Not All Parents Are Lovely

Most parents in your center are reasonable, rational, responsible, caring about their child, and sensitive.  But there are a few parents in every center who are difficult, demanding, critical, irresponsible, or uncooperative. 

This is the observation of Anne Stonehouse in her Exchange book, How Does it Feel?  Child Care from Families' Perspectives.  She points out...

"These people test the professionalism of teachers, especially home-based caregivers, where there is no relief and often no other adult present to provide support.  With these parents, try to understand where the behavior may be coming from, what purpose it serves.  For example, do they lack power in other areas of their lives?  What image do they have of themselves as people, as parents?

"It is often those parents who behave in ways that are least likely to elicit support and help, and are the ones most in need of it.  For example, parents who are critical of staff and who make unreasonable demands may be uncertain about their skills as parents, and see this as a misguided way of demonstrating that they are good parents. 

"In the same way that it is nonsense for staff to act as if they enjoy all children equally, it is not possible, not human, in fact, to like all parents equally.  In an atmosphere of professionalism, it should be acceptable for staff to talk about parents they have a hard time getting along with, parents they just can't warm up to.

"Just as with children, the aim with parents is not to love them or even like them, but to respect them and to work with them on behalf of their children."

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