Teaching with Respect; Resolving Conflicts Together

An article on the Child Mind website acknowledges that the time to teach people conflict resolution skills is in the early years: “Teaching kids practical skills to manage [conflicts] in a healthy way will help them navigate everything from small squabbles...to big issues…both now and as they grow up.”

In the Out of the Box Training, “Teaching with Respect,” an article by Mary Gersten provides practical strategies that help adults and children work together to manage conflict in respectful ways. “Teachers and students are meant to be partners in problem solving,” she writes. “It is not about the adults jumping in to ‘fix’ things for children; instead, it is about all sides coming together to arrive at a solution that works best for everyone.”

Gersten provides eight steps to conflict resolution, explaining that “these steps really work, regardless of who the parties involved are. When the problem is between an adult and a child, it is important for the teacher to play the same supportive role as they would if they were not directly involved in the incident.

Steps to conflict resolution:

1. Remaining calm when approaching the problem.
2. Stopping all hurtful actions and words.
3. Acknowledging the children’s feelings.
4. Gathering as much information about the incident as possible.
5. Restating the problem.
6. Asking for ideas for solutions.
7. Choosing one of the solutions presented by the children, if possible.
8. Being prepared to follow up with additional support.”

It’s important to note that children may not be ready for this type of problem solving in the heat of the moment – when emotions are sky high. Allowing for a “cool down” time is often the key to successful conflict resolution.

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