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Dave Barry on Parenting
November 19, 2015
Perseverance is failing 19 times and succeeding the 20th.
-Julie Andrews, English film and stage actress
-Julie Andrews, English film and stage actress
When all the bad news in the world gets to be too much, I like to escape by reading Dave Barry. Last week I was doing just that when I discovered that even with Barry, I can't escape from thinking about our work. Here is some of what Barry had to say about his parents in his book, Live Right and Find Happiness:
"Above all, they did not worry about providing a perfect risk-free environment for their children. They loved us, sure. But they didn't feel obligated to spend every waking minute running interference between us and the world. They were parents, but they were not engaged 24/7 in what we have created, featuring many crucial child-rearing requirements that my parents' generation was blissfully unaware of.
"They didn't go to prenatal classes, so they didn't find out all the things that can go wrong when a person has a baby, so they didn't spend months worrying about those things.... They didn't form 'play groups' where they sat around worrying that their drooling baby was behind some other drooling baby in reaching whatever critical childhood development stage they read about in their 37 parenting handbooks written by experts, each listing hundreds, if not thousands of things they should worry about....
"They didn't worry that their children would get bored, so they didn't schedule endless after-school activities and drive their kids to the activities and stand around with other parents watching their children engage in the activities. Instead, they sent their children out to play."
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Comments (6)
Displaying 5 of 6 Comments [ View all ]Florida (FL), United States
In the 1950's, everything that was known about vision fit on ONE page in the medical encyclopedia. Our parents didn't know about as much about human development, because nobody knew.
I agree with the gist of the article: that children do not benefit from our over-involvement and that giving our children free time to design on their own, and to play outdoors, is an essential gift. This is a message that today's parents need to add to their storehouse of knowledge.
However, there is no need to over-romanticize about the past. My uncle was often taken out behind the shed to have some sense knocked into him (yes punched and beaten) and my mother was thrown into a closet with a bible and flashlight (and told to repent when she made a mistake).
Is Dave Barry funny? Sure! But he is a comedian, not a child development specialist. Let's give our parents the information and support that will help them to feel confident in their decisions...and to best serve the needs of their families (and not give them some line about how much better things were before THEY had kids).
Lawrence, ks, United States
Truer words couldn’t have been spoken! Parenting also becomes a more joyful experience when children are given freedom (within safe boundaries) to explore the environment and learn from their endeavors.
Watch Me Grow Academy
Southern Pines, NC, United States
We cannot compare our parents 'norm' with the 'norm' of today.
I agree that we can sometimes go to extremes. But that can be said almost about
anything-diet changes, life-style, housing, cars etc.
To live in the 21st Century and to LEAD in the 21st Century, will take a different mid-set then what our
parents had. As Americans, it is time to burst free of the bubble we live in, and see the world for what
it is. We need to change on all levels to be successful.
As parents, grand-parents,caregivers, we MUST be cognizant of what we are capable of accomplishing, not hold back. Provide our children with varied experiences. Realize that we live in a GLOBAL world. We all need
to make a strong committment to our values, both moral and ethical.
Todays families are not yesterdays families. Do not fear change. Embrace it and learn to grow with it.
Be AMERICA strong!!!!
Office of Child Care( MSDE)
Eldersburg, Maryland, United States
The article is just so true . Many parents feel they need to schedule their children. Basic playing outdoors is so forgotten. Growing up in a neighborhood with so many children you are going to find a game of kickball or dodge. or just friendship that can last a lifetime. Dave Barry is just so honest about real life. THANK YOU DAVE !!!!!!!!!!!
CSBC
Denver, CO, United States
This is rather strange. Several years ago I wrote a piece on parenting for the Rocky Mountain News, and I used a line from Dave Barry as the jumping off point. It was a line that I totally disagreed with (something about fathers who stay at home being wimps). Yes, there are parents who are overly indulgent and overly protective, but there many children in this country who would love for their parents to spend some time with them, learn appropriate discipline practices from a parenting book, intercede with at teacher who was being mean to them, and take them to at least one after-school activity! Lets not think that middle-class parents are the only parents in this country!
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