Don’t Take it Personally

A section in the book, Art of Leadership: Developing People, discusses the importance of developing relationships with and among staff, but explains that “the flip side of close positive relationships among staff” is that they can become “counterproductive” if people become so personally invested that they get their feelings hurt too easily and “spend more time reacting than working.”

The book quotes Dan Bobinski, author of Creating Passion Driven Teams (2009), who encourages leaders to “talk to staff about the difference between disagreement, tension and conflict. Disagreements are a part of life and are to be expected. It’s important to help people understand how disagreements can be expressed and heard in a positive way without ‘taking it personally.’ When disagreements are consistently placed on the table for discussion, with all issues fair game, Bobinski defines this as healthy conflict. When conflict is suppressed and kept unspoken, Bobinski defines this as tension. The leader’s goal should be to encourage and teach healthy conflict resolution, while discouraging unhealthy tension among people.”

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