Challenging Behaviors as Opportunities for Building Relationships

04/21/2022

Challenging Behaviors as Opportunities for Building Relationships

Action has meaning only in relationship, and without understanding relationship, action on any level will only breed conflict. The understanding of relationship is infinitely more important than the search for any plan of action.
Jiddu Krishnamurti (1895 – 1986), Philosopher

"We are taught that sharing behavior reports will help us to build relationships with families, to engage families in their children’s success and to collaborate with families. What if instead we are disrupting relationships, undermining our own expertise, or potentially harming children?" asks early childhood professional and podcaster Heather Bernt-Santy, in the provocatively titled upcoming Exchange magazine article, “Stop Tattling on Children.” She continues, "If we see developmentally typical behaviors such as hitting, not sharing, not napping, or leaving circle time as morally right or wrong, we will make poor choices about sharing with families. If we understand that behavior is about development, we are more likely to share appropriately and effectively with families."

Bernt-Santy will join colleague Mike Huber on Tuesday, May 3, 7:00-8:30 pm Eastern (NY), in a live online conversation hosted by Exchange magazine Editor-in-Chief Sara Gilliam and Kirsten Haugen of Exchange Press. By focusing on those times when children’s behaviors truly challenge us, Huber and Bernt-Santy invite a shift from compliance and defiance to understanding these challenges as an indication of a mismatch between a child’s current skills or state and the expectations and environment around them. They’ll uncover the possibilities that arise when making this shift, and explore through real-life stories, how focusing on co-regulation and relationships helps us team up with each child with a shared goal of developing new skills.

Audience participants are invited to contribute to the conversation as the speakers discuss the nuances of sharing these emerging skills with families in ways that welcome them onto the team. They will consider ways both teachers and families can feel enriched by compassionate and developmentally appropriate approaches for aligning with and supporting children whose behaviors challenge us most.

For more information about Exchange's magazine, books, and other products pertaining to ECE, go to www.ccie.com.