Heart-Centered Support, Not Toxic Positivity

The book Heart-Centered Teaching Inspired by Nature includes many tools and exercises that encourage self-reflection and support. One exercise (below) helps move people from upset and judgment to gratitude without drifting into “toxic positivity” or denial of what is really happening. It simply helps people stop expending all their energy dwelling on “I’m upset because…” so that more of their energy can be used to strengthen resilient behaviors. Here’s how the exercise appears in the book:

“I invite you to begin cultivating an intentional attitude of acceptance – the first step in learning to live with more gratitude. For three days, simply observe your life with no judgment about how it ‘should’ be. Whenever you find yourself judging something as ‘good’ or ‘bad,’ gently remind yourself to simply focus on what is happening. ‘Just the facts’…

"Each night, write down some of your observations. Re-read your observations, and if you find you’ve used judgment words in your writing, change them to more neutral, descriptive words. [By the way, acceptance does NOT mean approval. When we accept reality and don’t waste too much energy complaining, we have more reserves of strength to help us take action and make positive change when needed.]

"After the first three days of acceptance, spend the next three days looking for reasons to be grateful. I invite you to see this as a light-hearted challenge. Each evening for those three days, write down at least ten reasons you found to be grateful that day. Can you find especially interesting or unexpected reasons to feel grateful? This six-day process is a technique you can use every so often to help keep your gratitude tool extra sharp.”

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