03/21/2011
Rules of Feedback
Adults keep saying we owe it to the young people, to give them hope, but I don’t want your hope...I want you to panic…I want you to act.
Greta Thunberg, Swedish Youth Climate Activist
"So much of our learning, loving, and living with one another depends on negative feedback that you'd think we'd be better at it by now. Instead, criticism almost always feels hostile." This is the conclusion of Karen Wright in her Psychology Today article (March 2011), "A Chic Critique." Here are some of her "Rules of Effective Feedback:"
- Always lead with a question. How do you think you're doing? It gives the recipient ownership of the problem and helps him feel included, not excluded.
- Never give criticism unless it has been invited; unsolicited negative feedback only provokes annoyance and will be discounted.
- Distinguish whether a demand for change reflects your needs or a valid critique of how someone is doing something.
- Never give feedback when you are angry; anger alienates the listener. Expressing disappointment is more productive.
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