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08/19/2013

How Babies Experience the World

What You Need to Be Warm
a poem by Neil Gaiman

A baked potato of a winter’s night to wrap your hands around or burn your mouth.
A blanket knitted by your mother’s cunning fingers. Or your grandmother’s.
A smile, a touch, trust, as you walk in from the snow
or return to it, the tips of your ears pricked pink and frozen.

The tink tink tink of iron radiators waking in an old house.
To surface from dreams in a bed, burrowed beneath blankets and comforters,
the change of state from cold to warm is all that matters, and you think
just one more minute snuggled here before you face the chill. Just one.
Places we slept as children: they warm us in the memory.
We travel to an inside from the outside. To the orange flames of the fireplace
or the wood burning in the stove. Breath-ice on the inside of windows,
to be scratched off with a fingernail, melted with a whole hand.

Frost on the ground that stays in the shadows, waiting for us.
Wear a scarf. Wear a coat. Wear a sweater. Wear socks. Wear thick gloves.
An infant as she sleeps between us. A tumble of dogs,
a kindle of cats and kittens. Come inside. You’re safe now.

A kettle boiling at the stove. Your family or friends are there. They smile.
Cocoa or chocolate, tea or coffee, soup or toddy, what you know you need.
A heat exchange, they give it to you, you take the mug
and start to thaw. While outside, for some of us, the journey began

as we walked away from our grandparents’ houses
away from the places we knew as children: changes of state and state and state,
to stumble across a stony desert, or to brave the deep waters,
while food and friends, home, a bed, even a blanket become just memories.

Sometimes it only takes a stranger, in a dark place,
to hold out a badly-knitted scarf, to offer a kind word, to say
we have the right to be here, to make us warm in the coldest season.

You have the right to be here.

Neil Gaiman

In The Philosophical Baby: What Children's Minds Tell Us About Truth, Love and the Meaning of Life, Alison Gopnik talks about the differences in the way adults and babies experience the world:

"...Babies are actually aware of much more, much more intensely than we are....  Instead of experiencing a single aspect of their world and shutting down everything else, they seem to be experiencing everything at once.  Their brains are soaked in cholinergic transmitters with few inhibitory transmitters to allay their effects.  And their brains, as well as their minds, are dramatically plastic, profoundly open to new experiences....

"But what does it feel like to be this way?...  Think about the adult experience of travel — particularly travels to an exotic place....  An adult in a strange place is like a baby in many ways.  There is a great deal of new information available at once.  And the traveler is not in a good position to make 'top-down' decisions beforehand about what kinds of information are going to be relevant.  Like the baby, the traveler's attention is likely to be caught by external objects and events, rather than determined by her own intentions and decisions."



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