Behavior Communicates Needs

02/23/2011

I rose from marsh mud algae, equisetum, willows, sweet green, noisy birds and frogs.
Lorine Niedecker, 1903-1970, Poet

In her Exchange article, "Addressing Children’s Challenging Behavior" (January, 2011), Mary Gersten observes...

"All behavior has a reason, even if sometimes the reason is not a good one. Behaviors are strategies we use to draw attention to our needs. Children act out if they feel their needs (e.g. for affection, comfort, or security) aren’t being met. They are not mature enough to tell us in words which needs these are. The worst thing an adult can do is to ignore a child’s request for help (which is what the behavior is for), or to be afraid of an outburst. By dismissing the child, or giving into his demands without examining them, we are failing to acknowledge his feelings, and are not offering genuine support in helping him communicate his needs in a way that will get them met. Children look to adults for guidance in how to behave; we allow them to have their feelings in a safe environment, and prevent them from hurting themselves or others."

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