Avoiding Competition with Parents

06/23/2003

Avoiding Competition with Parents

"Spilt water cannot be gathered up again." Japanese Proverb

AVOIDING COMPETITION WITH PARENTS

In "How to Work with Working Parents" in the June 1984 issue of Child Care Information Exchange, Ellen Galinsky offers this advice:

"The cornerstone of working successfully with employed parents is avoiding the tendency to get into a competitive relationship. This process involves empathy. When a parent, for example, gets upset that a teacher has forgotten to send a child's sweater home, a normal reaction for the teacher or director is to blame the parent for unreasonable behavior or to counterattack. That reaction, however heartfelt, is not helpful in building a collaborative relationship. If directors or teachers are bothered by a parent's reaction, they can find others (staff members, friends) to discuss what happened, and to figure out what to do. Seeking this help is useful in defusing tensions, resentments, or competition that would get in the way of the staff/parent relationship. In the presence of the parent, the teacher or director can say such things as 'You are really upset--can I help you?' or 'I find it hard to listen when you yell--but I can understand why you are upset. I felt that way once when my child lost his sweater.' Empathy and understanding are important tools in avoiding competition."

To support your parents in their parenting practices, why not subscribe to Parenting Exchange? Every month you will recieve via e-mail a column on a specific parenting topic that you can pass out to all the parents in your center. Check out Parenting Exchange at https://secure.ccie.com/catalog/cciecatalog.php?cPath=11.

For more information about Exchange's magazine, books, and other products pertaining to ECE, go to www.ccie.com.