Are Young Children Selfish?

One of Teacher Tom's blog posts grapples with the question of whether young children are selfish. Tom writes:

“Some time ago I found myself in a friendly debate with an early childhood professional who I hold in high esteem. He argued that young children are essentially selfish. Not that he was judging them, but rather, he believed, the ability to view the world unselfishly was a developmental stage that most preschoolers had not reached.

I've not found that to be true. Certainly, young children can be selfish, just like all of us, and some of them tend to be more selfish than others, but every day, all around me, I see young children disproving my esteemed colleague's theory. What I do see are children objecting to being told what to do. I see them sulking when commanded into sharing. I see them reacting angrily, sometimes even violently, to having something snatched from their hands, but, almost without fail, when a child asks for a portion or a turn, they receive it, usually gladly. Every day, I bring conflicts to an end, or even nip them in the bud, by simply pointing out, for instance, "Eleanor doesn't have any play dough." It's a piece of information that a young child might not have discerned on their own, but that once clearly stated will respond to by generously breaking off a piece of her own play dough for the child who has none.”

The Out of the Box Training, “Cultivating Compassionate Classrooms” reminds early care and education practitioners that, “Valuing and modeling authentic compassion is an important part of this work. We need to talk with children about empathy for others, their community, and their world. We share stories, certainly in humility, about what we, as well as others, can do to help those in need.”

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