ExchangeEveryDay Past Issues

We do often fall into the complaining game as things feel over powering. As complaining is a coping startegy for some, it can be very distracting for others. As we do with children, so we must do with adults. The empowerment of children gives them some control and the ability to make decisions that they are responsible for. The same is true of adults. As they take control of their environment, they are vested in the decisions and less likely to complain. They are now responsible in part for what is happening and would only be critical of themselves by complaining. It is important for all employees to have a feeling of power in their work place. It is true that they have to have definate guidelines, as do children, to exercise their power, but empowering people makes for people engaged in their environment as opposed to those in a world of "do's" and "don'ts".

Some problems really are in the realm of others: I appreciate and encourage those who can see it but not solve it. I find that this kind of complainer is useful and the tone changes from strident to confidential when the input is appreciated.

The other kinds of chronic complainers are often those who have difficulty sorting out complex information. The constant complaining allows them to float their misperceptions. I see it as a smoke-screened way of getting clarification - a ruse to cover the insecurity and anxiety that accompanies chronic confusion.
Chronic complainers have settled for rigid thinking. They often expect information to be delivered in "soundbytes", but are frustrated when these are inadequate. The task of understanding often requires real work: absorbing and retaining information, applied critical thinking, persistence, discussion and willingness to learn are required. Some can be turned into allies - but it takes fortitude and a clear communication style.

It makes me wonder if we should practice with chronic complainers what we have been taught to do when working with young children. Would it help break the cycle if we put the ball back in their court and get them involved in problem solving and coming up with creative solutions to the problems? I'm hoping that there will be a follow-up article giving some examples of strategies we can use to help people who struggle with chronic complaining.

I keep asking myself: How do we break the cycle of chronic complaining. Unfortunately we get into the cycle by complaining about the complainers. I just ordered the book advertised in today's article and I hope it has specific suggestions. We waste so much valuable time. The problem is not unique to child development; it is rampant in our whole society as far as I can tell. By the way, the problem is described well in Mary Hohman & David Weikart, Education Young Children, High/Scope Press. It describes different ways that people operate in meetings.
Katie

Chronic complainers have nothing better to do. They rely on someone else to come up with a solution to the problem. Unfortunately, these kinds of people are in every workplace. Remember our children at the Child Care Center are observing our every move. We are supposed to be positive role models for the little people we care for.