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In her new book, Don't Get Upset! Help Young Children Manage Their Feelings by Understanding Your Own (Redleaf Press), Tamar Jacobson offers this commentary on discipline:
"Children love their mamas and papas. So why do we hurt children to teach them? For example, when they are very young, and they learn to curse by imitating the group of adults they adore, why do we wash their mouths out with soap, put pepper on their tongues, or inflict other such punishment? Why can't we, instead, hold young children close and seriously, earnestly, tell them that we love them and that when they use those curse words, it makes us all feel unsafe?
Young children need adults for their survival. They need us to approve of and love them, to guide them with kindness and compassion so that they will grow to be humane. Thinking of those innocent, trusting, yearning, curious, mischievous, needy eyes, I wonder why we hurt children to teach them."
Exchange has a number of extremely helpful resources for supporting teachers in dealing with children with challenging behaviors:
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