ExchangeEveryDay Past Issues

thanks for the work you are doing to bring up the kids.
in case one wants to be trainded to help in bringing up kids in proper way what can she do.can she be sponsered or not.

could not understand

I think Dr. Bruce Perry sums up our dilema here in the US quite well when he says concerning children,

"If 20 million people were infected by a virus that caused anxiety, impulsivity, aggression, sleep problems, depression, respiratory and heart problems, vulnerability to substance abuse, antisocial and criminal behavior, retardation and school failure, we would consider it an urgent public health crisis. Yet, in the United States alone, there are more than 20 million abused, neglected and traumatized children vulnerable to these problems. Our society has yet to recognize this epidemic, let alone develop an immunization strategy."

Oops, it's supposed to be--stop looking at the US and adopting US things, such as longer work days, both parents working, which I believe helped put the US so low.

Barbara,

Re: countries looking up to the US. Yes, it is really amazing to me how much the US is a role model to other countries. Others want to be like the US, even though they may disagree with it's military strategy at this time and dislike the president, Americans do not realize the impact their country has on the world. This is one of my big concerns that the countries, namely the Netherlands, over here will stop looking to the US as how they should do things and start adopting US things that helped put it at the bottom.

As this was announced in Netherlands last week I am happy to live in the country rated first in child well-being. I further began to read the entire report I was shocked and saddened to see the low place the US has in many of the factors, even when poorer countries are factored into the equation, which you will see if you read the 52 page document. It did make me feel a bit embarrassed to be an American and I hope serves as a wake up call to people in position to reverse some of those low scores, all you advocates keep at it. I would like to shed some light from the Netherlands and what I observe here as to why I would say the Netherlands came in top and the US didn't rate so well.

First, parents, mother and father, spend much more time with their children here and grandparents play a major role in their grandchildren's lives, often living in the same area. Most mothers do not work and, if they do, most work part time, maybe only 2 days or a few hours 3-5 days. A full time job is generally 36 hours, some politicians want that to change to 40 for all, overtime is frowned upon and double taxed as you are seen as taking a job from someone else if you have to do so much work, of course there are the rare exceptions to this. There's also more paid vacation, at least 6 weeks, so just considering that alone children have both parents more than in the US. Families take at least one vacation per year going some place together, if only camping here in the Netherlands. Most children, especially in the more populated areas, live within walking distance from at least 1 school, where children can go from 4 years must go at 5 till around age 12, and all walk or ride a bike to school. In the area I live there are 4 schools very close and another 4 within an easy, no more than 10 minute, walk. Parents have a choice of which school to place their child in. An example is my niece lives in a suburb right across a one lane dead end street from a school and there's another school a bit further. She visited both schools before her youngest entered school and ended up choosing the school further away because of the feel she got from the school upon visiting, more friendly, answered more of her questions, just that motherly feel. The school nearest her other people prefer for different reasons, they're not lacking for students. How many parents in the US can freely choice the school their child will attend, especially without a lot of paperwork? Most schools begin at 8:30, children then walk home for lunch which is from 12-1:15, and school is out 3-3:15. If parents work children go to someone else's house for lunch or they eat at school and parent volunteers oversee the children. After eating they are free to go outside to play. Though some class sizes are large, in the 30's for the older grades, schools are smaller and have more of a community feel in populated areas. Wednesday in these elementary schools children get out at 12 for the lower groups and 12:45 for the higher groups. This is when children have practice for a sport or pursue another extracurricular activity. Children only have homework in the upper groups or if they are having a problem with something. Parents read to children and there are spelling words to practice but 5 year olds are not coming home with home work as I saw in the US.

This also means that children are not drug out of bed at 5, 6, or 7 a.m., or earlier, rushed to get ready or bundled and put in the car to go to day care. I worked in military childcare for 10 years, the private sector for another 5, and was an NAEYC validator and this is what I saw in the US and then children are left in someone else's care till 5 or 6 p.m. While there are some children in that situation here and there is talk of that increasing, trying to be like America, which I pray they never do, it is very few.

