"More Than a Little Upset:" Building a Vocabulary of Feelings

In this video of a precious, vulnerable moment between parent and child, witness the power of being open to and naming the full range of children’s emotions.

Clearly, not every child will be so verbally expressive and we can look for other ways they share their feelings and experiences. In the Exchange Reflections "Attuning to Emotional Needs," Virmani, Hatton-Bowers, and Nagase note the importance of connecting with our own internal state as a starting point: When we acknowledge our own feelings, we empower ourselves by making more room for the experience of the child and engaging in ways that honor what they are trying to tell us: their need for us to attend to their internal experience, their need for affection, their need for us to help them navigate big and uncomfortable feelings, their need to move their bodies, their need for sleep or satisfying their hunger. When we deeply understand what children are trying to tell us through their behavior (e.g. the meaning underlying the behavior) then we can meet their needs.

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