Rules as Behavior Modifiers

02/13/2013

Tell me and I'll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I'll understand.
Chinese Proverb

Marjorie Kostelnik, in her article, "Building Spaces, Finding Words — Creating the Context for Positive Discipline," which serves as the basis for the Out of Box Training Kit by the same name, talks about the appropriate establishment and enforcement of rules within a positive verbal environment. Here are few of her suggestions:

Encourage children to participate in the rule-making process. Conduct open-ended discussions in which children help to generate rules for the child care setting. Write these down and post them for children's future reference.
Establish only a few well-chosen rules at a time. When a child engages in behavior that annoys or concerns you, ask yourself the following questions:
— Is the child's behavior unsafe or unhealthy?
— Is the child's behavior damaging property?
— Is the child's behavior interfering with the rights of others?

If the answer to any of these questions is yes, be prepared to make a rule to fit the situation. If the answer is no, reconsider your reaction and avoid making an unnecessary rule.

Provide children with reasons why certain behaviors are acceptable or unacceptable. Reasons help children make sense of the rules they follow. Offer a reason every time you tell children how you would like them to behave. Link your reason to one of the three questions outlined above.
State rules in positive terms. Children are more successful at following rules that tell them what to do rather than what not to do.

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