What To Do When Achieving Your Goals Is At Someone Else’s Expense

Sometimes managers find that they cannot discover a mutual purpose with their co-workers unless it’s at someone’s expense. This division can be upsetting to all involved and sometimes causes directors to lose sleep knowing a tough discussion lies ahead. The solution is to actively invent a new purpose that is more meaningful or rewarding than the divisive one. In Crucial Conversations: Tools for talking when stakes are high (Patterson, et al., 2002, McGraw Hill, New York) lay out a four step method that focuses on the creation of new long term goals that can help groups transcend quick and short term compromises.

They suggest the following "CRIB" method be implemented.

1. Commit to seek a mutual purpose. Show that you’re committed to continuing the dialog until you come up with something that works for all.
2. Recognize the purpose behind the strategy. Ask folks to identify why they want what they’re asking for. It’s important to understand the purpose and how it differs from the strategy.
3. Invent a mutual purpose. Once all the purposes are clarified and difference still remains try to create a higher or longer-term purpose that is motivating to all.
4. Brainstorm new strategies. Now you can all work together to search for a solution that does meet everyone’s needs.

Contributed by Joel Gordon

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