Friendship as Thinking

04/04/2008

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.
Confucius

In the truly wonderful Exchange book (totally unbiased opinion), Connecting: Friendship in the Lives of Young Children and their Teachers, Carolyn Edwards shares this observation about friendships...

"I suspect that most of us have the rather naive view that friendship comes about because of like interests or good feelings. We fail to understand how much thinking and problem solving is involved in forming and holding onto friendships. Just think about the issues that even young children have to resolve: When they are new to a classroom, they have to figure out how to behave until they have a friend. When someone approaches, they have to work out how to engage that other child. If there is a fight or a struggle, children must find out how to win back a friend who is angry or hurt. Figuring out any one of these issues takes quite general problem solving skills. Children have to analyze what the problem is, they may have to solve it in steps, they may have to try several approaches. These complicated human situations also require keen observation — what worked last week with Robert may not work today with Beth.

"Too often in classrooms we act as if inquiry and analysis are skills that belong exclusively to science activities or mathematical thinking. But we must recognize that just as children are building up ideas about volume, number, and what makes something sink or float, they are building working models of their social world. Every day they are building up a picture of themselves, what makes people tick, what causes a relationship to run smoothly or turn sour. That information is the engine for all later learning because it is the source of self-esteem and a child's trust and interest in other people. Without that kind of personal esteem and social trust, other forms of inquiry go flat.

"Despite all this, in very few preschool classes do children have the chance to take part in a genuine discussion about social and moral issues. Instead, they often meet with flat-footed rules: 'We don't hit here.' 'Be nice and she'll be nice back.' 'Take turns.' As teachers and directors, we know how to ask probing questions about what makes blocks balance or rocks sink. So why not invite children to inquire into their social world? Why not talk to them about friendship? Why not help them examine actively what makes a friendship continue or break down?"

Connecting On Sale

Connecting: Friendship in the Lives of Young Children and their Teachers is one of the resources you can obtain in the customer-friendly priced Curriculum Took Kit. Other resources included in this Tool Kit are:

Beginnings Workshop Book #5 — Curriculum: Art, Music, Movement, Drama
Beginnings Workshop Book #4 — Curriculum: Brain Research, Math, Science
Hearing Everyone's Voice: Educating Young Children for Peace and Democratic Community
The Wonder of It: Exploring How the World Works
Out of the Box Training Kit: Recognizing the Essentials of Developmentally Appropriate Curriculum

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For more information about Exchange's magazine, books, and other products pertaining to ECE, go to www.ccie.com.