For Rewarding Conversations, Level Up Your Listening

01/03/2023

For Rewarding Conversations, Level Up Your Listening

I never wish to offend, but I am so foolishly shy, that I often seem negligent, when I am only kept back by my natural awkwardness…
Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility

According to psychologist Joel Minden, good listeners make regular eye contact without staring. They also match facial and emotional expressions to the speaker’s. To become a better listener, practice your “interviewing skills.”

“By asking questions early in a conversation, you’re making it clear that learning about the other person is a priority and you’re not just there to talk about yourself,” notes Minden. Balance asking relevant questions with offering a personal connection.

Taking listening to the next level involves offering reflective responses, mirroring back both what the speaker says and the underlying emotions; extending ideas and connecting information, and above all, to do so without trying to solve the other’s problems or to drive the conversation to something important to you only.

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