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Underestimating Character
February 16, 2015
The oak fought the wind and was broken; the willow bent when it must and survived.
-Robert Jordan

"If there's one thing I hope to get right in my children, it's their CORE. Character, moral fiber, an inner compass ... these things lay the foundation for a happy, healthy future.  They matter more than any report card or trophy ever will." This is the observation of Kari Kampakis in her Huffington Post article, "10 Common Mistakes Parents Today Make (Me Included)."  She continues...

"None of us can force character on our kids, and at age 10 or 15 character won't mean much. Children care about short-term gratification, but we, as parents, know better. We know that what will matter at 25, 30, and 40 is not how far they once threw the football, or whether they made cheerleader, but how they treat others and what they think of themselves. If we want them to build character, confidence, strength, and resilience, we need to let them face adversity and experience the pride that follows when they come out stronger on the other side.

"It's hard to see our children fall, but sometimes we have to. Sometimes we have to ask ourselves whether intervening is in their best interest. There are a million ways to love a child, but in our quest to make them happy, let us stay mindful that sometimes it takes short-term pain to earn long-term gain."





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Comments (3)

Displaying All 3 Comments
Peter Gebhardt · February 16, 2015
House of Neuville
Dallas, TX, United States


I agree Francis...;)

Peter Gebhardt · February 16, 2015
House of Neuville
Dallas, TX, United States


When children are allowed to play, or do their work, as we early childhood educators call it, which we know is the truth of the matter, they have a myriad of opportunities to experience cognitive dissonance, which builds everything in all categories, for children, in ways we can only begin to quantify. Just sit in on a playtime in a kindergarten classroom to experience the wonder of children building their worlds together. Google cognitive dissonance, if you're not familiar with it.

Francis Wardle · February 16, 2015
Center for the Study of Biracial Children (CSBC)
Denver, CO, United States


I find it rather strange that this issue is always presented as an either-or scenario. We all know children who are constantly expected to achieve without any adult intervention, and these children soon develop low self-esteem and low self-efficacy. Why do we not address this issue like we do other learning situations: provide scaffolding and then reduce the scaffolding as the child learns to solve their own problems and begins to stand up for themselves? Its not an either or issue!



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