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Respecting Children Through Positive Talk
January 30, 2018
Caring is expansive and inclusive, available to all, and strengthened by the diversity of humanity.
-Carol Garboden Murray, Illuminating Care
-Carol Garboden Murray, Illuminating Care
"We should reframe the way we talk to children, and tell them what to do rather than what not to do," writes Mary Gersten in a new Out of the Box Training Kit, "Teaching With Respect." She provides this example of what she means:
"Amara was in the store with her mom. She had been given a balloon to hold. Her mom said to Amara, ‘Now don’t let it go.” Amara immediately let go of the string and watched it float to the ceiling. In her frustration, her mother yelled, ‘I said DON’T.’ The next time Amara was given a balloon, she said, 'Now hold the balloon tight.' Amara held the balloon, safely making it to the car with it still in her hand."
For a limited time, all Out of the Box |
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An article from Exchange magazine serves as a foundation for each Kit and is included as a handout. Each kit includes step-by-step instructions for preparing, conducting, and evaluating your training session. |
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Comments (1)
Displaying 1 CommentWorld Forum Foundation
Eugene, OR, United States
There is so much truth in this. It's simply cognitively or linguistically more challenging for children to process 'don't' than 'do.' They have to figure out what the action is ('let it go') and then translate the 'don't' into the opposite action ('hold on to it'), all the while their curiosity is making them wonder why, compelling the small scientist to experiment as the hand releases the balloon... 'Do' hold onto the balloon is easier to process, and while they hold on, they have time to ponder why. I used to work with a young boy with Down Syndrome who was very prone to hitting other children. As he wound up to strike, 'BJ, don't hit!' almost always failed, but 'BJ, put your hands in your pockets!' almost always worked. He'd do it and strike a 'cool' pose, along with the most charming smile. We then had the pause we needed to focus on what he had been feeling or trying to communicate by hitting.
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