Becoming Better Listeners

07/27/2022

To be heard, you must speak the language of the one you want to listen.
Robin Wall Kimmerer, Author and Botanist

“When we learn to sharpen our looking and listening, and cultivate a disposition of respect and curiosity towards children, we find ourselves learning and improving our relationships with them. Isn’t this what parents deserve from us as well?” So writes Margie Carter in The Art of Leadership: Engaging Families.

“Listening 101 is straightforward, but it’s surprising how many people don’t follow the rules of everyday conversation. It should go without saying, but if you want to be a good listener, avoid interrupting or abruptly changing the subject,” writes Kristin Wong in The Cut. She goes on to suggest honing your interviewing skills – asking questions early in a conversation, particularly ones that show you’re genuinely interested, and paying close attention to details to help with followup questions.

In another article in The Art of Leadership: Engaging Families, Holly Elissa Bruno suggests open-ended “Ask and Listen” questions. Examples include:

Tell me about your child.
What activities does your family like to do together?
What is important to you in raising your child?
How was your weekend/vacation/afternoon together?
What are ways your child feels comforted, soothed?
Is there anything you would like me to know about your child?

She continues, “If I can ASK AND LISTEN, I may be able to find common ground. I may be able to find that quieter place inside myself where I relax my ego and open myself to wonderment.”

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