Controlling Your Temper

11/04/2003

"To face despair and not give in to it, that's courage." - Ted Koppel

CONTROLLING YOUR TEMPER

Redford Williams, Duke University professor and author of Anger Kills: 17 Strategies for Controlling the Hostility That Can Harm Your Health (New York: HarperCollins; www.williamslifeskills.com ) observes that we pay a heavy price for anger — both in terms of strains on relationships and harm to our health. He offers these first aid tips:

Recognition: When you first become aware that you are getting angry, shout "Stop!" Obviously, if you are in public, you will make this a silent shout. For all its complexity, the mind obeys simple commands. Shouting "Stop" derails the anger-bound train so that it loses enough steam to be controlled.

Distraction: To get your mind off of your rage, focus on something else...recall a savory meal or imagine hiking through whispering pines.

Empathy: Try to see the situation from the other person's point of view. Always give him/her the benefit of the doubt.

Exercise: This strengthens your nervous system's built-in calming response. Your heart rate and blood pressure return to normal more quickly.

Meditation: This calms both body and mind. For 15 minutes a day, sit quietly, focusing your breath, saying a word like "peace" or "calm" with each exhale. After you have practiced for a while, you may be able to calm yourself in difficult situations by taking a few deep breaths.

Action: When there is good reason to be angry — because something can and should be changed — channel your energy. Tell the other person what is upsetting you. Describe how you feel about it — and make a simple request for a change.

To review and consider for purchase eight articles from Child Care Information Exchange on anger in the early childhood setting, go to: http://mail.ccie.com/go/eed/0027

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