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"If it doesn't absorb you, if it isn't any fun, don't do it."
�"D.H. Lawrence

HOW TO TURN SETBACKS INTO SUCCESS

Writing in Bottom Line/Personal (http://www.bottomlinesecrets.com), John C. Maxwell of the Injoy Group reports that what separates achievers from the also-rans is the ability to accept failure and learn from it.  He observes that "Failing forward" is the only way to take advantage of new opportunities for success, and offers these tips:

*  Don't take all the blame for failure. No one fails simply because he/she isn't "good enough." Fight the urge to assume all the blame -- that is crushing. Instead: Think through all the reasons for the failure, and put your own role in proper perspective. People who overcome failure tend to be those who don't take it personally. They don't see themselves as failures. They see themselves as people who have failed.

*  Take action to reduce your fear.  Once it is clear that you have failed at something, you may be reluctant to act until you can convince yourself that all possibility of failing again has been eliminated. Of course, it's impossible to remove all possibility of failure -- so you wind up in a state of paralysis.  To free yourself to take action, accept the real possibility that you will fail again -- but also acknowledge that each failure offers a new chance to learn and move ahead.

*  Change yourself, and your world changes. If you keep failing in the same area, it is likely that the problem lies with you -- and not with the situation in which you find yourself.  Do you need to improve your skills? Did you pick the right people with whom to work?  Only by understanding your role in the failure -- and knowing what you must do differently next time -- can you profit from the experience.  If you're unable to answer these questions on your own, seek help. People who first failed but later succeeded at a similar task are well positioned to spot what you did wrong -- and to help you change to minimize your risk of failing again.

*  When you succeed, look for bigger challenges. If you don't fail at least occasionally, you're not stretching yourself. You're avoiding failure by staying in the same safe rut. Once you stop challenging yourself, you cease to grow. Just as you shouldn't let failure grind you down, don't let success lull you into complacency. Don't let a string of successes convince you that you have somehow "arrived." No one ever really "arrives." The best we can hope for is to maintain a state of personal growth.

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