Second, children freely play outside without a parent right there because there isn't the fear of abduction or violence. The first time I came here it was so foreign to me to see even small children, 3-4 years, playing outside without supervision and I live in a 90% Turkish, Moroccan, and Antillian neighborhood. It's just much safer here. Yes, things do happen, another "American" thing the Dutch fear increasing here, but it's seldom, and the only people abducting children are parents in the situation of a divorce with a foreigner and the parent takes the child(ren) back to their home country. Children can just be children here.

Third, health care is free to all under the age of 18. Nurses go into homes of newborns daily for the first 2 weeks and continue visiting as they see needed for 6 more weeks, parents also go to a Consultation Bureau every month for the first year then every 3 months until a child goes to school. Here development is assessed and immunizations received. The Bureaus are again located in communities within an easy walk for most people. (There's no or pay parking in cities, gas is expensive, the road tax on a car is expensive--based on the weight of the car and paid quarterly, so most only have 1 car used by the working parent.) Once children enter school there are school doctors, as they're called, available for children's health. There are also Parent and Children centers within communities which offer various classes and some loan out toys and learning materials, it very much depends on the area you live what's available. Community Centers then plan events for school age children. Like this is a week of vacation and every community center has an afternoon activity planned, like going to a movie, a "disco", going to a swimming pool, all are free or a minimal fee, the highest being swimming at 2 Euros, everything else with a fee is 75 cents.

Fourth, parents receive quarterly "children's money" till a child turns 16. It's based on how old the child is and how many children there are in a family. This is supposed to help the parents in providing for their child, like with the extracurricular activities. People are better provided for overall. You don’t find homeless families here.

Fifth, there aren't taboo subjects as there are in the US so children are freer to talk to their parents about sex, drugs, life, it's all treated as just normal life here so I believe it leads to less experimentation, teens getting in less trouble, and more open conversation with parents and grandparents. This is also a very frank country, tell it like it is, which leads children to be freer to speak what’s on their mind.

Sixth, children have a lot less material things than most children in the US. Besides not so much being available, there's just not the room here as in the US. They must be more creative and spontaneous and play outside a lot. This goes to prove what I think we all know, material items do not bring child well being!

As far as standardized tests go, they 're here also, children in the highest Group took a big one last week the scores of which, along with the teachers and parents input, will determine which of 3 educational paths a child will pursue, which I find a bit early. Teachers do complain that they have to teach to the test, so it happens here too. (Younger groups have other standardized tests taken later in the year.)

I believe the reason the US rated last of the 25 countries that data was obtained in Health & Safety, is two-fold. First, the US was 32nd of all 38 countries data was obtained from in Infant Mortality. I attribute this to the fact that live births are attempted on all babies, such as the 22 week in utero baby that went home Tuesday(?) in Florida now at 4 pounds, in the US. It was discussed here as the Netherlands only will attempt a live birth if a fetus has reached 24 weeks because lungs are better developed and there's a greater chance the baby will survive. This would also account for the low ranking in birth weight. Second, in Deaths from Accidents and Injuries, another one of three factors looked at, the US sits at 25th of 32, bottom of the "rich" 21 nations, Netherlands is 3rd. That pretty much speaks to what I wrote of earlier.

How disturbing to read something we already know. Our priorities are so messed up. Spending billions for military expenditures and breaking up families so one or both of young children's parents can fight others conflits are just two of the reasons we ended up at the bottom of the list. How embarassing, and how much will other countries look up to us as a role model to change the world positively if we don't protect and nurture our greatest resource- our children. But then I am just preaching to the choir as anyon who reads this is already committed to children and their optimal development.

There is no doubt that we are seeing steady increases in allergies and asthma, depression and autism, learning disabilities and hyperactivity disorders, obesity, and type 2 diabetes. Every year teachers and pediatricians report that picture is growing worse.




Multiple factors contribute to this decline: the growing pressures of developmentally inappropriate education for young children and high-stakes testing of children of all ages; far too much screen time and far too little time for child-initiated play; too little time spent outdoors in nature and in healthy physical activity; too few strong, consistent relationships with caring adults.
It is important that as advocates for young children and families we speak out about these issues so that we can begin to reverse this horrific trend.
How embarrassing that a nation like the United States should end up at the bottom of this list!