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Difficult Supervisory Conversations
March 3, 2010
Only with heightened coping skills will we be able to rise above our shell shock and be who we want to be. All of us have the capacity to do this, and when we do, we will increase our own happiness and be of greater service to those around us.
-Mary Piper, psychologist and author
-Mary Piper, psychologist and author
As a supervisor you may find it necessary to have conversations with employees who are not performing well. While we don't like the name of the book, Bad Apples: How to Manage Difficult Employees, Encourage Good Ones to Stay, and Boost Productivity (Avon, MA: Adams Business, 2009), we did find the advice it offered on conducting such a conversation to be helpful:
- Avoid confrontation. A discussion between a manager and employee should never become a confrontation pitting one person against the other. There is nothing in the dynamic that will improve the situation.
- Don't be afraid of silence. If you feel like things are escalating or becoming confusing, take a deep breath and a moment to gather your thoughts.
- Keep your annoyance to yourself. Sometimes it can be useful to let someone know how much they have annoyed you or made your life difficult, but in most situations it just muddies the waters. Treat the employee with respect and the conversation will be much smoother.
- Give your employee room to speak. Refusing to let your employee offer an explanation will cause resentment, so allow him some time to account for his behavior.
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Comments (6)
Displaying All 6 CommentsCondon Child Care
Condon, OR, United States
Learning not only how to communicate as a supervisor but to listen as well has been the biggest challenge for me professionally. It takes a lot of hard work and dedication to improve yourself and for me I intend on being an attraction to my staff. It's not very attractive to not give them the respect due them, this is a very challenging profession that is under- recognized and acknowlegded. I love my staff , the good, the bad and the bumpy!
Tanzania Early Childhood Development Network
Dar es Salaam, Tanzania, United Republic of
I totally I agree with the points as presented in the article. As managers and directors, our role is to encourage good behavior and practice among our employees. Obviously we are different but the best we can be logical is to listen, reason out before we make conclusions against our subordinates. The article is very useful!
Fortidas Bakuza.
Newton, NJ, United States
Gasp, Iam shocked by some of the comments. Perhaps if we set the bar high, model, and paralell process we will find good apples or help unripe fruit to ripen. Projecting our own cynicism can be disasterous as well. We want our teachers to think the best of children and treat them inkind...we need to think the best of our staff and treat them inkind. I'm getting down off my soap box now.
Highland Plaza Preschool
Chattanooga, Tennessee, United States
I have found the book Difficult Conversations by Stone, Patton and Heen most helpful over the years.
United States
I wonder why you don't like the name of the book. All organiztions have a few "bad apples" whose poor attitude and complacency can negatively impact the other staff. We have had our share of people whose main focus seems to be how to take as much time off as possible.
Our experience has been that the more you give to employees the more they want and expect. Committment to work is lacking in our younger generations.
Cypress, TEXAS, United States
Employees become Complacent. That spark you see in the 1st 3 months or 6 months fizzles and they start to do the minimum.
They blame the kids, the building, the other employees, and the Director because she was not in a panic when she talked with them.
Good, loyal, hard working employees are rare and sometimes over looked or not recognized.
Daycare/Child Care has the highest unemployment rates.
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