In their new book, Social Emotional Tools for Life, Michelle M. Forrester and Kay M. Albrecht advise...
"When children are upset, it's natural to want to comfort them by making their big feelings go away. Emotions don't need fixing. We don't want to remove emotions from a child's experience.... We suggest that teachers resist the urge to tell children they should feel differently than they do.
"Instead, focus on helping children name the way they are feeling and manage their intense emotions. Recognize and validate that the emotions are present and real to the child. Then, connect intense emotions to appropriate behaviors (such as taking deep breaths or sitting in a cozy corner) and teach children to use problem-solving skills, like calling for help from an adult or making a plan to get what they want. This helps children manage how they feel without dismissing their feelings."
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This is so interesting to me. I have a colleague who is very aware that her own emotions become intertwined with the children's emotions. She is acutely uncomfortable with aggression and anger, and her first line of action is to get it to stop (with a hugging/comforting approach). She works hard to allow the children to own their emotions, but then is left dealing with her own reaction. It's been quite challenging for her, but she is working on it.
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