Babies Raise their Parents

"Children influence their parents as much as parents influence their children," writes Alison Gopnik in The Philosophical Baby.  "Individual differences in the ways that children act lead to differences in the ways that parents act."

"The very same parent may treat two siblings very differently.  You can see this in extreme cases, such as cases of abuse.  Very often, one child in a family ends up being abused.  Sickly or irritable children seem especially vulnerable.  But it seems to happen in more ordinary cases, too.  Parents respond to different children in different ways and two siblings may, literally, grow up with very different parents....

"It's not just that it's impossible to interact with very different children in the same way.  In fact, even if you did exactly the same thing with each of your children, your actions would mean something different.  Put the wiggly, active, thrill-seeking sister in a bouncy swing and she is overjoyed.  Put the timid, shy, stay-close-to-home sister in the swing and she is terrified."

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