”
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Comments (3)
Displaying All 3 CommentsDimensions
Lincoln, NE, United States
Janine, I agree! We can always be learning from others at any age.
Sarker, "discipline" does have a harsh connotation. Great points!
The County of Simcoe
Midland, ON, Canada
In these examples, the adult holds all the knowledge and all the power. As co-learners, adults have as much to learn through every exchange as the child. I believe that when we begin to see ourselves as lifelong learners and question the binaries that hold us to adult as knower and teacher and child as student we can begin to learn and grow together.
Self employed
Dhaka, Bangladesh
Sorry, I am not convinced. 'Discipline' 'Punishment' are not child-friendly words and don't go with children. Children may be guided to discipline in a positive manner; not in a punitive way. It should be always a win-win approach and practice. We can guide them, but never instruct!
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