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08/08/2008

How to Apologize

I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being.
Hafiz of Shiraz

The August issue of Wired magazine includes many "how to" tips including how to build an army of followers, how to donate money, how to dress like a hipster, how to pretend to be working, and how to win at rock, paper, scissors. Here are their suggestions on how to apologize:

  1. Come clean quickly. Even a heartfelt apology loses its luster after a string of denials and equivocations.... You look like you fessed up only because you got cornered.
  2. Take the rap. A good apology is a clear admission of guilt. Avoid the passive voice ("mistakes were made") or weasel words ("I'm sorry if you...") that shift blame onto others — especially the person you wronged.
  3. Make good. If material harm was done ... clean it up or pay for it. If the damage was emotional, list the steps you're taking to ensure that it never happens again.


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