ExchangeEveryDay Past Issues

As people who care about the treatment and emotional health of children, most of us understand the developmental inevitability of learned, offensive words issuing from the mouths of babes. We also strive to model rich, culturally familiar language that always avoids the use of offensive or hurtful words.

The real issue here is that it seems as though someone taught or encouraged a two year old "actor" to use an adult word that he doesn't understand as a joke to entertain. Very young children in entertainment may often get a very distorted undsertanding of what is or is not acceptable to say or do. Audience members seem to react to the impact on adult senstivities and not the impact of the entertainment industry on the children involved.

I remember reading many years ago that visitors to foreign countries pick up the swear words, because of the inflections and exclamations that often accompany the swear words being used. I would imagine similarly this is
why these words catch young children's attention as well.

Of course children will say swear words if they hear them. If you don't want children to swear, declare their environments no swear zones. Turn the television off! Writers are looking for laughs, ratings and money. Obviously they are not advocates for children.

About preschool swearing. I have worked with preschoolers for 17 years and, though yes they are in the stage of "potty talk" the only way they use true swear words is if they HEAR them spoken. They get the inflection down perfectly because children imitate. They rarely know exactly what it means only what it feels like when they hear it, feel it and see it being used. To accept this as"just normal" is an excuse. If you don't want to have or hear preschoolers swear, don't use the words around them!

when i was a child my mother would say some interesting words in french when she was mad. by the time i was about 6 i had the accent down and exploded at a sister with "emutadsi salveamahd!" (spelled phonetically). My mother burst out of the house scolding me for talking like that. I told her that those words are what she said when SHE is mad, and I was mad! She was very sheepish and explained that it was not okay to say it and she would not say it any more....then told me what i had said.....'god damn it all to hell'. I had no idea what i was saying.....neither do our toddlers and preschoolers today. they get the inflection and they get a nice response. it is as simple as that. and they will NOT say words they have not HEARD !

The correct word is "weighed In" on an opinion; to give weight to something. NOT "waded in" as someone going into water. Embarrassing.

The experiences children have during their first years of life can significantly impact their perceptions of self-worth, morality, and their ability to trust those in authority. We contribute to their feelings of inadequacy and shame when we send confusing messages about what is acceptable behavior (and in this instance language). I am challenged to think twice about my behaviors (especially speech) each time I see something like this. It breaks my heart to see a parent sabotage their child’s development. I found several reasons for eliminating curse words from a child’s environment online, here are a few:
1. It's a commonly accepted thought that people who use profanity have no other words to express themselves. “Some people who use that sort of language have a very limited vocabulary. They don’t know many words, so they pull out those boring old swear words and use them" (Cline and Fay, 2006). Parenting With Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibly.
2. We live in a society that frowns upon the use of foul language and can be easily offended by it. Even if you personally do not feel there is anything wrong with cursing, the rest of the world does, and it's an unacceptable way to speak.
3. People (such as friends, employers, recruiters for college, etc.) will think less of you when you curse and your own level of self-respect will be negatively impacted. Profanity gives people a bad impression about you and they will think that you either lack control or you are immature.
I thought the singer, Anita Baker said it best: “We don't…use profanity. Instead we instill morals and values in my boys by raising them with a love of God and a love and respect for themselves and all people. I believe they will have a chance.”

As I read the Exchange today, I was quickly reminded of the short poem, Children Learn What They Live, by Dorothy Law Nolte.

As I read the quotes from the researchers, I couldn't help but wonder: Don't children deserve MORE from the adults in their culture who serve as their role models...and wouldn't that include those who are the writers for television shows?

yes, We are hearing ALOT of curse words from our toddlers and preschoolers. The teachers and I were just commenting, "what ever happened to poopy-head!" It has been replaced by some very different adjectives.

Children can be taught what words can be used where. At our school I issue a one page list of Words Not to Use at School, with the message, "How your family chooses to talk outside of school is a family decision, but at school we will redirect children to other words if they use words on this list. Adults and children are expected to abide by these guidelines.

Modern Family is my favorite show. It shows an extended family at its worst and at its best and mostly, in a realistic manner. Yes, toddlers do swear (and every family has members who are smart, speak another language, have phobias, are gay, etc etc). I felt the most important point of Lily's swearing was that she continued to swear because her father laughed when she did. Lily swore a few times, which elicited laughter from her dad. Then horrors of horrors, when she saw her dad crying at a wedding, she let out with the f--- word again. And what happened? The entire congregation laughed, and so did she as she was carried out by her dad.
Lesson for learning? It's not the swearing by the toddler that is "indecent," but the reaction by the adults around her which might be confusing to her.

1st off,t he young 4 year old who actually spoke the word did not actually say the "F" word but said Fudge and then it was edited to reflect a curse word. Secondly, I do agree with research that it is embedded in the brain and children of all ages hear that type of language everyday somewhere. Children used to just say the words without any meaning however, now children are becoming more "street smart" and are able to put the words into context. The issue here is to teach right from wrong, of what is acceptable or not.