Difficult People

09/07/2010

Perhaps home is not a place but simply an irrevocable condition.
James Baldwin, American author, 1924-1987

Dennis Vicars, whose management advice appears in every issue of Exchange magazine, recently contributed these ideas for ExchangeEveryDay readers:

"Leading motivated people sure makes the art of management easier. In fact, we as leaders will all too often take far too much credit for a responsible person’s success. In fact, it’s similar to managing an operation during good times and somehow thinking you are a genius. We all seem smart when we are lucky enough to have the two above scenarios.

"Unfortunately, (or fortunately depending on your perspective), we often inherit, or mistakenly hire, the not so motivated or 'difficult people'. Attempting to reason with unreasonable people is tantamount to continually running your head into a wall. When you finally determine that the wall will not move, your headache goes away. If there is anything I’ve learned over my 35-plus years of management it is the following:

People’s inner core rarely changes. The only real change you can make is with you. You can change your approach, attitude, or change the personnel, but you will rarely change the person.
Pick your friends and employees wisely. Remaining around 'the difficult' more than necessary is toxic to you.
Accept the fact that some people are happy being miserable. Allow them their joy, but don’t put them in positions that affect your mission or bottom line.
Look for their positive contribution, whenever possible and praise the performance you want repeated; even though they’ll whine during the process.
Learn to manage around 'the difficult' when necessary.
When 'the difficult’s' return on investment is negative, cut your losses and make yourself happy."

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