In Heart-Centered Teaching Inspired by Nature, Nancy Rosenow talks about the importance of self-esteem...
"I remember as a child being told by my grandmother that I'd better be sure I wasn't getting 'too big for my britches.' My second grade teacher used a favorite line often: 'None of you are geniuses, so you'd better work hard if you ever want to amount to anything.' I'm sure both of those admonitions were delivered with well-meaning intent, but what I absorbed from them was a worry about thinking too highly of myself. While it's true that placing too much emphasis on helping children develop 'self-esteem' can (and does) backfire, I believe placing too much emphasis on humility can be just as counter-productive.
"Once, during a workshop for teachers, I asked people to describe qualities they appreciate about themselves and was met with awkward silence. One woman finally said, 'I don't think I have any qualities I appreciate.' I found it sad and a bit frightening that someone whose work it is to help children develop into their full potential hadn't allowed herself to celebrate her own. Allowing ourselves to recognize and appreciate our unique talents and skills is not conceit. It is an important part of being able to live fully and authentically."
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Comments (5)
Displaying All 5 CommentsMelbourne, Victoria, Australia
I hope you will share with Exchange readers the work of Psychologist Kristen Neff on self esteem and self compassion. See her website. Most people have deeply embedded fears about not being "good enough". Understanding and being compassionate to oneself enables understanding and compassion for others. Educators' wellbeing and attitudes can have a profound impact on children.
Self-employed consultant
Dallas, Tax, United States
When ece staff have a healthy appreciation of themselves, and honestly love themselves, they are ready to be supportive with young learners, and other staff members.
CSBC
Denver, United States
I generally concur with this sentiment. When I teach college students about self-esteem, self confidence, and self-efficacy, I always tell them, "there is only one person you are going to have to live with for the rest of your life, and that is you. So you need to learn to like yourself".
However, I find it interesting that we discuss this issue without addressing the bigger issue (regarding workers in the field): clearly as a society we do not respect people who work with young children, and do not provide them with societal rewards and acknowledgement for their work.
Red Bank, NJ, United States
How this resonates with me. For so many girls (not so much boys) growing up in the 50's and 60's, any form of confidence was seen as conceit. Then there was a change; every little thing a child did was applauded and praised (good job!). Now we may have struck a balance--understanding what it is that children really need (in addition to love and kindness)-interest, attention, respect--not empty praise. So that's a good thing. However, I find it interesting that when I talk with teachers and say that I decided to work with young children because I discovered I was good at it, there are still people who seem uncomfortable--as though I am bragging. Then I ask, "Why would you decide to go into such an important profession, unless you think you are good at it?" Another funny thing is when children respond, "I know I am!" after an adult compliments them. Some of us are so delighted with that--others are still uncomfortable with it. This topic would make a good staff meeting chat. : )
Thanks so much for this piece!
Spirit Child Yoga & ECE
Aurora, ON, Canada
Just wanted to say that this book is inspirational. I highly recommend it.
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